I've done a couple of posts about canned meats (November 8, 2013 and December 23, 2017), but it's time for another one. Today's type will be two kinds of canned corned beef, both of which originated in Brazil. The companies involved were GraceKennedy Limited and Goya. And these were both bought at the superlative Wegman's supermarket once again.
The most obvious question about corned beef is, "Why this name? The ingredients include cooked beef and salt, but there's no corn to be found." There are two possible linguistic explanations. First, the type of salt traditionally used to cure the beef was larger grained rock salt. The Old English word for "particles" or "grains" was "corns," so there we go. Secondly, the original secondary preservative of corned beef was saltpeter, aka potassium nitrate. So the "particles" or "grains" may have referred to the pieces of potassium nitrate used. Whichever is true, it is clearly a bit confusing, kind of like the whole "Grape Nuts" situation.* Moving on, minced and canned corned beef was nicknamed "bully beef" by the English, to approximated the French word for boiled ("boulli"). And in Israel corned beef is sometimes known as "loof," which is an abbreviation of "meatloaf." Finally, traditional corned beef has a pink color, from the sodium nitrate (or formerly, the potassium nitrate) used to help preserve it. If beef is cured using only salt, and not with nitrates, it's a gray color. This is nicknamed "New England corned beef," because I assume it was common in this region. (Maybe they lacked nitrates?)
Adding salt to preserve meat is obviously ancient, as it was one of the very few means to ensure that meat would keep safely. However, the type of dish we're talking about, with the salt and nitrates, didn't become an industry until much later, until the 1600's or so. Ireland in particular became a leader in manufacturing and distributing corned beef, mainly in the cities of Dublin, Belfast, and Cork. They used local cattle, and got their (evidently specialized) salt from Spain, Portugal, and southwest France. Much of this corned beef was consumed by French and English colonists in the New World, and their slaves. It was also a common food for the military, especially the navy, since it preserved so well. Since it was largely eaten by common or poor folks, its reputation suffered. It also contributed to some serious problems in Ireland. The huge corned beef packing industry there meant that most of the best farmland in Ireland was then used for cow pastures. Consequently the poor farmers were pushed out to areas with lower quality soils, where about the only thing that would grow was potatoes. Meaning when the potato crop was devastated by blight and mold during the Potato Famine from 1845-49, many more people died from starvation and disease. (During this time, the corned beef was mainly an export, too expensive for most of the Irish.) The eventual abolition of slavery in the 1800's hurt the corned beef industry. But, it still lingers on. South America is an especially big producer of it since. Brazil, for example, provides 80% of the world's supply of canned corned beef. Currently corned beef in the U.S. is known as a traditional Irish dish. Which is ironic, since as was just mentioned, it wasn't very popular, or feasible, for the actual Irish in Ireland to eat. It's more accurate to say it's a common part of Irish American cuisine. Also, corned beef's reputation has improved over the centuries, since it's not mainly the food for the poor, slaves, and common soldiers. Jewish Americans have particularly embraced it, too. Modern popular ways to eat it include the Reuben sandwich (grilled corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing on rye bread) and as a hash with eggs as a breakfast food. The lunch meat pastrami is simply corned beef which has been smoked.
As for the companies that made the corned beef I tried, GraceKennedy dates back to 1922. A man named Dr. John J. Grace was working for a subsidiary of W. R. Grace & Co. in Kingston, Jamaica. When the company decided to divest, John Grace, in collaboration with Fred Kennedy, founded GraceKennedy Limited. Initially a wharf operating and small trading company, the firm flourished over the years. Now it's giant, and is involved in banking, remittances, financial services, insurance, hardware, food, and food processing. It has over 60 subsidiaries, and operates across the Caribbean, North and Central America, and the U.K. Other food products handled include canned fruits and vegetables, canned fish, frozen meat, jams and jellies, milk and fruit juices, oils and margarine, snacks, rice and pasta, sauces and condiments, soups, and seasonings. Or, essentially, all kinds of food. The ackees I posted about on January 16, 2014 were a GraceKennedy product as well. Goya is another huge company. I've already covered more of their history in my post on Brazilian cookies (see my May 25, 2016 post), but basically, they were started in 1936 by Prudencio Unanue Ortiz. The Unanue family still owns and operates the billion dollar firm. The headquarters of Goya are in my home state, New Jersey.
1) Goya corned beef: Product of Brazil, came in a 12 ounce (340 gram) can. Ingredients were cooked beef, salt, sugar, and sodium nitrate. Beef was a pinkish color, with some whitish streaks here and there. Decent odor. Texture was very soft, and definitely spreadable. I had some plain, some with Taco Bell hot sauce, and some with ketchup. The basic taste was slightly salty, but solid. It was improved with the Taco Bell sauce, and especially with the ketchup.
2) GraceKennedy corned beef: Also from Brazil, and came in the same size, and shaped can. Ingredients, color, texture, and odor were all identical to the Goya kind. I ate it in the same ways as the other one. And once again, plain was okay, with Taco Bell sauce was better, and with ketchup was the best. The condiments cut the saltiness effectively. Other tasters liked this one better than the Goya, and I did too, but I thought the difference was minute. (In fact, in a blind taste test I might have been fooled.)
Overall this was a very pleasant surprise. In my life I've tried corned beef before, and didn't like it. I thought it was way too salty, and not very good. So, either my tastes have changed a bit, or else I had inferior corned beef, or it was prepared in a way I didn't like. Therefore, I definitely plan on having this again, and especially will try (re-try?) a Reuben sandwich, and corned beef hash and eggs. I should also mention that canned corned beef is an excellent Apocalypse food, since it keeps very long (my cans were good for another 4 years!), and the cans had their own old fashioned metal key and tab opening system (which I wasn't able to really work, and used a can opener instead, but if I had no opener it presumably would have worked eventually).
* At the risk of possibly repeating myself, in college I was curious enough about the name of Grape Nuts cereal to call the Questions/Comments phone number listed on the box. I was informed that the "grape" part is because dextrose (which is in the cereal) was originally called "grape sugar." And while there are no nuts in the cereal, creator C.W. Post thought it nevertheless had a nutty flavor. The woman I talked to wanted my name and address, too. I readily complied, thinking I would get a free sample box, or a logo-ed T-shirt or something. Ultimately I received nothing. Perhaps my information was given to the FBI, and put in their files on weirdos who call cereal company hotlines.
