Saturday, May 20, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Couple of Bermudian Diet Ginger Beers

     Sometimes I encounter exotics, or disgustings, even when I'm not actively looking for them.  For the past month or so I'd been drinking probably gallons of a diet ginger beer I'd found up in Massachusetts, called, awkwardly enough, Cock n' Bull.  On a whim, I checked out the soft drink aisles in two Shop Rites near me, and came upon some other brands of this same soda.  It turns out that both (Barritts and Goslings) are Bermudian companies.  (It seems that both may bottle their products in plants in the U.S., too, but since it's under the authority of the parent companies, using their recipe, ingredients, etc., I'm counting them as Bermudian.)
     So I'll begin with a very brief background about Bermuda.  This island chain, consisting of 181 islands/islets, is in the Atlantic Ocean, about 1070 km. (665 miles) South/Southeast of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.  The first sea captain to record his encounter with it was Juan de Bermudez of Spain, back in 1503.  Although the islands were named for him, he never actually set foot on them.  The first human settlement was from the English Virginia Company, in 1609.  It's still affiliated with England, being a British Overseas Territory.  The capital city of Bermuda is Hamilton,  The main industry of Bermuda is tourism--the island's pink sandy beaches are a particular draw.  One oddity of Bermuda, perhaps explaining why it was settled so late, relatively, is its lack of fresh water.  To this day Bermudian residences are required to collect and utilize rainwater that falls on their roofs.  The only indigenous mammals are five species of bat.  One famous Bermudian (she was born there, and left at age 5) is actress Lena Headey, probably best known for films like "The Remains of the Day" (1993), "300" (2006), "Dredd" (2012), and the HBO series, "Game of Thrones."
     The history of ginger beer itself isn't well known.  Humans have been using ginger in food and beverages for thousands of years, but the drink probably was invented in England in the mid 1700's or so.  The Barritts website claims ginger beer is derived from mead and metheglin, which are both honey-based beverages (Mead is thought to be the oldest alcoholic beverage, period).  Early versions of ginger beer were also flavored with honey.  And were strong--up until the mid 1800's they could be 11% alcohol, or as powerful as wines or super strong IPAs and barley wines.  However, in 1855 England limited ginger beers to 2% alcohol, and so it became more of a soft drink.  (This law was obviously relaxed at some point, since currently you can buy English ginger beers that are akin to regular beers in strength, about 5% alcohol.)  Additionally, ginger beer is clearly very similar to ginger ale, but it is different--among other things it's known for its more robust taste.  Aside from England and Bermuda, ginger beer is also popular in Canada, the U.S., Ireland, and South and East Africa.
     The Barritts company dates back to 1874.  William John Barritt arrived in Bermuda in 1839, from England, and spent several decades as the head jailer of the Hamilton jail.  However, his family expanded to 12 children, and his request for a raise was rejected.  In 1874 he opened up a dry goods store, which also included a bottling machine which he used to make ginger beer.  Alas, he died that same year, but his descendants have kept up the family beverage.  The website included many drink recipes which incorporate their ginger beer, many of which are (country/city name) Mules.  To describe a few, a Moscow Mule is vodka, lime juice, and ginger beer.  A Mexican Mule is tequila, lime juice, and ginger beer.  An Irish Mule is, you guessed it, Irish whiskey, and ginger beer.
     Goslings is an even older Bermudian company, dating back to 1806.  This company is known for making several versions of rum as well as their ginger beer.  Yet another alcoholic drink, the Dark 'N' Stormy, is a registered trademark of Goslings.  This drink is made with dark rum, ginger beer, and lime juice.
     As for my ratings, I found Barritts diet ginger beer and Goslings diet ginger beer to be very similar.  Both were cloudy and light yellowish in color, carbonated, and tasted about the same.  Both were gingery, but not that intense, and had a lemon-y, citrus-y flavor to them as well.  Both of which, sadly, I found somewhat disappointing.  They weren't terrible or anything, but they weren't great, either.  I don't plan on drinking more of them.  The (U.S. made) brand I mentioned earlier, Cock 'n Bull diet ginger beer, was vastly superior, in my opinion.  It had a very strong, spicy ginger bite to it, and was delicious.  Now, to be fair, we have to acknowledge the obvious point that diet soft drinks are pretty much always worse than their regular counterparts.  So I will try both Barritts and Goslings regular versions if/when I have the chance.  Plus I've had, and enjoyed, the Dark 'N" Stormy I had a couple of years ago.  (Oops, for legal reasons I'll refer to it as a dark and stormy, or as a Dark 'N' Stormy--like equivalent, since it wasn't made with official Goslings dark rum and official Goslings ginger beer.)  But, at this point, trying what I've tried to date, I think England's Idris Fiery Ginger Beer (see June 9, 2013 post) is still the best regular ginger beer I've had, and the Cock 'n Bull is the best diet ginger beer.  And the England's Crabbies is the best alcoholic ginger beer.
     Finally, I was amused to see that a bad bottle of ginger beer led to a landmark legal case concerning negligence in the U.K. back in 1932.  In Donaghue vs. Stevenson, a Mrs. Donaghue was sickened by a snail found in a Stevenson's ginger beer, while in Paisley, Renfrewshire, Scotland.  There's even a documentary about it.  (And for anyone worried about/perversely intrigued by this story, I couldn't find evidence that Stevenson's is still in business.  Presumably the fine settlement, legal bills, and the notoriety severely hurt their business.)







































Saturday, May 13, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Few Baked Goods from the U.K.

     Today I'll be talking about two products from McVitie's, and one from Jacob's.  More specifically, a couple of types of "digestives," as they're known in the U.K,. and a kind of cracker.
     Even my usual cursory look at the manufacturers quickly became complicated, and more than a little confusing.  Jacob's dates back to either 1850 or 1851 (sources vary) in Ireland.  However, they were bought out by United Biscuits in 2004.  McVitie's began in Scotland in 1803.  Both companies are now owned by pledis (no capital "P", for some reason), along with famous food brands like Godiva Chocolates, Ulker, and DeMets Candy.  Pledis in turn is owned by Yildiz Holdings, which is a Turkish/Middle Eastern company, and is the food wing of CEEMEA.  Between all of these the overall business operates in at least 120 countries, and employs over 50,000 people.  So we're talking about an absolutely immense company.
     To me, the McVitie's offerings I got, the milk chocolate with caramel digestives, and the milk chocolate with orange digestives, would be called "cookies," or a dessert-like baked good.  But they're called "digestives" because they were thought to aid in digestion.  Which is true, by the way.  They contain baking soda (sodium bicarbonate), which does indeed help with indigestion.  Even learning this, I still find the name puzzling.  Referring to these by this term almost makes them sound like medicine, and not a pleasant culinary treat.  (What Americans call cookies are also sometimes called "biscuits" in the U.K.)  Clearly consumers in the U.K. don't care, though, as McVitie's are the most popular brand of this type of food.  They are often a major part of "tea time," sometimes dunked into the tea itself before being eaten.  A man name Alexander Grant developed digestives back in 1892.  Switching gears a bit, this product also allegedly sparked an argument between George Harrison and John Lennon of The Beatles.  Supposedly John's girlfriend Yoko Ono helped herself to some of George's McVitie's digestives during the recording sessions of the "Abbey Road" album in 1969, and Harrison protested, leading to a fight.
     The Jacob's crackers I tried were the cream crackers, first made in 1885.  There's no different names here--we Americans call this food type "crackers" as well.  (Although the Jacob's crackers also contain baking soda/sodium bicarbonate--don't know why they're not given credit for helping with digestion, too.)  I did read something controversial about the company, though.  Famous labor activist Rosie Hackett was once employed by Jacob's, and the company was one of the ones that she and her trade unions protested against, in 1911-13.  Hopefully the treatment of their workforce has improved significantly in the past century!
     But let's get to the food itself.  Both kinds of digestives were round, and a light brown color, with their company name stamped on one side, and with a milk chocolate coating on the other.  They had a diameter of about 6 cm. (or about 2.25 inches) and had a grid-like pattern under the chocolate.  The orange one had some orange flavor to it.  They were solid, but unspectacular.  Not as sweet as most American cookies.  They had a soft, chewy texture, layered like a candy bar.  The caramel kind was a bit better.  A little more sweet, and tastier.  I probably like caramel flavor more than orange in my cookies/digestives/biscuits, it appears.
     The Jacob's cream crackers were square, 7 cm (about 2.5 inches) to a side, whitish, with brown cooking marks on them.  They also had the brand name stamped on them.  I found these to be rather bland. With things on them (cheese, mustard, etc.) they were good, but they were rather boring by themselves, unadorned.  I like a typical saltine cracker better, as the greater salty taste has a little more pep.  To be fair, my mother quite enjoyed these crackers, more than me--she and my father remembered eating them when they lived in England for a year back in the early 1960's.
     Therefore, of the three baked goods, the cream crackers and the orange digestive were okay, but not dazzling.  Certainly not bad, but not especially memorable, either.   I would get the caramel digestives again, however.  And I would be willing to try other McVitie's/Jacob's/pledis products.  Given that there are over 300 brands under this company umbrella, that's quite an extensive choice!
     Also, maybe any U.K. readers can help me answer a question I have.  On the computer, some websites track your visits, and relay this info to your web browser.  We call these "cookies."  Do you call them "biscuits," or "digestives," or something else entirely?


































Saturday, May 6, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Japanese Rice Candy

     We're heading back East again, back to a familiar destination on my blog--Japan.  The brand of candy I'll be discussing goes by a couple of names.  The box I picked up, the export, is called Botan rice candy.  "Botan" is Japanese for "peony," the type of flower, and a picture of this is on the box, alongside one of a traditional dog-shaped toy called a inu-hariko.  However, in Japan the brand is named Bonton ame.  "Bonton" means pomelo (see February 20, 2014 post for more info about this fruit) and the candy's flavor is thought to approximate this.  The overall company which produces Botan/Bonton ame is Seiko Foods.
     The Seiko company website was informative, at times amusing, and even a little depressing at one point.  The company has gone through several name changes over the years, but a precursor of it dates all the way back to 1903.  Once in the business of producing glutinous starch syrup, they now make various candies, desserts, and frozen meats and vegetables.  The website is very detailed, even going so far as to print which banks the company employs.  On the sad side, their Company Profile page also includes a "memories of the war" section.  To end on a lighter note, I really enjoyed some of the advertising slogans for Botan/Bonton ame over the years.  In the mid 1920's (the candy was developed in 1924) their catch phrase was "the long-nosed goblin's secret recipe."  Who can argue with that?  These hideous monsters are traditionally the best candy makers, after all!  A more recent slogan boasts that the candy is "known and tasted at least once by anyone and everyone in Japan."  The cynic in me is a little suspicious that this claim is 100% accurate.  (And if it is, that is truly amazing.)
     Anyway, the rice candy is made from glucose syrup (corn syrup, water), sugar, sweet rice, water, lemon flavor, orange flavor, and Allura Red AC food coloring.  Inside the box were six reddish-pink pieces, measuring about 2 cm. by 1 cm. (or about .75 inches by .5 inches)  And here's where I have to admit something a little embarrassing.  After taking off the outer wrapper I was confronted by an inner wrapper surrounding each piece of candy.  Or, really, stuck onto/into the candy.  I tried to peel off this inner wrapper without success.  I quickly grew frustrated, and angry.   I bit into the candy as I could.  But after only a few brief tastes I threw the lot into the trash, cursing and carrying on about the terrible packaging.  Well, it turns out I was being unobservant, and bit foolish.  On the website, later, I read that the inner wrapper is made from edible material, and is designed to dissolve in the consumer's mouth.  "Why don't they print this on the box?" I wondered.  Then I looked at the box more closely.  On the inside of the end flaps it does indeed read, "Each candy has an edible inner wrapper that melts in your mouth."  Oops.  For the record, what little of the candy I did eat wasn't that great.  Kind of average, and not very sweet.  Fruity, in a pedestrian way.  But I'd be lying if I said that the annoying-at-the-time packaging didn't influence my overall opinion, so take that into account.  The box also came with a sticker, featuring a wild haired waiter standing next to a brown dog.  Don't know if this is a character from some other entertainment medium, or original to Seika.
     Therefore, I don't know if I'll try this again, if/when I get the chance.  Part of me doesn't want to, since I wasn't blown away by the taste, and out of slight shame/spite about the weird inner wrapper.  I guess I'll go with another of their candies, or an ice pop, instead.  And, as I said, the Seika website is definitely a cut above most food company websites, with its comprehensive business details, entertaining historical anecdotes, and even a touch of pathos for balance.


    Apparently I'm not the only one who was put off by Botan's strange inner wrapper.  My friend Keith found an image, which I'm posting below.


























Sunday, April 30, 2017

Latest Publishing Update--"The Big Book of Bootleg Horror Vol. 1"


     I'm happy to announce that another anthology is out which features one of my horror stories.  As you can see from the cover above, this one comes from HellBound Books, whose website address is:  hellboundbookspublishing.com  I'll include the "blurb" below:

Twenty tales of terror, darkness, the truly macabre and things most unpleasant from a delectably eclectic bunch of the very best independent horror authors on the scene today!

S.E. Rise, Kevin Wetmore, Paul Stansfield, Craig Stewart, Shaun Avery, Jeff Myers, Marc DeWit, Timothy Wilkie, Quinn Cunningham, Melanie Waghorne, Marc E. Fitch, Stanley B. Webb, Tim J. Finn, Ken Goldman, Ralph Greco Jr, Roger Leatherwood, Vincent Treewell, David Owain Hughes, J.J. Smith and the inimitable James H. Longmore.

In this superlative tome, HellBound Books have embraced the taboo, gone all-out to horrify and have broken the flimsy boundaries of good taste to make The Big Book of Bootleg Horror the perfect anthology for those who take their horror like we take our coffee - insidiously dark and most definitely unsweetened.

    The paperback format is $15.99, and the Kindle ebook version is $4.99.  Enjoy!

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Slovenian Mineral Water

     I have to admit, that up until very recently I wasn't entirely sure what mineral water was all about.  I can recall the use of it in the classic 1980's movie, "Heathers," but that's about it.  (For those that don't remember, in the film it's a sign of how backward and homophobic the town was, as consumption of this beverage made folks automatically question one's sexuality.)  Well, basically, mineral water is simply water that has minerals in it, such as salts and sulfur compounds.  Certain areas in the world are famous for their mineral water sources, as these were often supposed to have medicinal and healing qualities.  Spas often sprung up around them, and then people started to bottle and sell these waters.  Some are naturally carbonated.
     Obviously, Slovenia has some of these naturally occurring mineral water sources.  The brand I bought was Radenska.  In addition to marketing a few types of mineral waters, they also make flavored waters (their Oaza line), and carbonated soft drinks (their Ora line).  The former includes some exotic flavors, such as thyme, linden/honey/lime (linden is a tree sometimes used in herbal teas and tinctures), and elderflower and white tea.  I thought I was trying two types of mineral water, but alas I was careless and bought two bottles of the same kind by mistake, as the labels were slightly different.  So the only kind I was able to locate was their classic mineral water.  This beverage has high concentrations of calcium and magnesium in it.  Which is also the distinction of what constitutes "hard" water.  "Soft" water is water with low concentrations of magnesium and calcium.  (And evidently waters with a moderate amount of these substances are just "semihard, regular" water, I guess.)  If your home water supply is "hard," that can have negative effects.  Boilers' function may be affected, and household pipes may get clogged with mineral deposits.  Also soap may not lather properly in dishwashers and washing machines.  (Alternately, I've stayed in some hotels with overly "soft' water, which is unpleasant, too.  It feels greasy--like you still have soap on your hands even after rinsing thoroughly.)
     Anyway, I tried the classic Radenska, which came in a 1.5 liter plastic bottle, and a 1 liter glass bottle.  I had it chilled, but plain, and then over ice.  I could tell a difference between this and regular tap water.  Not really in a good way.  It wasn't as refreshing, somehow, as normal water.  A major factor was probably the carbonation.  Plus, to be fair, I think I've tried domestic mineral waters in my life, and came away similarly unimpressed.  So, while I didn't like it, and wouldn't recommend it, maybe avid mineral water drinkers would enjoy it.  (My father, for example, said he liked it just fine.)
     Finally, to throw out some very brief info about the country of Slovenia, it gained its independence from the former Yugoslavia in 1991.  In 2004 the nation joined NATO and the European Union.  And the 2012 Global Peace Index rated them as one of the world's most peaceful countries.




















Saturday, April 22, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Amish Cup Cheese

     We return once more to Amish cuisine.  Or the Pennsylvania "Dutch," as they're often called, which is incorrect and confusing.  That's a corruption of the word "Deutsch," or what the Germans call themselves.  So the Amish are originally from Germany, not The Netherlands.  The Amish, and the related Mennonites, are best known as being hardcore pacifists, who live a traditional, rural life, eschewing many modern technological inventions, such as zippers, computers, cars (for the Amish, that is, Mennonites sometimes drive black, nonfancy autos), etc.  The Amish and Mennonites live in other U.S. states (and parts of Europe and Canada), such as Delaware, Ohio, and Indiana, but the Keystone State-dwelling ones are the most famous.
     I happened to be in the heart of Pennsylvania "Dutch" country, near Lancaster, when I came upon something new in a huge grocery called Maple Farms.  It was authentic Amish cup cheese.  This is a soft, spreadable cheese, which gets its name from the container it's usually stored in.  Appropriate--a simple, basic name from folks who value plain things as a philosophy.  The cheese dates back to the late 1600's. when the Amish first settled in Pennsylvania, before it was even a U.S. state.  It's based on the German cheese called Kochkase (aka Koch Kse), and is also sometimes referred to as "soda cheese."  Cup cheese is made with soured milk which is then heated, strained, and melted.  Many consumers report a mild flavor, similar to French brie.  More infamous, though, is the purported odor.  Some think it has a strong, rank smell, akin to the notorious limburger cheese (see September 24, 2012 post).
     The kind I got was made by September Farms, out of Honey Brook, PA.  The label listed its ingredients as being processed American cheese, pasteurized milk, salt, rennet, and cheese culture.  It was about $5 for an 8 ounce (226 gram) container.  The cheese was light yellowish in color, and was indeed very soft.  Gooey, almost like a dip in texture.  I was surprised, and oddly disappointed, sort of, to discern no horrible scent.  In fact, I couldn't detect much of any odor, good or bad.  The taste was mild, and similar to liquidy American cheese, only a tad saltier.  Basic, but tasty.  Good both by itself, and on a cracker.   I was maybe a little let down that the flavor wasn't more strong and distinctive, but it certainly wasn't negative  My father tried it and had the same positive reaction, and echoed my opinion about the cheese's lack of terrible odor.
     All in all, then, I would recommend Amish cup cheese.  But if you're looking to gross someone out with a foul-smelling food, I'd look elsewhere.  (Or at least not buy September Farm's kind--it's possible this dairy tones down the smell.)

