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Few Wacky Drinks
This week's post features a couple of mundane edibles used in odd ways, as weirdo beverages. Specifically, a beet juice energy drink and two kinds of "sipping vinegar." The beet one is part of the Juice Performer line from CAJ Foods Products, Inc., and the vinegar drinks are from Vermont Village.
I doubt there are many readers who have never eaten beets in their life. This plant is a very common food, both its stems and leaves (the greens), and the taproot, the usually reddish bulb which is typically called the beet itself. The young greens are eaten raw, in salads, and the older greens are usually cooked, like spinach. The taproot, is eaten raw, boiled, roasted, or pickled. Or in soups, like borscht. They're also a common spiced side dish in Indian cuisine. And I was surprised to personally learn that in Australia they're regularly put on burgers in fast food restaurants. The beet itself is usually red, although it can be yellow or orangish, too. The color is so intense that beets are sometimes used as a food coloring, to "punch up" the hues of jams, jellies, sauces, ice cream, cereals, and even tomato paste. But, being featured as a beverage is still pretty rare. I've read it is sometimes made into a wine, but I think this is even rarer still.
The effects of beets are a bit contested. Nutritionally they're decent sources of folate (27% of the U.S. daily recommended allowance), and manganese (16%), and they have small amounts of B vitamins, vitamin C, iron, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, and zinc. Historically, though, people thought that they had medicinal uses, such as for treatment of blood and digestive disorders. Currently, many folks claim that beets can increase blood flow, lower blood pressure, and help people exercise longer. And that they may be anti-inflammatories, and aid in digestion, brain function, weight loss, and even cancer-fighting. The Beet Performer can I drank says the nitrates in beets, "quickly deliver oxygen to your muscles." and, "aid in cardiovascular wellness with their heart-healthy vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants." However, as so frequently occurs, this is then followed by the asterisked, "This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease." So I'm sure beets are a pretty healthy consumable, but if you do have any of the ailments mentioned earlier, don't go throwing out your medicines in favor of beets just yet.
As far as the company that makes the Juice Performers, CAJ (based in Indiana in the U.S.), the website and online information about it was pretty scarce. Other variants of the drink line are a 100% beet juice one (the kind I had was a combo of beet and passion fruit juice in undisclosed percentages), and a tart cherry flavor. The company also markets the Biotta drink brand, which is also various kinds of fruit and vegetable juices. Some of Biotta's flavors include beet again, carrot, elderberry, celery, cranberry, cherry, and even sauerkraut. Biotta was begun in 1934 by a Swiss man named Dr. Hugo Brandenberger, and they started making juices in 1957. No details were given on if CAJ bought Biotta out, or when, or if they're just licensed to distribute Biotta products. And, the label of the drink I got says it was made in Austria, but no further detail was provided.
Apple cider vinegar is made from, obviously, apple juice, which has had yeast added to ferment it, and then bacteria turns it into acetic acid. It's regularly used in salad dressings, chutneys, and to "pickle" many sorts of vegetables and fruit. The nutrients in vinegar are almost none--it has 1% of the calcium you need, plus 2% iron, 1% magnesium, 1% phosphorus, and 2% potassium. However, like beets, many folks, since as along ago as 3300 B.C., have thought that apple cider vinegar, and vinegar in general, has good medicinal properties. Just online currently I read about how apple cider vinegar can help with intestinal gas, heartburn, weight loss, hair and skin care, blood sugar regulation, cholesterol, gut bacteria, and even cancer. It's also said to treat warts, poison ivy rashes, seasonal allergies, and can even kill fleas and pests. It's even billed as being an effective deodorant in a pinch! But there's more. By coincidence, the other day in the mail there was an advertisement for a book called, "Vinegar: The King of All Cures!" by Jerry Baker. Aside from claims that vinegar can effectively clean things, and the usual meal recipes, it made some very bold health boasts. Most notably, it said that if you drink (famous 19th century historical figure) Sam Houston's Vinegar Texas Tonic, made from various concentrations of grape juice, apple juice, and apple cider vinegar, "you'll live whip-smart and pain-free your whole life....". There's also a whole page of testimonials from (alleged) satisfied customers. Sadly modern science is much more skeptical of all of these health claims, and the evidence for these is lacking, even more so than with the beets. Once again, apple cider vinegar, and vinegar in general, has its uses, such as an ingredient in many foods, and food preparation, but to think that it's some miracle substance is unfounded, and let's face it, absurd. Think how much cheaper and easier it would be if simply quaffing some vinegar could make everyone intelligent, or ensure that nobody ever had to suffer from any pain again.
Moving on, according to the Vermont Village website, the company employs about 35 people, but their products are sold in 12,000 stores nationwide. It started as a co-op in the 1970's, and was incorporated as the Village Cannery of Vermont in 1995. Initially the firm sold mostly organic canned foods, but now they sell vinegar products, applesauce, and apple butter. Their products are proudly unpasteurized, almost completely organic (since they add Vitamin C for processing, legally they're slightly less than 100% organic), kosher, and allergen-free. (Well, unless you're allergic to apples, I guess!) The website was also oddly nonspecific about who exactly owns and runs the company, or who's a major shareholder, even. They're referred to as "moms and dads," and "gourmet chefs." So it appears that they're rather shy.
1) Beet Performer, Endurance-Enhancing Body Fuel, beet juice with passion fruit juice flavor: Came in a 8.4 ounce (250 mL) can. Ingredients were just lacto-fermented beet juice and passion fruit juice. Only one lame pun on the label--"BEET them to the punch." Listed nutrients included 3 grams of protein, 24 grams of sugar, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15% potassium, and 15% magnesium. Had mine chilled, as directed, and as I prefer all my beverages. The color, not shockingly was an intense blood red. It was pretty bad. I should say that I don't like beets in general, so the odds of me enjoying this were low. The odor was unpleasant, too, and the drink had a negative aftertaste to go with the crappy before and during tastes. It was hard to finish. And I can only imagine how terrible the 100% beet juice kind must taste.
2) Vermont Village Sipping Vinegar, ginger and honey flavor: Ingredients were raw, organic, unfiltered apple cider vinegar, organic honey, and organic ginger. Bottle was 236 gram/8 ounces. Two serving suggestions were to mix it with 8 ounces of either water or seltzer. Not being big on seltzer, I went with the former, and chilled it first. Its color was yellowish-brown. The odor was like regular vinegar--strong and pungent. It was like drinking vinegar, only slightly diluted. Or, in other words, not good at all--unpleasantly sour and astringent. I was barely able to finish this small amount. I didn't really detect any honey or ginger flavors, either. It makes me wonder whether anyone really likes this as a beverage, or if just about all consumers just choke it down because they think it's good for them.