Saturday, April 15, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Fijian Ginger Candy

     As with previous posts, the topic's origin is more than one place.  The ginger does indeed come from Fiji, but the company that packages it and distributes it, the Ginger People Group, is based in the U.S., California specifically.  This business is aptly named, as their products all revolve around ginger.  They make several kinds of ginger-based candies, ginger beer, and ginger energy drinks.  Also various products designed for ginger's alleged medical benefits, which are said to aid in digestion, help battle prostate cancer, nausea, and arthritis, and boost circulation, immunity, and energy, among others things.  The wonderful cable television program "Mythbusters" actually tested the notion that ginger pills can ward off seasickness, using a bizarre seasickness torture chair, and found that they actually worked, with no side effects.  (It was graded "plausible" for other, more detailed reasons--see episode guide for more information, if you care.)  According to the Ginger People Group, Fiji boasts some of the best ginger on Earth.  They cite the island nation's nutrient-rich soil, pristine ecosystems, and natural tropical rainfall irrigation.  Also, the farmer's strategy of rotating the crops with cassava and taro supposedly pays dividends, too.
     To give a very brief overview, Fiji consists of over 330 islands, and over 500 islets, in the Melanesian area of the Pacific.  The island's inhabitants traditionally used the term "Viti" to refer to their home, but their neighbors the Tongan Islanders used the name "Fiji."  English explorer Captain James Cook help promote the Fiji term, and it's stuck.  The island group has been independent since 1970, and a republic since 1987.  Alas, it's also been marked by political instability, with several military coups and other governmental changes during this time.  One of its old nicknames particularly interested me--the "Cannibal Isles."  In this case the title, often used inaccurately to deride an enemy country, appears to be accurate, as there is evidence that Fijians did partake in this controversial practice.  The Guinness Book of World Records even has one for the person who ate the most people in their life.  A Fijian chief, Ratu Udre Udre is listed as the champ, with at least 872 (and perhaps up to 1000) individual human victims consumed.  (This number was taken from the tradition of keeping a type of stone for every human eaten, and counting the pile later.)  (Furthermore, I don't mean to pick on the Fijians here.  Every country has had, shall we say, morally questionable cultural practices at one time or another.  This particular bit of historical trivia just piqued my interest.)
     But back to the product.  I ate a bag from the company's gin-gins line, the basic crystallized ginger flavor.  Other flavors in this line include spicy apple, peanut, uncrystallized ginger drops, double strength, super strength, and hot coffee.  The individual pieces were about .75 by .75 inch cubes (or about 2 cm. by 2 cm.), which were light brown in color, coated with crystallized sugar.  The texture was firm and chewy, but not exactly crunchy.  To be blunt, these candies were very much like the other dried, crystallized ginger candies I've had over the years.  Which is to say, excellent.  A nice spicy "bite," but not too much.  I love ginger, and ginger candy such as this has always been very tasty.  I don't know that the Fijian ginger was better than the other company's ginger, but it certainly wasn't any worse, either.  If you like ginger, you'll probably enjoy these.  Also, not surprisingly, these candies are billed as being all-natural, fat free, vegan, and gluten free, if you care about any of these things.  Finally, don't know if this is coincidental, but the gin-gins cartoon logo mascot is a little funny and strange.  It's a anthropomorphized piece of ginger, complete with limbs and a face, who's reclining on a pile of dried ginger, and tossing a piece in his (or her, that's not clear!) mouth.  Or, put another way, this individual is lying on the dried, dismembered corpses of his/her comrades, while also cannibalizing them!



















Saturday, April 8, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Mexican/Japanese/American Peanut Snacks

     As readers can tell from all the slashes in the title, this one is more than a little confusing.  When I first picked these up, again from a Wegman's supermarket, I thought these were Mexican, since they were clearly marked, "Made in Mexico."  That the product name was "Samurai," complete with the appropriate sword in the logo, I figured, was kind of random, just a marketing decision.  But it turns out I was wrong.  "Japanese peanuts," usually referred to as "cacahuates japoneses" or "mani japones" in Spanish-speaking countries, and as "cracker peanuts" in English-speaking nations, were invented by a Japanese-Mexican.  Yoshigei Nakatani immigrated to Mexico in 1932, married a local Mexican woman, had kids, and converted to Catholicism.  Somewhere between 1945-1951 (sources vary), he developed a new kind of snack, by coating peanuts in wheat flour dough and then frying them.  He sold these in Mexico City, and they quickly became popular throughout the country.  Several others came up with versions of his snack, so now you can buy many variants of these special peanuts.
     Alas, I purchased an American knockoff.  From Tuty, a company that started in 2005 in Texas, and now has plants in Mexico, too.  (They also make other peanut-based snacks, cheese snacks, sweet bar snacks, and alternate flavors of cracker peanuts, including chili, habonero, and sriracha.)  According to a blog I read, although Tuty's Samurai peanuts are popular in Mexico, many Mexicans consider the Nishikawa ones to be the best.  Tuty's website is rather sparse about its history, or other information, but, to be fair, they are pretty new.  Also, they sometimes refer to this brand as "Samura," since the handle of the sword hanging below the word in the logo makes the "i" at the end of the word.  Even though it's clearly meant to be "samurai,"--it doesn't make much sense.
     Anyway, I had the classic Samurai coated peanuts, the coated peanuts with lemon, and the cacahuates, the uncoated chili-flavored peanuts.  My notes for each are below.

Samurai classic coated peanuts:  Look like tiny potatoes with their coating.  Taste pretty good, but since I really enjoy peanuts, this isn't unexpected.  Slightly salty, and tangier than most peanuts.  Overall were more than solid.

Samurai coated peanuts with lemon:  Slight lemon tang.  Didn't like as much as the classic one, or the chili ones.  Lemon flavor not as good. Not a very pleasing flavor pairing.  Not atrocious, but not especially tasty, either.

Samurai uncoated chili-flavored peanuts:  Just peanuts covered in reddish spice powder.  Spicy as advertised.  Not overly hot, but a nice "bite."  Pretty good--liked these better than the lemon ones, but not quite as much as the classic coated.

     Therefore, I would recommend these, except maybe for the coated kind with lemon.  It's pretty difficult to mess up peanuts as a food, and the "cracker peanuts" seem like a decent to very good variant of them.  (One notable peanut-based snack that is terrible is the Southern U.S. cultural abomination known as "boiled peanuts," which take a tasty treat and turn it into a revolting, salty mush.)  I wish I'd tried a more authentic Mexican/Japanese type, though.  Hopefully I'll get the chance, and then I can compare them to the Tuty ones.

























Saturday, April 1, 2017

Unique or at Least Rare Major League Baseball Feats and Records

     The baseball season is nearly upon us, so today I thought I'd discuss some unusual happenings in its history.  And good luck to my Phillies in the upcoming season.  Assuming that their young players progress nicely, and that they don't have too many injuries, I think they could possibly win 75-81 games this year.  (I'm realistic.)  As usual, I'll use some statistical shorthand here and there.  A three part "slash," such as .250/.320/.430 indicates, respectively, batting average/on base percentage/slugging average.  And for position players, a number followed by a plus sign, like 100+ indicates OPS adjusted, or on base plus slugging average, adjusted for time period, stadium, etc., with 100 being average, and above that good, etc.  Positions are abbreviated 1B for first baseman, SS for shortstop, OF for outfielder, P for pitcher, etc.  Let's get to it.

   Sometimes, baseball is a family affair, with brothers, or fathers and sons all having time in the majors.  Here are MLB's 3 generation families:

1) OF Gus Bell (1950-64) sired 3B/OF Buddy Bell (1972-89), who then fathered 3B/PH Mike Bell (2000), and 2B/3B David Bell (1995-2006).

2) 3B/SS/1B Ray Boone (1948-60) fathered C Bob Boone (1972-90), who in turn produced 2B Bret Boone (1992-2005), and 3B/1B Aaron Boone (1997-2009).

3) Then there's the pitching Colemans, with Joe (1942-55), Joe, Jr. (1965-79), and then Casey (2010-14).

4) PH/C Sam Hairston (1951) produced PH/OF/1B Jerry (1973-89), who then sired 2B/OF/3B Jerry, Jr. (1998-2013), and OF/PH/2B Scott (2004-14).

5) SS/2B/3B Dick Schofield (1953-71) produced SS Dick (1983-96), who in turn was the uncle to OF Jayson Werth (2002-present), who's stepdad was 1B/OF/C Dennis Werth (1979-82).

    Sometimes, fathers and sons even played on the same team.  For example, Hall of Fame OF Tim Raines played with his son, Tim, Jr., also an OF, with the Baltimore Orioles in 2001.  OF/1B Ken Griffey (1973-91) played with Hall of Fame OF Ken, Jr. (1989-2010) on the Seattle Mariners together in 1990.  They even hit home runs back to back on Sept. 14, 1990.

     Moving to umpires, Hall of Famer Ed Runge, his son Paul, and his son Brian, all umpired in the Majors.

     On Sept. 15, 1963, the San Francisco Giants had an all-Alou outfield, with Felipe, Matty, and Jesus all playing at the same time.

     Incredibly, 5 brothers from one family all played in the Majors.  Most notably, Hall of Fame OF/1B/2B Ed Delahanty, along with 2B/3B/OF Jim, 3B/2B/SS Tom, OF Frank, and OF/2B Joe, in the late 1890's, early 1900's.  Next up is the O'Neill family, who sent brothers Steve (catcher and manager), C Jack, SS/2B/3B Jim, and P/OF Mike to the Majors in the early 1900's again.  To be fair, if it wasn't for MLB's shameful race barrier from the late 1800's to 1947, the Bankheads might have had 5 major leaguers, too.  Pitcher Dan did make the Majors in 1947, while his brothers Sam (INF/OF), Fred (INF), Joe (P), and Garnett (No positional information) all played in the Negro Leagues.

     Obviously, the most exciting way for a game to end is on a walk-off play, when the home team wins instantly in the last inning.  It's happened eleven times in the final game of a World Series.  Winning teams listed first.

1912 Boston Red Sox vs. New York Giants, Game 8 (Game 2 called for darkness).  Larry Gardner's sacrifice fly wins the championship in the 10th inning, 3-2.

1924 Washington Senators vs. New York Giants, Game 7.  Earl McNeely's double (some sources claim it was a single) knocks in the winning run in the 12th inning, 4-3.