3) Vermont Village Sipping Vinegar, cranberry and honey flavor: Ingredients were the same as the other, only substituting organic cranberries for the ginger. Bottle was the same size, too. Color of this one was more reddish-brown, evidently from the cranberries. This flavor was maybe slightly more palatable than the other, or, to put it more accurately, slightly less unpalatable. But still not a tasty experience at all. And once again the flavor additives weren't detectable.
So, obviously I wasn't a fan of any of these, and won't be buying them again. Especially because I find their alleged health benefits to be very alleged, and not real. I did experience one common side effect from the beet one, too. The results of a subsequent trip to the restroom were somewhat alarming, resembling the final scenes of the movies "Carrie" or "Dead-Alive." (That's called beeturia, and it is harmless.) Also, be aware that consumption of apple cider vinegar can cause tooth decay or throat issues, since it's so acidic, and it can also lower a person's potassium levels and cause problems with blood sugar regulation. Despite what Sam Houston probably asserted, I suppose.
I doubt there are many readers who have never eaten beets in their life. This plant is a very common food, both its stems and leaves (the greens), and the taproot, the usually reddish bulb which is typically called the beet itself. The young greens are eaten raw, in salads, and the older greens are usually cooked, like spinach. The taproot, is eaten raw, boiled, roasted, or pickled. Or in soups, like borscht. They're also a common spiced side dish in Indian cuisine. And I was surprised to personally learn that in Australia they're regularly put on burgers in fast food restaurants. The beet itself is usually red, although it can be yellow or orangish, too. The color is so intense that beets are sometimes used as a food coloring, to "punch up" the hues of jams, jellies, sauces, ice cream, cereals, and even tomato paste. But, being featured as a beverage is still pretty rare. I've read it is sometimes made into a wine, but I think this is even rarer still.
The effects of beets are a bit contested. Nutritionally they're decent sources of folate (27% of the U.S. daily recommended allowance), and manganese (16%), and they have small amounts of B vitamins, vitamin C, iron, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, and zinc. Historically, though, people thought that they had medicinal uses, such as for treatment of blood and digestive disorders. Currently, many folks claim that beets can increase blood flow, lower blood pressure, and help people exercise longer. And that they may be anti-inflammatories, and aid in digestion, brain function, weight loss, and even cancer-fighting. The Beet Performer can I drank says the nitrates in beets, "quickly deliver oxygen to your muscles." and, "aid in cardiovascular wellness with their heart-healthy vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants." However, as so frequently occurs, this is then followed by the asterisked, "This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease." So I'm sure beets are a pretty healthy consumable, but if you do have any of the ailments mentioned earlier, don't go throwing out your medicines in favor of beets just yet.
As far as the company that makes the Juice Performers, CAJ (based in Indiana in the U.S.), the website and online information about it was pretty scarce. Other variants of the drink line are a 100% beet juice one (the kind I had was a combo of beet and passion fruit juice in undisclosed percentages), and a tart cherry flavor. The company also markets the Biotta drink brand, which is also various kinds of fruit and vegetable juices. Some of Biotta's flavors include beet again, carrot, elderberry, celery, cranberry, cherry, and even sauerkraut. Biotta was begun in 1934 by a Swiss man named Dr. Hugo Brandenberger, and they started making juices in 1957. No details were given on if CAJ bought Biotta out, or when, or if they're just licensed to distribute Biotta products. And, the label of the drink I got says it was made in Austria, but no further detail was provided.
Apple cider vinegar is made from, obviously, apple juice, which has had yeast added to ferment it, and then bacteria turns it into acetic acid. It's regularly used in salad dressings, chutneys, and to "pickle" many sorts of vegetables and fruit. The nutrients in vinegar are almost none--it has 1% of the calcium you need, plus 2% iron, 1% magnesium, 1% phosphorus, and 2% potassium. However, like beets, many folks, since as along ago as 3300 B.C., have thought that apple cider vinegar, and vinegar in general, has good medicinal properties. Just online currently I read about how apple cider vinegar can help with intestinal gas, heartburn, weight loss, hair and skin care, blood sugar regulation, cholesterol, gut bacteria, and even cancer. It's also said to treat warts, poison ivy rashes, seasonal allergies, and can even kill fleas and pests. It's even billed as being an effective deodorant in a pinch! But there's more. By coincidence, the other day in the mail there was an advertisement for a book called, "Vinegar: The King of All Cures!" by Jerry Baker. Aside from claims that vinegar can effectively clean things, and the usual meal recipes, it made some very bold health boasts. Most notably, it said that if you drink (famous 19th century historical figure) Sam Houston's Vinegar Texas Tonic, made from various concentrations of grape juice, apple juice, and apple cider vinegar, "you'll live whip-smart and pain-free your whole life....". There's also a whole page of testimonials from (alleged) satisfied customers. Sadly modern science is much more skeptical of all of these health claims, and the evidence for these is lacking, even more so than with the beets. Once again, apple cider vinegar, and vinegar in general, has its uses, such as an ingredient in many foods, and food preparation, but to think that it's some miracle substance is unfounded, and let's face it, absurd. Think how much cheaper and easier it would be if simply quaffing some vinegar could make everyone intelligent, or ensure that nobody ever had to suffer from any pain again.
Moving on, according to the Vermont Village website, the company employs about 35 people, but their products are sold in 12,000 stores nationwide. It started as a co-op in the 1970's, and was incorporated as the Village Cannery of Vermont in 1995. Initially the firm sold mostly organic canned foods, but now they sell vinegar products, applesauce, and apple butter. Their products are proudly unpasteurized, almost completely organic (since they add Vitamin C for processing, legally they're slightly less than 100% organic), kosher, and allergen-free. (Well, unless you're allergic to apples, I guess!) The website was also oddly nonspecific about who exactly owns and runs the company, or who's a major shareholder, even. They're referred to as "moms and dads," and "gourmet chefs." So it appears that they're rather shy.