1927 New York Yankees vs. Pittsburgh Pirates, Game 4.  Pittsburgh hurler Johnny Miljus's wild pitch allows Yankee Earle Combs to score the winning run in the 9th inning, 4-3.

1929 Philadelphia Athletics vs. Chicago Cubs, Game 5.  Bing Miller's double in the 9th inning wins the Series, 3-2.

1935 Detroit Tigers vs. Chicago Cubs, Game 6.  A single by Goose Goslin plates the winning run in the 9th inning, 4-3.

1953 New York Yankees vs. Brooklyn Dodgers, Game 6.  Billy Martin's single knocks in the winning run in the 9th inning, 4-3.

1960 Pittsburgh Pirates vs. New York Yankees, Game 7.  Bill Mazeroski hits the first walk off, Series-winning home run in the 9th inning, Pirates winning 10-9.

1991 Minnesota Twins vs. Atlanta Braves, Game 7.  Gene Larkin's single over a pulled in outfield wins the game 1-0, in the 9th inning for the Twins.

1993 Toronto Blue Jays vs. Philadelphia Phillies, Game 6.  Joe Carter's home run in the 9th inning wins the Series for the Jays, 8-6.

1997 Florida Marlins vs. Cleveland Indians, Game 7.  Edgar Renteria's single scores the winning run in the 9th inning, 3-2.

2001 Arizona Diamondbacks vs. New York Yankees, Game 7.  Luis Gonzalez singles in the winning run in the 9th inning, 3-2.

     Two players have hit a grand slam home run on the first pitch they saw in the majors--Kevin Kouzmanoff did it for the Cleveland Indians on Sept. 2, 2006, and Daniel Nava did it for the Boston Red Sox on June 12, 2010.

     The record for the most total bases in one game is 19, set by Los Angeles Dodger Shawn Green on May 23, 2002.  He hit 4 home runs (tied for the all time record), 1 double, and a single.

     The record for most rbi in one game is 12, held by two St. Louis Cardinals players.  Hall of Fame 1B Jim Bottomley got his on Sept. 16, 1924, while OF Mark Whiten did it on Sept. 7, 1993.

     Probably the ultimate sign of respect is when a batter is intentionally walked with the bases loaded, since that guarantees that one run will score.  It's been done 6 times:

1) Abner Dalrymple of the Chicago Cubs, on August 2, 1881.

2) Nap Lajoie of the Philadelpia Athletics, on May 23, 1901.  (He won the Triple Crown that year, leading the league in batting average, home runs, and rbi.)

3) Del Bissonette of the Brooklyn Dodgers, on May 2, 1928.  (I'd never heard of Bissonette, but he hit .320/.396/.543 that year, so it makes sense.)

4) Bill Nicholson of the Chicago Cubs, on July 23, 1944, second game of doubleheader.  (Nicholson had already hit 4 home runs total that day, over the two games, so this is very understandable.)

5) Barry Bonds of San Francisco Giants, on May 28, 1998.  (All time home run leader Bonds was obviously an incredibly dangerous hitter, a sure fire Hall of Famer if he hadn't done PED's.)

6) Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers, on Aug. 17, 2008.
         (One source claimed this was done to Mel Ott, too, but I couldn't confirm it.)

     Toby Harrah did something no other shortstop ever did before, or since, on June 25, 1976.  He played an entire doubleheader while having no defensive chances.

     On August 4, 1982, Joel Youngblood became the only man to get hits for two different teams, in two different cities, on the same day.  He got the first as a New York Met in a day game in Chicago.  Then, he was traded after the game to the Montreal Expos.  He flew to Philadelphia in time to play in their night game vs. the Phillies, and got his second hit.

     Consider poor Larry Yount. On Sept. 15, 1971, while playing for the Houston Astros, he was announced as the next pitcher late in the game.  This was his debut in the majors.  However, he injured himself while making his warm up throws, and had to leave the game without throwing a single pitch.  So by league rules he's credited with appearing in one game, since he was officially announced, but he's the only guy to never actually participate in any game action!  And alas, while he healed up and pitched in the minors afterwards, he never was called up to the majors again.  He's also the older brother of Hall of Fame SS/OF Robin Yount.

     The most batters faced by a pitcher without getting a single out in a career in held by Elmer "Doc" Hamann, with the Cleveland Indians on Sept. 21, 1922 vs. the Boston Red Sox.  He faced 7 batters and gave up 3 hits, walked 3, hit 1 batter, and threw a wild pitch for good measure, giving up 6 runs.

     On a similar note, the highest lifetime ERA for a pitcher (excluding men like Hamann, who's ERA is infinity because he didn't record an out), is 189.00, set by Joe Cleary of the Washington Senators on August 4, 1945.  He gave up 5 hits, 3 walks, 1 wild pitch, and 7 earned runs in one third of an inning.  (He's also the last Ireland-born major leaguer.)  He was relieved by Bert Shepard, in his only major league appearance, who pitched 5 and a third innings, and gave up only 3 hits, 1 walk, and 1 run.  Shepard's unique because due to a war injury he only had one leg!

     The record for most lifetime at bats without a hit, pitchers excluded, is 23, held by 2 players.  Larry Littleton, with the 1981 Cleveland Indians, and Mike Potter, with the St. Louis Cardinals in 1976-77.  Potter did walk once, and Littleton 3 times.

     Continuing with negative individual records, only one guy ever made 4 errors on one play--Mike Grady, with the 1899 New York Giants (couldn't find the exact date, or much detail.)  Reportedly, while playing third be first booted a ground ball for error #1.  Then he threw the ball over the first baseman's head for error #2.  The right fielder then threw the ball to Grady to catch the baserunner near third.  Grady dropped the ball for error #3.  Then, as the runner broke for home, Grady threw the ball over the catcher's head, into the stands, for error #4!  Although he was terrible on this play, Grady was a good player overall, in his career from 1894-1906.  He finished at .294/.374/.425, with an adjusted OPS of 126.  He also helped save a family from a fire about a year later.

     The all time worst choke by a team leading with 2 outs in the 9th inning, and no baserunners, was the Washington Senators vs. the Cleveland Blues (later Indians) on May 23, 1901.  Pitcher Casey Patten had a 13-5 lead, and opened the 9th by getting the first two outs.  Then, he, and a reliever, proceeded to give up 6 singles, 2 doubles, 1 walk, a hit batsman, and a passed ball, total, as well as 9 runs, to lose 14-13!

     Outfielder Rick Bosetti had an obscure career from 1976-82, with the Philadelphia Phillies, St. Louis Cardinals, Toronto Blue Jays, and Oakland Athletics, finishing with a line of .250/.288/.338, and an OPS+ of 72.  However, in 1979 he told the press of his, shall we say, unorthodox accomplishments.  He claimed to have urinated on the grass of every ball park in the league.  In interviews he said this was done before the games, while the stands were empty, but others claimed he sometimes did it during the games, during pitching changes, just to prove that he could do it without being caught (supposedly he stood up against the outfield wall, covered himself with his glove, and went).  Assuming the rumors were true, he certainly risked being arrested for public urination/indecent exposure in one of the more dramatic, weirdest ways possible!

     Enjoy the season.  Thanks to www.baseball-reference.com, several blogs, and "The Baseball Hall of Shame" book series ( by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo).































































































Saturday, March 25, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Scottish Drink and Candy Bar

     These two were yet another Wegman's international aisle find.  Today I'll be discussing Lees Jaffa orange chocolate candy bar and A.G. Barr's Irn-Bru soda.  Lees has been around since 1931, and basically makes desserts.  Snowballs, teacakes, meringues, and confectionery bars.  For the latter, aside from the one I was able to get, they also make macaroon, creamy strawberry, raspberry coconut ice, mint chocolate, Scottish tablet, and Scottish fudge.  Their website also has a place where kids (or adults, I suppose) can play a "Space Invaders" ripoff called "Cake Invaders."
     A.G. Barr started as a cork-cutting business in 1830, but in 1871 they ventured into carbonated soft drinks, then called "aerated water."  The business promptly flourished, partially for depressing reasons.  As reported on the website, many Scottish industrial towns at the time were known for their poor sanitation, and correspondingly bad quality water, so a soft drink made from clean water and ingredients was the safer bet.  (Of course, taken to an extreme this would lead to severe dehydration, but in small doses it seems to have helped.)  In 1901 the company launched their signature drink, Iron Brew.  It became known as "Scotland's National Drink," after whisky (also spelled whiskey in much of the world),  They even made fun of the drink's orange color, by having the slogan, "Made in Scotland from girders."  One of Iron Brew's earliest celebrity pitchmen was Alex Munro, who was a champion in a quintessentially Scottish sport--caber tossing.  Due to World War II's strict rationing of food and beverage supplies, Iron Brew was not made from 1942-47.  When A.G. Barr found out that this rationing would end soon, they decided to change the drink's name, out of fear of reports about the new food regulation labeling laws.  The rumor was that labels and names had to be absurdly literal, so much so that calling their drink Iron Brew might be targeted because while it did have some iron in it, it wasn't technically brewed.  So Iron Brew became Irn-Bru.  One additional odd detail about this is these laws reportedly didn't go into effect until 1964, and when they did they weren't as ridiculous as feared.  So, basically the name was changed for nothing.  Once the drink was produced again, it was as popular as ever.  Currently it's the most popular soft drink in Scotland, beating out Coke and Pepsi, even.  And, like Coke, the recipe for Irn-Bru, using 32 ingredients, is a strict secret, known by only 3 people.  Aside from their signature drink, A.G.Barr also sells fruit drinks, drink cocktail mixes (their Funkin line), original, old timey soda styles, and other soft drinks.  The one that really caught my eye was D'N'B, a dandelion and burdock flavored drink (see the January 12, 2015 and April 13, 2013 posts for more info on these foods).  Irn-Bru does have some controversy, though.  It uses the Sunset Yellow FCF and Ponceau 4R food colorings, which are thought to possibly cause hyperactivity and ADHD in children.  Also, quinine, which in extreme cases can cause nasty side effects like headaches, irregular heartbeat, deafness, and other symptoms, some pretty serious.
     The Jaffa orange bar looked like a typical one, covered in wavy dark chocolate.  The inner portion was a yellowish-orange color, not surprisingly.  Since I prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate, this bar had that hurdle to overcome, for me.  It was okay--the filling was noticeably orange-y, and it somehow had a York Peppermint Patty thing going for it.  So overall, it was pretty average for a chocolate bar.  Of course those who prefer dark chocolate would probably enjoy it more than I did.
     The Irn-Bru was in a 16.9 ounce (500 milliliter) bottle, and had the expected orange hue.  The 32 secret flavors were hard to pin down.  I kind of associated it most with a root beerish flavor.  Once again, I didn't hate it, but also didn't love it.  Alright, kind of "meh."  Famous Scottish comedian Billy Connolly had a bit on his 1975 album extolling Irn-Bru's alleged benefits as a hangover cure.  I didn't test this property myself.
     In conclusion, then, I wouldn't really recommend either the Irn-Bru or the Lees Jaffa orange bar, but I wouldn't warn against them, either.  If/when I get the opportunity, I think I'll go with other A.G. Barr and Lees varieties.





































Saturday, March 18, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Sour Oranges

     Sour oranges (aka bitter oranges, Seville oranges, marmalade oranges) are native to Southeast Asia, as are many/most citrus fruits.  They're a hybrid of the mandarin orange and pumellos.  Currently they're grown all over the world, at least the parts of the world that have hot enough climates.  Here in the U.S. they're cultivated in Florida, and obviously the area around Seville, Spain, is another spot that produces a lot of them.
     In looking this fruit up, I learned that is has many non-edible uses.  Perfumes sometimes use the essential oils from sour oranges.  The wood from their trees is used for carved items.  Soap can be made from their fruit.  Plus, sour oranges are utilized in herbal medicine, usually as an appetite suppressant or as a stimulant.  (More on this later.)  Not to say that they're not used in edibles, of course.  One of their nicknames reveals that they're used in making marmalade.  And the Belgian witbier (white beer) style sometimes uses the peel of this fruit as a flavor additive.
    There are several subspecies of sour orange.  The one I bought was greenish-yellow in color, and small, maybe the size of a typical tangerine, or a small orange.  The pulp inside was roughly the same hue.  The taste was.....absolutely wretched.  Here are the notes that I wrote after eating it:  "Ugh.  Tastes like grapefruit--sour as hell.  Awful.  Why do people eat this?"  I choked down two segments, then I stopped punishing myself.  I squeezed some juice out of the remaining pulp, and tried that separately.  This was similarly crappy.  The sour orange was definitely one of the worst fruits I've tried, and probably one of the worst foods, ever.  It was an even more atrocious version of grapefruit. Maybe the scent is good, or the marmalade made with it.  I've liked some Belgian wit biers, so it's possible I've enjoyed sour orange in that limited context.  But as a regular fruits, as a snack, or in a salad, I would only wish it upon my worst enemies, and even then I'd have to think about it.  It was cheap, at least, being about $0.80 for the one I got.
     As for sour oranges in herbal supplement form, there are many red flags.  Evidently its negative side effects are similar to ephedra, with an increased chance of angina, ischemic colitis, and strokes.  So beware of sour orange in that form, too.










Saturday, March 11, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Israeli Snacks

     I'm heading to the Middle East for this post.  Wegman's grocery came through yet again.  Today I'll be talking about two products from Osem--Bamba peanut snacks and Petit Beuree biscuits.  And then two products from Unilever--the Klik La-Hit and the Klik Choko-kid candy bars.
     I'd never heard of Osem or Unilever, which shows how little I know about European and Middle Eastern companies.  Because both are absolutely huge.  Osem started in 1942, as a consolidation of several noodle factories, accomplished by a group known as the Amazing Seven.  "Osem" means "plenty" in a Yom Kippur prayer.  Osem started off making pastries, baked goods, sauces, ketchup, and soup.  Then, in 1995 they partnered up with the immense international company Nestle.  Nestle now owns a majority of the company.  Through this merger, Osem now also manufactures pet food, pickles, canned foods, and jams.  And probably many other things--I grew exhausted reading through their website!
     Unilever began in 1929, as the Dutch margarine company Unie and the British soupmaking Lever Brothers combined, and merged their name as if they were a Hollywood acting couple in a tabloid.  It was a natural marriage, since both companies depended heavily on palm oil.  Unilever grew into the mammoth outfit that they are today.  It has offices and factories on every continent save Antarctica, and they're presumably negotiating with the few scientists on that icy world to eventually open some there, too.  Included in the Unilever umbrella are Dove, Lipton, Lux, Sunsilk, and Hellmann's to name just a few of its brands.  Unilever's main competitors are Proctor & Gamble and.....Nestle.
     But enough about business, let's get to the food.  The Klik La-Hit candy bar is a crispy bar filled with nougat, coated with milk chocolate.  The one I had was good sized, being about 5 inches by 1 inch (or about 12.5 cm. by 2.5 cm.).  Its texture was rather like a Kit Kat bar, and the filling was certainly distinct.  It was good.  Not spectacular, but tasty.  I've found it's difficult to truly mess up a chocolate candy bar, and this was no exception.  The Klik Choco-kid bar was a bit smaller, about 4 inches by 1 inch (about 10.5 cm. by 2.5 cm.), and strange looking.  To use a particularly unappetizing comparison, it looked somewhat like a turd.  It was composed of about 20 roundish shapes pressed into each other.  Its color was brownish, with a white coating.  This bar was milk chocolate around an milk cream filling.  And the taste was really top notch.  The milk cream filling really made it stand out.  An excellent example of a chocolate candy bar.
     The Osem Petit Beurre biscuits were pretty big, about 2.5 by 2 inches (about 6.5 cm. by 5.5 cm.) roughly rectangular shaped.  It had regular protuberances around its edges, like it was a badge or something, and was yellowish-brown in color.  The company and product name were etched on the front of the cookie.  The flavor was not as sweet as most American cookies.  But it was still okay.  I should explain, in the U.S, a "biscuit" is like a dense roll, a dinner side, often buttered or covered with gravy.  And a "cookie" is the sweet dessert baked good, such as an Oreo, vanilla wafer, chocolate chip, etc.  Apparently in much of Europe a biscuit is their name for cookies.  Cultural differences, like football/soccer all over again.  Moving on, the Osem Bamba is a peanut snack, which looks like a yellowish-brown cheese curl, or cheese doodle.  When the Bamba was first developed, in 1964, it was very similar to a cheese curl, since it was also cheese-flavored.  However, in 1966 they were switched to be peanut flavored.  And they flourished.  To a ridiculous degree.  I read that Bambas are the most popular snack in Israel, as an astounding 90% or households buy them regularly.  They're reportedly healthier than most snacks, jam-packed with vitamins.  (I noticed an irregularity, here, as the nutrition information on the label for mine listed 0% Vitamin A, C, calcium, and iron.  Don't know what the deal is.)  A recent British study suggests that snacks like Bamba might explain why Israeli children suffer from less peanut allergies than American kids do.  Supposedly the Israeli tots eat lots of peanuts when young, unlike Americans, and as a result they don't develop that allergy.  (I want to stress that this study isn't completely substantiated, or the situation may not be this cause-and-effect, so don't feed your toddlers tons of peanuts based on this!)  I thought the texture of the Bambas was just like a cheese curl.  The taste was a little weird at first--kind of like a salty snack, but the peanut flavor made it seem a little sweetish, too.  It really grew on me, though.  I finished the bag eagerly, and really enjoyed it.  I also found the product's character logo to be amusing--it's a baby, lifting a huge barbell with one hand while the other is giving a "thumbs up."
     All in all, then, the Israeli snacks I tried were pretty impressive.  Even the weaker ones were solid, and the stronger ones were quite tasty.  I'd advise grabbing them if you can.  And given how ubiquitous their manufacturers are, you probably can locate them fairly easily.




























Saturday, March 4, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Danish Fontina Cheese

     Once again, the subject of this post is a little irregular.  As readers might suspect from its name, fontina cheese is actually an Italian invention.  Quite an old one, actually, dating back to the 12th century.  The remote, relatively unpopulated Aosta Valley is where the cheese was born, which is an area of Italy which borders with Switzerland and France.  Fontina is noted for its distinctly strong odor and flavor.  "Young" (unaged) fontina is soft and known for being a good choice for making fondue, while "old" (aged) fontina is a hard cheese.
     However, since the cheese is popular, imitation was inevitable.  Derivative fontinas are made in Denmark, obviously, and Sweden, Argentina, the U.S., Quebec, and France.  The Danish version is particularly popular in the U.S. because it's cheaper than the Italian original--roughly $12 per pound versus $15 per pound.  Some cheese purists (apparently they're an actual thing) are critical of the non-Italian derivatives, feeling that they're inferior knockoffs.  The Danish kind is semisoft, and is considered to have a milder odor and taste.  A sweet, nutty flavor, rather than the original's mushroom-y, earthy, woody taste.  Fontina is also considered to be an excellent cooking cheese, due to its melting point.  So it's commonly used for macaroni and cheese, and also in sandwiches.
    The Danish fontina I bought was fairly expensive--$5.28 for 7 ounces (about 200 grams).  It was light yellowish in color, semisoft, with a red wax rind.  It was a Di Bruno Brothers/Celebrity International product, imported by Atalanta Corp. out of New Jersey.  I had it plain, and then on Wheat Thins crackers.  The taste was simple and plain, but good for both ways.  I didn't really pick up on the "nutty" flavoring, but it was still a very respectable cheese.  My father tried some, too, and had the same opinion.  It probably goes without saying that I'll certainly try the original Italian version of fontina if/when I get the chance, to compare and contrast with the Danish kind.  But, I found the knockoff to be more than decent in its own right.
     Now I'd like to throw out some fun and interesting facts about the country of Denmark.  It  rates as being excellent in social mobility, income equality, low levels of corruption, and has led the world in having the "happiest citizens" during 2 years.  It also ranks very well on worker's rights, and has the highest minimum wage, and....correspondingly high personal income tax, and some other taxes.  (For an example of the latter, evidently the tax on a new car is 150%!)  Additionally, it was the first country to completely legalize pornography, back in 1969.  Famous Danes include the brass-nosed astronomer Tycho Brahe (he lost part of his nose in a sword duel), the atomic physicist Niels Bohr, fairly tale writer Hans Christian Andersen, and the Lego toy brick company.  Also, the Bluetooth technical device is named after the second Danish King--Harald Gormsson, also known as "Bluetooth."  It's not conclusively known how he got this nickname--either it was a linguistic corruption of "dark chieftain," or the King didn't practice great dental hygiene.  And, finally, Denmark sounds like a good place for hipsters to visit--a website I checked noted that the Danish people have "a strong sense of irony."



