1) Beet Performer, Endurance-Enhancing Body Fuel, beet juice with passion fruit juice flavor: Came in a 8.4 ounce (250 mL) can. Ingredients were just lacto-fermented beet juice and passion fruit juice. Only one lame pun on the label--"BEET them to the punch." Listed nutrients included 3 grams of protein, 24 grams of sugar, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15% potassium, and 15% magnesium. Had mine chilled, as directed, and as I prefer all my beverages. The color, not shockingly was an intense blood red. It was pretty bad. I should say that I don't like beets in general, so the odds of me enjoying this were low. The odor was unpleasant, too, and the drink had a negative aftertaste to go with the crappy before and during tastes. It was hard to finish. And I can only imagine how terrible the 100% beet juice kind must taste.
2) Vermont Village Sipping Vinegar, ginger and honey flavor: Ingredients were raw, organic, unfiltered apple cider vinegar, organic honey, and organic ginger. Bottle was 236 gram/8 ounces. Two serving suggestions were to mix it with 8 ounces of either water or seltzer. Not being big on seltzer, I went with the former, and chilled it first. Its color was yellowish-brown. The odor was like regular vinegar--strong and pungent. It was like drinking vinegar, only slightly diluted. Or, in other words, not good at all--unpleasantly sour and astringent. I was barely able to finish this small amount. I didn't really detect any honey or ginger flavors, either. It makes me wonder whether anyone really likes this as a beverage, or if just about all consumers just choke it down because they think it's good for them.
3) Vermont Village Sipping Vinegar, cranberry and honey flavor: Ingredients were the same as the other, only substituting organic cranberries for the ginger. Bottle was the same size, too. Color of this one was more reddish-brown, evidently from the cranberries. This flavor was maybe slightly more palatable than the other, or, to put it more accurately, slightly less unpalatable. But still not a tasty experience at all. And once again the flavor additives weren't detectable.
So, obviously I wasn't a fan of any of these, and won't be buying them again. Especially because I find their alleged health benefits to be very alleged, and not real. I did experience one common side effect from the beet one, too. The results of a subsequent trip to the restroom were somewhat alarming, resembling the final scenes of the movies "Carrie" or "Dead-Alive." (That's called beeturia, and it is harmless.) Also, be aware that consumption of apple cider vinegar can cause tooth decay or throat issues, since it's so acidic, and it can also lower a person's potassium levels and cause problems with blood sugar regulation. Despite what Sam Houston probably asserted, I suppose.
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Israeli Tea Biscuits (Updated)
I've written about some Israeli foods before (see March 11, 2017 post), and also about other country's biscuits before (see May 13, 2017 post, for one example), but this is of course a new topic. Mainly, a couple of tea biscuits (cookies) I discovered in my local Shop Rite supermarket. They were from Kedem, and were the chocolate and orange flavors.
The company that eventually put out Kedem products was started by the Pluczenik brothers in New York City, back in 1948. Initially it was known as the Royal Wine Corporation. However, over in Czechoslovakia, the Herzog family started making wine in 1848. They specialized in kosher wines, but also made some non-kosher varieties. They were regarded well enough to become the exclusive wine supplier to Emperor Franz Josef (1830-1916), who at times was Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary, and President of the German Confederation. (More on Franz Josef later.) However, being Jews in Czechoslovakia during the 1930's and mid 1940's was obviously very hazardous. The Herzogs barely survived by hiding out, during which time they saw their family company get taken over by someone the Nazis approved of. Then, shortly after World War II, the Communists took over Czechoslovakia. So the Herzogs had enough, and immigrated to the U.S., to New York City. Patriarch Eugene Herzog got a job with the Pluczeniks, and started amassing shares in the company along with his salary. By 1958 he had the majority shares, and bought out the entire corporation.
Kedem is therefore a brand of the Royal Wine Corporation. As a whole the company makes or distributes many kind of alcoholic beverages, such as wine, vodka, tequila, bourbon, scotch, flavored brandy, and even specialty liqueurs such as chocolate, banana, amaretto, and chili pepper flavors. They import alcoholic beverages from France, Italy, Israel, Spain, New Zealand, Australia, Argentina, Chile, Hungary, and Canada. They also make or distribute juices, salts and seasonings, snacks, teas, candy and chocolates, organic chestnuts, gnocchi, and gefilte (see April 6, 2013 post). Alternate flavors of the tea biscuits beside the two I tried include plain, whole wheat, vanilla, cappuccino, and sugar-free. And as the blog title mentions, these cookies are actually made in Israel, and then imported. Kedem sells over one million cases of kosher wine a year, to 16 different nations worldwide. So they're obviously a large, successful conglomerate.
1) Kedem tea biscuits, chocolate flavor: Roughly rectangular shape, with scalloped edges, measuring about 6.5 cm. by 3.75 cm. (about 2.5 inches by 1.5 inches), with a light brown color. "Special Tea" was embossed on them. Some hint of chocolate flavor, but pretty plain. Slightly better after dipping in milk, but still boring.
2) Kedem tea biscuits, orange flavor: Same size, shape, and embossments as chocolate kind, although these were a yellow color instead. Once again the advertised flavor was apparent, but only barely. Pretty bland once again. Milk dipping helped somewhat, but still not great.
The company that eventually put out Kedem products was started by the Pluczenik brothers in New York City, back in 1948. Initially it was known as the Royal Wine Corporation. However, over in Czechoslovakia, the Herzog family started making wine in 1848. They specialized in kosher wines, but also made some non-kosher varieties. They were regarded well enough to become the exclusive wine supplier to Emperor Franz Josef (1830-1916), who at times was Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary, and President of the German Confederation. (More on Franz Josef later.) However, being Jews in Czechoslovakia during the 1930's and mid 1940's was obviously very hazardous. The Herzogs barely survived by hiding out, during which time they saw their family company get taken over by someone the Nazis approved of. Then, shortly after World War II, the Communists took over Czechoslovakia. So the Herzogs had enough, and immigrated to the U.S., to New York City. Patriarch Eugene Herzog got a job with the Pluczeniks, and started amassing shares in the company along with his salary. By 1958 he had the majority shares, and bought out the entire corporation.
Kedem is therefore a brand of the Royal Wine Corporation. As a whole the company makes or distributes many kind of alcoholic beverages, such as wine, vodka, tequila, bourbon, scotch, flavored brandy, and even specialty liqueurs such as chocolate, banana, amaretto, and chili pepper flavors. They import alcoholic beverages from France, Italy, Israel, Spain, New Zealand, Australia, Argentina, Chile, Hungary, and Canada. They also make or distribute juices, salts and seasonings, snacks, teas, candy and chocolates, organic chestnuts, gnocchi, and gefilte (see April 6, 2013 post). Alternate flavors of the tea biscuits beside the two I tried include plain, whole wheat, vanilla, cappuccino, and sugar-free. And as the blog title mentions, these cookies are actually made in Israel, and then imported. Kedem sells over one million cases of kosher wine a year, to 16 different nations worldwide. So they're obviously a large, successful conglomerate.
1) Kedem tea biscuits, chocolate flavor: Roughly rectangular shape, with scalloped edges, measuring about 6.5 cm. by 3.75 cm. (about 2.5 inches by 1.5 inches), with a light brown color. "Special Tea" was embossed on them. Some hint of chocolate flavor, but pretty plain. Slightly better after dipping in milk, but still boring.
2) Kedem tea biscuits, orange flavor: Same size, shape, and embossments as chocolate kind, although these were a yellow color instead. Once again the advertised flavor was apparent, but only barely. Pretty bland once again. Milk dipping helped somewhat, but still not great.
(Update--I just tried another flavor, in 2021) Kedem tea biscuits, cappuccino flavor: Same size, shape, and embossments as the others. And once again, the advertised flavor was weak. I don't know if I could tell these apart in a blind taste test. In this case it was probably positive, since I hate coffee flavors, but still. Crunchy, and boring.)
Therefore, it's once again demonstrated that I have "ugly American" taste in cookies/biscuits, preferring mine to be sweeter. Evidently Europeans, and people from other areas of the world like their biscuits to be less sugary. So if your palate is similar to mine, I wouldn't recommend them, but if you prefer blander cookies/biscuits, maybe you'll enjoy them.
There is some disagreement about whether to count reigns started as a child, or as an adult, but Franz Josef is usually credited as serving the third longest reign of any monarch in European countries, and fourth overall. Louis XIV of France reigned longest, followed by Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand, and Johann II of tiny Liechtenstein. (These records also don't make distinctions between "absolute" rulers and "figurehead" style monarchs.)
Therefore, it's once again demonstrated that I have "ugly American" taste in cookies/biscuits, preferring mine to be sweeter. Evidently Europeans, and people from other areas of the world like their biscuits to be less sugary. So if your palate is similar to mine, I wouldn't recommend them, but if you prefer blander cookies/biscuits, maybe you'll enjoy them.
There is some disagreement about whether to count reigns started as a child, or as an adult, but Franz Josef is usually credited as serving the third longest reign of any monarch in European countries, and fourth overall. Louis XIV of France reigned longest, followed by Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand, and Johann II of tiny Liechtenstein. (These records also don't make distinctions between "absolute" rulers and "figurehead" style monarchs.)
Saturday, February 2, 2019
Underrated Horror/Sci Fi Films--"The Blob" 1988
It's been a while, so I thought I'd focus on yet another movie which I feel hasn't gotten the credit it deserves. Today it's "The Blob," which was the 1988 remake of the 1958 film of the same name. As usual, I'll start with a brief, spoiler-free summary, then go on with a longer, spoiler-rich recap, followed by a discussion of some of the movie's themes, and ending with some background about the cast and crew.
"The Blob" is about the titular monster, an amorphous mass of caustic goo which has crashed near a small town in Colorado. Several teens--football player Paul, cheerleader Meg, and troubled punk Brian Flag, are among the first to encounter this bizarre creature. The Blob quickly reaches town, devouring many people along the way. The Sheriff and his deputy seem unable to combat this problem, since the Blob can change shape, and is impervious to normal weapons. Will anyone be able to stop it, or will the Blob absorb the entire town, and perhaps even the world?
(SPOILERS AHEAD UNTIL NOTED) The film opens on a pleasant autumn day. Most of the town is watching the high school football game, where Paul Taylor is playing effectively, rooted on by pretty cheerleader Meg Penny. Paul asks Meg out on a date for that night, which she eagerly accepts. Meanwhile, outside of town, at Elkin's Grove, Brian Flag is riding and jumping his motorcycle by a wooded gorge. In a local cafe Sheriff Herb Geller is also trying to drum up some romance, with waitress Fran. After Flag damages his bike, he hitches back into town soon enough to encounter the sheriff, who reminds Flag that he'll soon be past the age for juvenile punishment, as Flag is about to turn 18. Flag goes to the garage he works at sometimes, and talks with his boss, Moss, who's busy working on snowmobiles for the upcoming winter tourist season.
As night falls, a local hobo sees an apparent meteorite crashing quite near him, in the same area of Elkin's Grove that Flag had been earlier. At the same time Paul is picking up Meg for their date, which also includes an embarrassing meeting with her pharmacist father, who had an earlier misunderstanding with Paul at the pharmacy. Then the bum discovers the meteorite crash site, where he sees a weird pinkish jellylike form amidst the debris. When he pokes at the slime with a stick, it rapidly flows up and attaches itself on his hand, causing him severe burning pain. The hobo run past Flag, who's retrieving his motorcycle, and out into the road, where Paul and Meg accidentally hit him with Paul's car. Paul, Meg, Flag, and the hobo then drive to the hospital. After a long wait, during which Flag gets disgusted and leaves, Paul goes for a soda and through the door happens to notice that the bum's blanket-covered body looks peculiar. When he and the summoned doctor examine the hobo they see that the poor man is dead, and half of his body is dissolved. Paul manages to make a panicked phone call to the police just before the missing blob, now much larger, falls on and envelopes him. Meg arrives in time to see Paul killed, but she faints as the cops arrive. The police decide that Meg is hysterical, and let her go home. By this time they've also apprehended Flag, whom they think might be involved with the crimes.
The blob next attacks and eats a couple parked in a lover's lane outside of town. Over his deputy's objections, Sheriff Geller releases Flag, as there is no evidence to support the theory that he killed the hobo and/or Paul. Outside the police station, Flag runs into Meg, who sneaked out of her house to bail him out. They go to the local cafe. The blob quickly strikes again, attacking and killing the cook in the kitchen. Meg and Flag only escape by hiding in the freezer. The coldness of the freezer is seen to actively repel the blob. Fran escapes the cafe and calls for help in the pay phone booth outside the cafe. Alas, just before she's absorbed by the blob she sees that Sheriff Geller (who was coming to pick her up for a date) is dead, and being digested in the blob's mass. Meg and Flag leave the cafe and head for Elkin's Grove. Reverend Meeker sees the blob descending into the sewer, and after inspecting the ravaged cafe he takes a sample of some frozen blob pieces in a glass jar.