Saturday, February 25, 2017

Underrated Horror Gems--"Alligator"

     "Alligator" was a movie released in 1980.  It received mixed reviews from critics, and did okay, but not great at the box office (it reportedly made about 6.5 million dollars versus a 1.5 million dollar budget).  I think it's safe to say it's considered a cult film.  (There was a sequel, in 1991, but this one was very poorly regarded.)  Obviously, I enjoy it, and want to discuss it further.
     I'll start with a brief synopsis.  Human body parts are being discovered in the sewage treatment plant in an unnamed Missouri city.  Detective David Madison investigates, and finds a possible link to the local Slade Pharmaceutical company.  Visits to the sewer itself cause further deaths, and proof that the culprit is indeed a giant alligator.  Efforts to corner and kill it result in it rampaging throughout the city.  A noted big game hunter is brought in to combat the beast.  A herpetologist who specializes in snakes and alligators, Dr. Marisa Kendall, also assists Madison.  Can anyone stop the 30 foot long, ravenous monster?
     (SPOILERS AHEAD UNTIL NOTED)  Now I'll include a more detailed, spoiler-rich recap.  The film opens in Florida, at a gator farm.  A young girl buys a pet baby alligator, and brings it home to Missouri.  Her father, though, quickly flies in a rage and flushes it down the toilet.  We then cut to 12 years later, to 1980.  A pet store owner, Gutchel, is grabbing stray dogs and cats (and even some that are missing, owned pets) off the streets and selling them to Slade Pharmaceutical.  There Dr. Hill is conducting illegal, secret experiments on these animals using synthetic hormones, some of which result in extreme growth and raised appetite.  Gutchel is killed by the giant gator in the sewer, while he's dumping some of the illegal experiment test animals' corpses.  Detective Madison's investigation leads him to question the personnel at Slade, and to check out the sewer.  Unfortunately, during this sewer visit Madison watches in horror as a young policeman, Kelly, is fatally attached by the alligator.  Madison is traumatized, even more so because he still harbors guilt about a partner killed with Madison's gun five years before.  Madison and his boss, Chief Clark, meet herpetologist Dr. Marisa Kendall, who's skeptical about his claims.  However, a nasty reporter, Kemp, is slain by the alligator while visiting the sewer, and the film from his recovered camera proves the existence of an immense alligator.  Dozens of well armed police and a SWAT team converge in the sewer, hoping to drive the animal toward an ambush point.  Instead, though, the gator bursts out through the street, attacks a policeman, and then disappears.  The city hires Colonel Brock, a famous big game hunter, and Madison is told to stay out of his way.  Kendall and Madison poke around more at Slade Pharmaceutical, and learn more about their experiments.  In retaliation, the well-connected Slade has Madison fired.  The gator eats a little kid in a swimming pool, and then manages to kill Brock in a confrontation in an alley.  Some police in speedboats engage the alligator in a river, but the end result is a crashed boat, at least one dead policeman, and little to no damage to the animal.  The gator ends up at Slade's mansion while he's hosting an outdoor pre-wedding party for Dr. Hill and Slade's daughter.  The gator kills several people, including the corrupt mayor and Slade (possibly Dr. Hill, too--I couldn't tell).  Madison and Dr. Kendall give chase, and realize the beast will return to its home area in the sewer.  Madison sets a trap using a stolen timer and dynamite.  He narrowly escapes the blast zone via a manhole, as the behemoth is blown to pieces.  But during the last scene we see another baby gator entering the sewer from a toilet flush.
     "Alligator" is part of the "nature run amok" subgenre.  And like many movies since 1975, it's clearly heavily influenced by the blockbuster "Jaws."  There are many similarities between the two.  Both are about a real, dangerous animal that has attained a huge size (although "Alligator's" titular beast is much more exaggerated and unrealistic than the shark in "Jaws").  In both, a cop is leading the investigation, and he's initially not believed.  The attacker is seen only briefly, and quickly, for the first half or so of the movies.  Both films' mayors are ineffectual, interfering, and downright corrupt (even more so in the "Jaws" novel).  The lead character is fired for "pushing too far," in both movies (well, Sheriff Brody wasn't fired until "Jaws 2," but you get what I mean).  "Jaws's" Quint and "Alligator's" Colonel Brock are two peas in a pod--both are experienced hunters, but are also arrogant and apparently saddled with serious drinking problems.  The endings of both films are similar, with the monster being blown up.
     So why do I like this ripoff of a movie so much?  Probably because it's competently done.  Director Lewis Teague does a good job of moving the story along at a good pace, and providing some very tense and disturbing moments.  The cast is good for a low budget horror flick.  Robert Forster is very good as Detective Madison--very flawed, but likable (more on this character later).  His co-star, Robin Riker is similarly appealing as the somewhat nerdy Dr. Kendall, and their romance seems natural, and not "tacked on" as is so often in movies of this type.  Michael Gazzo is appropriately blustery as Chief Clark, and Dean Jagger is a believable scumbag pharmaceutical company owner, kind of an old, bald, version of Martin Shkreli.  Henry Silva's Col. Brock is fun, too.  The smaller roles are also done well, I thought, especially given the movie's budget.  The running joke about Madison's receding hairline (which Robert Forster actually added) is an amusing, humanizing touch to his character.
     In a movie like this, one of the major issues is, how are the special effects?  Clearly, this was long before CGI, so how do the effects hold up?  Surprisingly well.  As I mentioned, the movie wisely uses the "less is more" approach for much of the movie, showing only quick glimpses of the gator, and even some from its point of view.  Basically, four methods were used.  There was a full size, complete animatronic alligator body, which required two strong guys to operate, and it didn't work that well.  The second method was an animatronic alligator head mounted on wheels.  The third was a disembodied tail on a rig, for the tail swatting scenes.  And lastly, they used real, young gators walking around on miniature sets as well.  There are a few dodgy moments (most notably, when the mayor is being attacked the gator head looks pretty fake), but overall the alligator seems real. I'm sure my bias against much of modern CGI is already well known, but suffice it to say, I think the primitive, practical effects of "Alligator" were very effective, and even superior to some modern CGI.
     Moving to the movie's themes, I think the most obvious one is the controversy about laboratory testing on animals.  And the scientist side doesn't come off very well.  Dr. Hill is very unethical, as he buys stolen animals, cruelly cut their larynxes so they can't make much noise, conducts illegal experiments, hidden from the Humane Society, and then just has Gutchel dispose of the bodies, knowing their dumping isn't legit.  Similarly, his boss, Slade, is ridiculously evil--it's not hard to imagine that he'll do anything to get his drugs approved by the FDA, and to make the most profit he can.  Corruption seems to be his middle name, as he has the mayor, and presumably other politicians, in his back pocket.
     On a similar note, there's the old theme about humans damaging their environment, and how nature responds, or even takes revenge.  The alligator is so giant, and hungry, because it's been eating the synthetic hormones made by Slade in the animal testing corpses that Gutchel keeps dumping in its home.  His careless body disposal is clearly affecting the environment.  In reality, agricultural chemical runoff, and improperly disposed medicines have obviously negatively impacted the environment.  (One example is "The Pill" has apparently taken a  huge toll on various species of fish.)  That's one of the fun, satisfying parts of the film, when the gator kills the real villain, Slade, and the mayor, and maybe Dr. Hill.  And how the alligator made it into the sewer in the first place is yet another ecological point, one based, again, in reality.  It's crazy to think that it used to be legal, and somewhat common, in the U.S. to sell baby alligators as pets to the general public, even through the mail.  (Now most states prohibit this, or at least severely limit this practice, but black market internet sales are still depressingly prevalent.)  How could this possibly end well?  Either the poor gator would quickly die when small, or it would grow up enough to be dangerous--what ordinary household could take care of an 8-14 foot alligator, that can potentially live for 80 year?!  Alligators were once seriously endangered in the U.S., and only recovered once humans stopped over-hunting them, and destroying their home ranges, etc.
     The character of David Madison is a very different, and interesting take on the typical male film hero, too.  Obviously most movie cops are tough and decisive--confident, good with their fists and guns.  If anything, they might be too aggressive, and reigned in by bureaucratic red tape when they're trying to solve crimes "their way."  Madison seems to be the antithesis of this.  He's not incompetent--he's a detective, and seems reasonably well respected at work.  But, he's clearly suffering from extreme guilt, PTSD possibly, from losing his partner five years before.  We learn that a crook tricked him by holding a roll of pennies to his head--Madison thought it was a gun, and relinquished his own firearm.  The crook then shot his partner dead.  Madison reveals that he "just froze" at the most important moment of the encounter.  When Kelly is grabbed by the gator, and killed, Madison also reacts in a decidedly non-action hero sort of way.  He burst out of the manhole, yelling about an alligator, and then blacks out, waking up later in a hospital bed.  Screenwriter Sayles stated he intended this idea, and it's clear to see.  The alligator is a metaphor for Madison's personal demons.  He needs to find his courage, and actually conquer his fears.  Even his embarrassment about his receding hairline seems odd for a "hero cop"--would Dirty Harry be embarrassed about his appearance?  But, in this case, these details, to my mind, make Madison a more realistic, and relateable character.  He's neurotic, he experiences guilt, and doubt--he's one of us.
    A few other minor moments struck me as well.  Col. Brock is a bit casually racist, as he refers to his hired African American helpers as "native bearers," and the leader of them as a "local chieftain."  He's also creepily hitting on every women he meets, too, so a class act across the board.  I doubt many viewers mourn his character's passing.  There's also the part when the police photographer hands Madison and Clark the photos taken by Kemp, showing the giant alligator attacking him.  He says, "Imagine clicking away with your camera while that's coming at you."  Kind of an in-joke, something that probably every viewer has said while watching a typical "found footage" horror movie.  Kemp, of course, is shown to be nasty and sleazy in general, as he harps on Madison losing hie former partner, in an incident that was tragic, but an understandable mistake.  He also badgers nurses to reveal personal details about Madison's condition, and manipulates the objects in the sewer to make a better picture.  In the media vs. police confrontation that often takes place, in movies and in real life, this movie's most prominent Fourth Estater is frankly detestable.  We also don't feel very sorry when he's eaten by the alligator.
     (END SPOILERS--SAFE FOR EVERYONE)  Now I'll address another obvious question that "Alligator" watchers probably have.  Sure, a 30 foot long specimen is fiction, but have alligators been found living in sewers?  It's an old story, as rumors about this date back to at least the late 1920's/early 1930's.  The story got a boost from Robert Daley's 1959 book, "The World Beneath the City," about the New York City underground.  In it, he quotes a former New York City Commissioner of Sewers, Teddy May, as confirming that there were indeed alligators, usually albino, found in the Big Apple's core.  Well, May was probably telling a jokey story, or was mistaken.  As Dr. Kendall mentions in the movie, alligators can't live in sewers, especially in Northern climates like New York.  They're too polluted for one.  Also, the lack of sunlight would result in the animals' bones not hardening properly.  And then there's the cold.  NYC's winters would be way too much for a tropical animal--among other things, they can't digest food in the cold temperatures.  The urban myth is also likely based on a single incident from 1935.  Some kids found an 8 foot alligator in an East Harlem sewer.  It's believed to have swam up the Harlem River after falling off a steamship.  Whatever the source, it clearly wasn't in the sewer long, and didn't grow up there.  Thomas Pynchon's reference to the "sewer gators"story in his 1963 novel "V" may have further propagated the myth.  Periodically alligators have been found in sewers in Southern U.S. cities, but again, obviously this was temporary--these animals would always vastly prefer their natural environment for a home.
     As I mentioned, this little independent monster flick ended up with a surprisingly talented cast and crew.  Star Robert Forster has had a long movie career.  Highlights include "Medium Cool" (1969), "The Black Hole" (1979), "The Delta Force" (1986), "Jackie Brown" (1997), (for which he was Oscar-nominated), "Mulholland Drive" (2001), and "The Descendants" (2011).  Dr. Marisa Kendall portrayer Robin Riker has kept busy, mostly on television--"Get a Life" (1990-2), "The Bold and the Beautiful" (2008-10), and guest roles on "NCIS," "Cold Case," and "Bones."  Michael Gazzo (Chief Clark) was in "On the Waterfront" (1954), "Black Sunday" (1974), "Sudden Impact" (1983), and "Last Action Hero" (1993) before his death in 1995.  He's best known for being a playwright and for appearing in an Oscar-nominated role as Frank Pentangeli in "The Godfather II" (1974).  Dean Jagger (Slade) also had a long and distinguished career before his death in 1991.  Among others, he was in "Revolt of the Zombies" (1936), "Twelve O'clock High" (1949) (for which he won an Academy Award), "The Robe" (1953), "Vanishing Point" (1971) and "Game of Death" (1978).  Luke Gutchel portrayer Sydney Lassick is most known for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975), "History of the World Part 1" (1981), and "Shakes the Clown" (1992).  Slimy Colonel Brock was played by Henry Silva, best known for "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962), "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" (1979), "Chained Heat" (1983) and "Ocean's Eleven" (2001).  "Lolita" (1962) star Sue Lyon had a brief role in "Alligator" as a television news reporter.  Stuntman/actor Kane Hodder, best known for playing killer Jason Voorhees several times in the "Friday the 13th" movie series, got an early role playing the alligator, stuffed into the full size animatronic body.  Finally, actor Bryan Cranston, best known for being Walter White in the television series "Breaking Bad," as well as appearing several times on "Seinfeld," and in movies such as "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), "Little Miss Sunshine" (2006), "Argo" (2012), and "Godzilla" (2014) had a very early, tiny part on the "Alligator" production crew.  As he put it in his book, he was the special effect's assistant's assistant's assistant, in charge of the alligator's guts.  Director Lewis Teague went on to helm movies like "Cujo" (1983), "Cat's Eye" (1985), and "Navy Seals" (1990).  Writer John Sayles worked on the screenplays for "Piranha" (1979), "The Howling" (1981), and "Apollo 13" (1996), as well as writing and directing "Return of the Secaucus Seven" (1980), "Matewan" (1987), "Passion Fish" (1992) (nominated for an Oscar), "Lone Star" (1996) (also Oscar-nominated), and "Go for Sisters" (2013).  Additionally, while set in the American Midwest, the movie was filmed in Southern California, mostly around Los Angeles and Pasadena.  Many of the sewer scenes were shot in the Los Angeles River, which has been used in many films, including "Them" (1954), "It's Alive" (1974), "Chinatown" (1974), the racing scene from "Grease" (1978), the great motorcycle/truck chase scene from "Terminator 2" (1991), and television's "Fear the Walking Dead."
     Therefore, in closing, "Alligator" was a fun, intense movie, and I think it still holds up.  Fans of nature run amok movies should give it a look.










































































































































Saturday, February 18, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Japanese Company Snacks Made in Thailand, and Brief Writing News

     I realize the title of this post is a little clunky, but that's the situation here.  I hurriedly grabbed two bags of snacks that both read, "Product of Thailand."  However, when I looked up the products online, I learned that the manufacturing companies was actually Japanese.  The two snacks I tried were Shirakiku nori make arare (or rice crackers with seaweed) and Calbee baked shrimp chips.
     Both companies had almost ridiculously detailed websites.  Shirakiku is actually a private brand of products made by Wismettac Asian Foods, Inc.  The company, which has had some name changes, was founded in 1912.  They produce a whole host of food items--frozen seafood, ramen, fruits and vegetables, and both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages.  Also some non-edible food products, like chopsticks, bento boxes, and sushi trays.  This Kobe, Japan based company boasted sales of 1.2 billion in 2015, and employs over 1200 people worldwide.  Additionally, their Frequently Asked Questions section on the website answers the query, "Is it safe to eat products from Japan after a nuclear power plant accident?"  (The short answer is apparently "yes," as government agencies from Japan, the U.S., and Canada inspect and clear their food products.)
     Calbee is a slightly newer company, dating back to 1949.  This company specializes in potato-based snacks, other veggie snacks, and granola-type cereals.  Among other things, their website mentions that they have an impressive 99.9% recycling rate.  Also that they employ 3728 employees (as of February 17, 2017 I guess--I can't believe how exact they are!)  Calbee also received awards in 2014 and 2016 for being proactive about promoting female employees and staff.  As for marketing, Calbee both sponsors a car racing team and  the Tiger and Bunny anime.  Finally, they currently are owned by 25,730 shareholders.  (Sorry, I know the average reader almost certainly doesn't care about this, but I'm amused by the precise statistics on their public website.)
     As it turns out, I had the seaweed rice crackers before, years ago, although it might have been a different company's version.  Shirakiku's crackers were small, yellowish-brown rods that were wrapped in seaweed.  Texture-wise, they were very crunchy.  The taste was very good.  Since I'm a fan of seaweed in general (see December 12, 2013 post for more information) it's not too surprising that I liked a rice cracker wrapped in it.  Quite a respectable snack.  I can heartily recommend the Shirakiku nori make arare.
    The Calbee shrimp chips were also rod shaped, with ribs on them.  Their yellow chips were about 2 inches (about 5 cm.) long.  They're made from wheat flour, palm oil, shrimp, corn and tapioca starches, sugar, salt, and leavening (which contains various chemicals, including the dreaded-by-some MSG).  Like the seaweed crackers they were crunchy.  And once again, they were quite tasty.  Their shrimp flavor was detectable, but not too overpowering.  I enjoyed these a lot, and will definitely buy them again when I get the chance (both of these snacks came from a Wegman's supermarket).
     Overall, then, it was a good week's haul--both snacks were clearly worth it.
     Switching tracks, I recently got an acceptance from a horror magazine called DeadLights.  It's for a non-fiction piece.  We should start editing very soon, and the issue is due out this April.  More details to follow.





