At Elkin's Grove Meg and Flag encounter a large group of hazmat-suited government agents, who announce that they're with a biological containment team, led by Dr. Meadows. Back in town, the blob invades the movie theater, and starts to pick off the theater employees. Meadows forces Meg and Flag into a van headed back to town, but along the way Flag escapes, while Meg chooses to stay. In town the government agents are rounding up the citizens into one place, in quarantine. Meg realizes her brother is at the movie theater, and she goes to get him, arriving just as the blob attacks and absorbs more patrons. Meg, Kevin, and his friend Eddie narrowly get away into the sewer. Flag returns to Elkin's Grove, and overhears that the biological containment team is actually involved with bio weapons, and the blob is an American-made virus that crashed back to Earth on a satellite. Meadows states that the townspeople are expendable. Flag is discovered, and escapes on his bike while the government agents try to shoot him. He manages to get into the sewer as well. Flag then comes upon Meg just in time, as she and some bio weapons men are trapped in the sewer, as Meadows has shut off all the manholes to try to trap the blob. Eddie is killed, while Kevin flees the sewer through a small grate. Flag opens up the manhole using what looks like a LAWS rocket carried by the surviving bio weapons man. Meadows and his men are about to start a gun battle with Flag, but Deputy Briggs intervenes. Then Dr. Meadows is grabbed by the blob and pulled into the sewer. A round of bullets and a grenade appear to just irritate the blob, and it explodes out of the sewer. A flamethrower attack on it fails, and severely burns Reverend Meeker in the process. While putting out the flames, Meg notices that the blob once again retreats from cold things, in this case the fire extinguisher. She and the survivors flee into the town hall, and beat back the attacking blob with their dwindling supply of fire extinguishers. Just as the blob is about to burst in, Flag shows up, driving the town's snow maker on a truck. He manages to partially freeze the blob, although it's able to counter attack and envelope the truck. Meg leaves the town hall and grabs a fallen government agent's gun and explosives. She distracts the blob from killing Flag, and with some later help from Flag is able to detonate the explosives, causing the blob to freeze completely in the snow. As the townspeople gather outside, Moss rallies them to help him load the frozen blob into an ice house so it doesn't thaw out.
A brief epilogue shows a religious tent revival going on, led by Reverend Meeker. He's preaching about the end of the world in a fiery sermon. Later when a parishioner asks him when the Day of Judgement will happen, he answers, "Soon" while glancing at the blob sample he still has, now thawed out and actively trying to get out of its glass jar prison.
One of the things that strikes me the most about this version of "The Blob" is how it subverts the audience's expectations, but in a good way. For example, the first character to be introduced is Paul, and we're clearly supposed to regard him as the film's hero, its protagonist. But then he's abruptly killed off, in the opening 30 minutes or so. Similarly, the characters of Sheriff Geller and Fran seem important, as sub-heroes, and while we expect them to be threatened, we also anticipate that they'll survive to the end, and probably start their romance. But no--both are also killed off quickly. It's a neat twist. After these unexpected deaths, we don't know who'll be next. It's kind of reminiscent of the HBO series "A Game of Thrones," in that we don't know who will make it. Or there's Eddie. Most horror/sci fi/thriller movies, no matter how brutal and graphic, usually draw the line at killing a child character. But here a kid gets it, in a terrifying and disturbing way, most of it shown. Clearly subverting expectations isn't always a good idea, but in a frightening movie like this, it can be, as it increases the tension, and seems more realistic.
Another good aspect of the 1988 "Blob" is that it changes the story in an interesting fashion. As I noted in my article on good movie remakes (see my April 18, 2015 post, which also mentions this movie in briefer form) the best ones actually have a point. They don't just repeat the first one. But, it's a fine line to tread, because if the story is changed too much that can be negative, too. It's obviously a happy medium that's hard to hit. The major improvement of the 1988 "Blob" is that it changes the blob itself. In the original, it was simply an alien life form that crashed to Earth within a meteorite. Completely random, coincidental. But the remake blob is human-made. American scientists created a bio weapon, and then, evidently panicked and shot it into space to get rid of it. But somehow it evolved (from outer space radiation? Encountering another life form?), and got onto a satellite, which then crashed back onto Earth. Clearly the concept of a blob is fairly ludicrous, but it being an intentionally engineered bio weapon is slightly more realistic, or probable, than a random alien crash landing. It's dangerous, and strong, and difficult to destroy because that's the way it was originally designed, in a more primitive form, of course. Also, having the creature be human-made adds a villain, in the form of Dr. Meadows in particular, and the U.S. government/U.S. military in general. Sometimes it helps a horror movie when the danger isn't just the monster(s), but one's fellow humans, who can't, or won't, cooperate to effectively fight the inhuman threat. George Romero's "Dead" movies pretty much always had this. Movies are affected by their time and place, too. Making the government be the bad guy, or at least an alternate bad guy, wouldn't have seemed right to movie goers in late 1950's America. But in 1988, after 30 years of government corruption such as Watergate, this seemed more depressingly plausible, and it added something to the movie. When the government officials didn't care if the civilians live or die, it really adds to the pressure on these regular citizens to fight these multiple threats themselves.
Another important element in a film is having likable and relatable characters. There are exceptions to this, obviously, but in general it makes a movie better if we care what happens to the folks shown in it. "The Blob" isn't a 3 hour character study, but it still accomplishes this pretty well, I think. Brian Flag has a typical Han Solo/Titus Pullo (from HBO's "Rome" series) type "lovable rogue" character arc. When first encountered he's a troubled youth, who's had numerous brushes with the law, and seems fairly selfish and anti-social. But during the movie he seems to soften. We see him caring about the stricken hobo, and then, more dramatically, looking past his impression of Meg as a vapid cheerleader to get to know her better, sympathize with her, and help out. By the end of the movie he's risking his life to save the entire town. The other characters are fleshed out well enough, too. We like them, or at least can understand why they're acting the way that they do. Even Dr. Meadows' actions made sense to him--he's trying to give his country a powerful weapon to fight the Communist Soviets, and this is more important than a few hundred American civilians' lives. With one exception, I guess. Paul's friend Scott is kind of scummy, as he's taking advantage of his drunk girlfriend, so there's one person who dies that we don't mourn!
The character of Meg has some innovative traits as well. True, she does faint, and is rescued by Flag at least twice. But, she's not some useless damsel in distress. She takes the initiative to leave the military quarantine area to rescue her little brother, and his friend Eddie, from the Blob while they're in the movie theater. She leads them into the sewer, through it, and manages to save her brother. Eddie dies, of course, but Meg bravely dives into the water to attempt to save him from the blob. Then, at the end, it's Meg who leaves the safety of the town hall to save Flag from the blob, using the dead soldier's gun and bombs. She does need Flag to help her out after, but she's still actively fighting this nearly unkillable adversary. It's odd to say, but this 1980's horror flick is rather progressive in some ways.
As I mentioned in my piece about movie remakes, don't take this as a harsh criticism of the 1958 version of "The Blob." That was a fun movie, with a new, quirky monster. The cast and crew did the best they could within the constraints of their budget, and the special effects of the time. Here's another area where the remake excelled, though. The 1988 "Blob" effects were really good. The gore is well done, and appropriately disgusting. And the blob enveloping and dissolving scenes are repulsive, yet convincing. Characters are pulled into sink drains, phone booths are engulfed, weird protoplasm tentacles shoot out and grab people, and it's all real looking. It's not perfect, mind you--there are a few quick moments when the effects of the creature aren't as strong, but the overwhelming majority of scenes are very effective. If another remake is done, the effects would surely be mostly CGI, and most likely, be overly slick and video game-ish, and ultimately hollow and unrealistic, as these often are, in my view. Score another one for practical effects.
(END SPOILERS--SAFE FOR EVERYONE) 1988's "The Blob" was directed by Chuck Russell. Readers with good memories may recall that I did an article about another Russell movie, 1987's "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors" back on July 7th, 2018. Other Russell credits include executive producing 1981's "Hell Night," co-writing 1984's "Dreamscape," and directing "The Mask" (1994), "Eraster" (1996), "Bless the Child" (2000), "The Scorpion King" (2002), and "I Am Wrath" (2016). Again like "Nightmare on Elm Street 3," the Blob remake was co-written by Frank Darabont, best known for writing and directing "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), "The Green Mile" (1999), "The Mist" (2007), and writing/directing/producing 2001's "The Majestic." He also allegedly script doctored "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), "Minority Report" (2002), "Collateral" (2004), and "Godzilla" (2014), and developed the AMC television show "The Walking Dead," and produced, directed, and wrote some of the show's first season episodes.
Brian Flag portrayer Kevin Dillon's credits include "The Delta Force" (1984), "Platoon" (1986), "Heaven Help Us" (1987), "The Doors" (1991), "Hotel For Dogs" (2009), and roles in both the television show and movie versions of "Entourage." Shawnee Smith (Meg Penny) was in such movies as "Annie" (1982), "Summer School" (1987), "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995), television's "Becker" (1998-2004) and 6 entries in the "Saw" movie series. Paul Taylor was played by Donovan Leitch (son of singer Donovan), who was also in "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" (1984, also one of my favorite movie titles ever!), "Glory" (1989), "I Shot Andy Warhol" (1996), and "The Dark Knight" (2008). Jeffrey DeMunn (Sheriff Geller) was in "Christmas Evil" (1980), "The Hitcher" (1986), and several other Frank Darabont movies, like "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), "The Green Mile" (1999), and "The Mist" (2007). Fran was played by Candy Clark, who was in "American Graffiti" (1973, and she was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress for this role), "Q" (1982), "Cat's Eye" (1985), "Cherry Falls" (2000), and "Zodiac" (2007). Joe Seneca (Dr. Meadows) was in such films as "The Taking of Pellham One Two Three" (1974), "Kramer vs. Kramer" (1979), "The Verdict" (1982), "Silverado" (1985), "Malcolm X" (1992), and "A Time to Kill" (1996). The character of Deputy Briggs was played by Paul McCrane, best known for roles in "Rocky II" (1979), "Fame" (1980), "Robocop" (1987), "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), and television's "ER" (1994-2009). Horror movie stalwart Bill Moseley shows up too, in a small role as an injured soldier. Among his credits are parts in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" (1986), "The Night of the Living Dead" (1990 remake), "Army of Darkness" (1993), "The Devil's Rejects" (2005), and "Grindhouse" (2007). Reverend Meeker was played by Del Close, who was a famous comedian and coach/teacher of many famous comedians, such as Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, John Belushi, John Candy, Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey, Shelley Long, Amy Poehler, Gilda Radner, Harold Ramis, and many others. He also acted in "American Graffiti" (1973), "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986), "The Untouchables" (1987), and as far as I can tell, was the only person to act in more than one "Blob" movie, as he was also in the 1972 sequel "Beware! The Blob" (which was directed by, of all people, Larry Hagman, best known for playing J.R. Ewing on the TV show "Dallas"). Jack Harris, who produced the original "Blob," also executive produced and provided the story for the 1988 remake.
So, all in all, I don't know why this version of "The Blob" isn't better known and regarded. It was a box office bomb, earning only 8.2 million compared to its 19 million dollar budget. It does have a cult following, but not enough of one, I think. The 1958 version is still remembered, as a campy, cheesy 1950's monster movie, but its better remake really isn't. But I highly recommend it to horror/sci fi fans. It's frightening, and occasionally gross, with compelling characters, a good plot, and even some intentionally comedic moments. So check it out.
"The Blob" is about the titular monster, an amorphous mass of caustic goo which has crashed near a small town in Colorado. Several teens--football player Paul, cheerleader Meg, and troubled punk Brian Flag, are among the first to encounter this bizarre creature. The Blob quickly reaches town, devouring many people along the way. The Sheriff and his deputy seem unable to combat this problem, since the Blob can change shape, and is impervious to normal weapons. Will anyone be able to stop it, or will the Blob absorb the entire town, and perhaps even the world?
(SPOILERS AHEAD UNTIL NOTED) The film opens on a pleasant autumn day. Most of the town is watching the high school football game, where Paul Taylor is playing effectively, rooted on by pretty cheerleader Meg Penny. Paul asks Meg out on a date for that night, which she eagerly accepts. Meanwhile, outside of town, at Elkin's Grove, Brian Flag is riding and jumping his motorcycle by a wooded gorge. In a local cafe Sheriff Herb Geller is also trying to drum up some romance, with waitress Fran. After Flag damages his bike, he hitches back into town soon enough to encounter the sheriff, who reminds Flag that he'll soon be past the age for juvenile punishment, as Flag is about to turn 18. Flag goes to the garage he works at sometimes, and talks with his boss, Moss, who's busy working on snowmobiles for the upcoming winter tourist season.