Saturday, February 11, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Polish Juice Drinks

     A nearby Wegman's grocery in Southeast Pennsylvania paid off again.  Among other treasures, their foreign food aisle yielded up a couple of Polish juice (soft) drinks.  I quickly snapped them up.
     Normally this is the paragraph where I would give a brief background about the company that made the products I was trying.  Alas, I can't really do this in a very detailed way today.  I looked up the company in question, Vavel, and couldn't find much.  A few other products, but that's about it.  So, in addition to fruit drinks, Vavel makes a variety of jams, marinated vegetables, pickles, sauerkraut, and at least one kind of cream fudge.  As for the juice drinks, other than the two I tried, the carrot and black currant flavors, they also make tomato and cherry versions.
     Carrots are one of the older vegetables that people have domesticated and cultivated.  They are believed to have first been grown in Iran and Afghanistan by at least 5000 years ago.  Their original colors were red, yellow, and purple, with the now common orange kind being a relatively recent development, about 400 years old.  They're probably most renowned for being an excellent source of the nutrient beta-carotene, which actually gets part of its name from carrots.  However, one claim about carrot's health benefits is now known to be false.  During World War II, English Royal Air Force pilots and crew seemed to be doing unusually well during air fights at night.  The reason for this was said to be their diet heavy on carrots.  Which, it turns out, is a wild exaggeration.  Vitamin A (which is also present in carrots) does help a person's vision if their diet is deficient, but it won't make a normal person see almost supernaturally well at night.  The RAF's real secret was that they'd developed radar, but didn't want to admit this, for obvious reasons.  Also, if a person eats huge amounts of carrots (or other beta-carotene rich foods) their skin may turn orange.  It's called, carotenodermy, and is usually harmless, although surely off-putting to witnesses.
     Black currant is a plant, and correspondingly, an edible berry of this plant.  They are thought to have first been cultivated in the 11th century, in Russia.  Now they can be found across Northern and Central Europe and Asia.  Raising them was actually banned in the U.S. in the early 1900's, because they're a vector for a type of fungus that harmed the American logging industry.  The federal ban was lifted in 1966.  Since then, some states have legalized it again.  The berries themselves are considered to have a very strong and tart taste.  As such, they're usually not eaten raw, but are made into juice additives, jams, sauces, or dessert additives to things like cheesecake, yogurts, and ice cream.  The British sometimes use them in a couple of beer cocktails (see August 31, 2014 post for more information on these).  A lager 'n' black is black currant juice mixed into that type of beer, and a "black 'n' black" is the juice in a stout.
     Also, on a personal note, if I haven't already made it clear in past posts, I despise carrots.  Along with hot beverages, soups, and lima beans, I hate carrots with every cell of my body.  It drives me crazy when salads or entrees have carrot shavings scattered within them.  I'm sure I've embarrassed many dining companions at restaurants when I painstakingly try to remove every last carrot shred.  But, I was willing to "take one for the team," so to speak, for the purposes of this post.
     On that note, let's get to the drinks.  Each bottle was a robust 750 milliliters, or 25.36 ounces.  The carrot drink was made with 35% juice, while the other one was made up of 25% black currant juice.  Each was fairly high in calories--the carrot kind was 270 calories for the entire bottle, and the black currant one was 390.  The carrot drink was orange in color, of course, and had an unpleasant odor.  The taste was a bit sweeter than a regular carrot, presumably due to the presence of sugar and fructose/glucose syrup in it.  But I thought it was pretty bad.  I did manage to choke down 8 ounces of it, so it was barely drinkable.  In damning it with faint praise, it was not literally vomit-inducing, as I feared.  On the other hand, I won't have this one again, unless someone's life literally depends on it.  (And I'd probably still have to think long and hard about it.)  Fortunately, the black currant one was much better.  It was purple, and didn't have much of a smell either way.  It was tart, as advertised, but still pretty good.  I'm guessing the added sweeteners cut the black currant's tartness enough.  So, for this category there were no surprises.  I hated the carrot one, and enjoyed the black currant one.
     Finally, to throw out some food/beverage trivia, I learned that vodka is thought to have been invented in Poland, sometime in the 8th century.  And, more definitively, bagels also hail from Poland originally.  Jewish communities there created them in the early 1600's or so.
   













   






















Saturday, February 4, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Pepino Melons

     First off, the name is a little strange.  "Pepino" is Spanish for "cucumber."  Although some claim the flavor of this fruit is cucumber-like, they're not related to cucumbers.  They are sometimes called pepino dulce ("sweet cucumber" in Spanish) to differentiate them from regular cucumbers.  Then there's the second part of the name.  While they look somewhat like small melons, kind of, and are thought to taste like some varieties, they're only very distantly related to them.  Pepinos are actually part of the nightshade family, so they're closely related to tomatoes and eggplant.  Confused yet?  So am I.
     Moving on, the pepino is native to the Andes region, in Chile, Peru, and Columbia.  As such, they're commonly eaten in these countries, along with Ecuador and Bolivia.  They're also grown a bit in other areas with hot enough environments, like California, Australia, New Zealand, Spain, Israel, and Kenya.  They don't travel very well, so they're not as popular world wide.  Their domestication is a mystery, other than their birth area.  They're also not found growing in the wild.
     The pepino is sometimes classified as a "super fruit," as it has significant amounts of Vitamins C, K, A, and B, as well as protein, iron, fiber, and potassium.  It's also alleged to help battle liver disease and strokes, and aid in stamina and cardiovascular health.  But, as usual, these affects haven't been conclusively proven.  (Incidentally, I'm getting tired of writing this--for a change, I'd like to post about an exotic that has definite, scientifically proven medical benefits.)
     The most common way to eat a pepino is raw, cut open, and scooped out with a spoon.  Occasionally folks cook them up with honey, or sugar.  Although the whole thing is edible, most people don't eat the skin, as it's tough and unpalatable.  So mostly it's the pulp and seeds that are consumed.
     The one I got was about fist sized--about 4 inches (about 10 cm.) long, about 3 inches (about 7.5 cm.) wide, with a tear drop shape.  The outer rind was greenish/whitish/yellowish, with purple racing stripes running down it.  I did the normal method, and just cut it open and had at it.  The interior pulp was yellowish-orange, with a cavity for the seeds.  The texture reminded me of melons.  The taste was reminiscent of a honeydew melon.  Only weaker--the flavor was extremely bland.  I didn't detect any cucumber-like hints.  Overall, it didn't taste bad, but it didn't seem worth the $3.99 I paid for it.  I'm glad I got to try this somewhat rare fruit, but it wasn't very impressive.












Saturday, January 28, 2017

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Taco Bell's Affront to the Almighty

     Ha!  I'm just being dramatic, of course.  I'm referring to Taco Bell's newest creation, that was just rolled out nationwide (in the U.S.) two days ago--the Naked Chicken Chalupa.  Big deal, you may be saying, another chalupa--who cares?  Well, this one is quite different.  Instead of a flour or corn-based outer shell, this one consists of pressed fried chicken.  Or, essentially, the Taco Bell version of KFC's Double Down sandwich, which I discussed in detail in my May 8, 2014 post.
     Unlike KFC, though, I've always liked Taco Bell, albeit in a "guilty pleasure" sort of way.  It started back in my high school days, when my friends and I would drive to the nearby one during lunch period (which was kind of tight, time-wise, as our school periods were only 42.5 minutes long).  Up through the present, Taco Bell and the harder to find White Castle are my favorite fast food joints.  I realize that Taco Bell, like most fast food places, utilize cheap, low-grade food.  The 2000 GMO corn recall, and the furor over the "pink slime" beef in 2012 are just two examples of this, shall we say, relaxed attitude to using the highest quality ingredients.  I further realize that Taco Bell is a perverted, American-ized approximation of authentic Mexican food.  (The restaurant chain has opened up stores in Mexico on two occasions, but both closed down quickly, due to lack of sales.  Evidently, and reasonably, Mexicans weren't big fans of consuming a watered-down, inauthentic copy of their traditional cuisine.)  But, even with these sins admitted, I still enjoy it.  I guess it's a cultural example of me being an ugly American.  So my friends and I jokingly referred to it as "Taco Smell" and "Taco Hell," but many of us were still regular customers.
     Taco Bell was started by a man named, of all things, Glen Bell.  Bell started off with a hot dog stand, then expanded into a hamburger and hot dog stand, and finally switched to a taco stand.  As he grew more successful, he opened up restaurants, called Taco Tias, then El Taco, then Taco Bell in the early 1960's.  Bell sold the chain to PepsiCo in 1978, for over 120 million dollars.  It's become a giant chain, with franchises around the world.
     But back to the focus of this piece.  I picked up my Naked Chicken Chalupa at around lunch time on its opening day.  Structurally it looked like a taco, although it came with a cardboard stand to help keep its innards contained.  Inside the fried chicken "shell" was lettuce, onions, tomatoes, shredded cheese, and an avocado sauce.  As so frequently happens when I make fun of a food beforehand, the result was very good.  I can't say it tasted like a regular taco or chalupa, but its distinct flavor was still impressive.  I finished it eagerly, and I think I will buy this again.  Keep in mind though, this product is listed as being available for a limited time.  So, as with the Double Down, laugh at it if you want, but the weird mutant food item was a pleasing dining experience.  (I was amused, but not very surprised to learn that the authentic Mexican chalupa, named after a type of boat, is very different from what Taco Bell calls a chalupa.)
     Finally, Taco Bell had an advertising campaign that has the odd distinction of being popular, but which resulted in lower (or at least not markedly increased) sales, much like the Energizer Battery Bunny commercials.  The Taco Bell chihuahua, who appeared in many ads saying, "Yo quiero Taco Bell!" ("I want Taco Bell" in Spanish) in the late 1990's/early 2000's, received a lot of attention, and acclaim.  However, sales actually decreased afterwards.  Advertising experts postulated that people may have thought that the dog was cute, and funny, but they may have then associated Taco Bell's products with dog food, which wasn't that appetizing!  (On a sad note, that dog from the commercials, Gidget, passed away in 2009.)
     Oh, and reportedly KFC is currently selling another unholy chicken abomination in the Far East, called a Chizza.  This is a "pizza" which is sauce, cheese, and toppings on a "dough" made of fried chicken.  I can't wait to try this one.