As night falls, a local hobo sees an apparent meteorite crashing quite near him, in the same area of Elkin's Grove that Flag had been earlier. At the same time Paul is picking up Meg for their date, which also includes an embarrassing meeting with her pharmacist father, who had an earlier misunderstanding with Paul at the pharmacy. Then the bum discovers the meteorite crash site, where he sees a weird pinkish jellylike form amidst the debris. When he pokes at the slime with a stick, it rapidly flows up and attaches itself on his hand, causing him severe burning pain. The hobo run past Flag, who's retrieving his motorcycle, and out into the road, where Paul and Meg accidentally hit him with Paul's car. Paul, Meg, Flag, and the hobo then drive to the hospital. After a long wait, during which Flag gets disgusted and leaves, Paul goes for a soda and through the door happens to notice that the bum's blanket-covered body looks peculiar. When he and the summoned doctor examine the hobo they see that the poor man is dead, and half of his body is dissolved. Paul manages to make a panicked phone call to the police just before the missing blob, now much larger, falls on and envelopes him. Meg arrives in time to see Paul killed, but she faints as the cops arrive. The police decide that Meg is hysterical, and let her go home. By this time they've also apprehended Flag, whom they think might be involved with the crimes.
The blob next attacks and eats a couple parked in a lover's lane outside of town. Over his deputy's objections, Sheriff Geller releases Flag, as there is no evidence to support the theory that he killed the hobo and/or Paul. Outside the police station, Flag runs into Meg, who sneaked out of her house to bail him out. They go to the local cafe. The blob quickly strikes again, attacking and killing the cook in the kitchen. Meg and Flag only escape by hiding in the freezer. The coldness of the freezer is seen to actively repel the blob. Fran escapes the cafe and calls for help in the pay phone booth outside the cafe. Alas, just before she's absorbed by the blob she sees that Sheriff Geller (who was coming to pick her up for a date) is dead, and being digested in the blob's mass. Meg and Flag leave the cafe and head for Elkin's Grove. Reverend Meeker sees the blob descending into the sewer, and after inspecting the ravaged cafe he takes a sample of some frozen blob pieces in a glass jar.
At Elkin's Grove Meg and Flag encounter a large group of hazmat-suited government agents, who announce that they're with a biological containment team, led by Dr. Meadows. Back in town, the blob invades the movie theater, and starts to pick off the theater employees. Meadows forces Meg and Flag into a van headed back to town, but along the way Flag escapes, while Meg chooses to stay. In town the government agents are rounding up the citizens into one place, in quarantine. Meg realizes her brother is at the movie theater, and she goes to get him, arriving just as the blob attacks and absorbs more patrons. Meg, Kevin, and his friend Eddie narrowly get away into the sewer. Flag returns to Elkin's Grove, and overhears that the biological containment team is actually involved with bio weapons, and the blob is an American-made virus that crashed back to Earth on a satellite. Meadows states that the townspeople are expendable. Flag is discovered, and escapes on his bike while the government agents try to shoot him. He manages to get into the sewer as well. Flag then comes upon Meg just in time, as she and some bio weapons men are trapped in the sewer, as Meadows has shut off all the manholes to try to trap the blob. Eddie is killed, while Kevin flees the sewer through a small grate. Flag opens up the manhole using what looks like a LAWS rocket carried by the surviving bio weapons man. Meadows and his men are about to start a gun battle with Flag, but Deputy Briggs intervenes. Then Dr. Meadows is grabbed by the blob and pulled into the sewer. A round of bullets and a grenade appear to just irritate the blob, and it explodes out of the sewer. A flamethrower attack on it fails, and severely burns Reverend Meeker in the process. While putting out the flames, Meg notices that the blob once again retreats from cold things, in this case the fire extinguisher. She and the survivors flee into the town hall, and beat back the attacking blob with their dwindling supply of fire extinguishers. Just as the blob is about to burst in, Flag shows up, driving the town's snow maker on a truck. He manages to partially freeze the blob, although it's able to counter attack and envelope the truck. Meg leaves the town hall and grabs a fallen government agent's gun and explosives. She distracts the blob from killing Flag, and with some later help from Flag is able to detonate the explosives, causing the blob to freeze completely in the snow. As the townspeople gather outside, Moss rallies them to help him load the frozen blob into an ice house so it doesn't thaw out.
A brief epilogue shows a religious tent revival going on, led by Reverend Meeker. He's preaching about the end of the world in a fiery sermon. Later when a parishioner asks him when the Day of Judgement will happen, he answers, "Soon" while glancing at the blob sample he still has, now thawed out and actively trying to get out of its glass jar prison.
One of the things that strikes me the most about this version of "The Blob" is how it subverts the audience's expectations, but in a good way. For example, the first character to be introduced is Paul, and we're clearly supposed to regard him as the film's hero, its protagonist. But then he's abruptly killed off, in the opening 30 minutes or so. Similarly, the characters of Sheriff Geller and Fran seem important, as sub-heroes, and while we expect them to be threatened, we also anticipate that they'll survive to the end, and probably start their romance. But no--both are also killed off quickly. It's a neat twist. After these unexpected deaths, we don't know who'll be next. It's kind of reminiscent of the HBO series "A Game of Thrones," in that we don't know who will make it. Or there's Eddie. Most horror/sci fi/thriller movies, no matter how brutal and graphic, usually draw the line at killing a child character. But here a kid gets it, in a terrifying and disturbing way, most of it shown. Clearly subverting expectations isn't always a good idea, but in a frightening movie like this, it can be, as it increases the tension, and seems more realistic.
Another good aspect of the 1988 "Blob" is that it changes the story in an interesting fashion. As I noted in my article on good movie remakes (see my April 18, 2015 post, which also mentions this movie in briefer form) the best ones actually have a point. They don't just repeat the first one. But, it's a fine line to tread, because if the story is changed too much that can be negative, too. It's obviously a happy medium that's hard to hit. The major improvement of the 1988 "Blob" is that it changes the blob itself. In the original, it was simply an alien life form that crashed to Earth within a meteorite. Completely random, coincidental. But the remake blob is human-made. American scientists created a bio weapon, and then, evidently panicked and shot it into space to get rid of it. But somehow it evolved (from outer space radiation? Encountering another life form?), and got onto a satellite, which then crashed back onto Earth. Clearly the concept of a blob is fairly ludicrous, but it being an intentionally engineered bio weapon is slightly more realistic, or probable, than a random alien crash landing. It's dangerous, and strong, and difficult to destroy because that's the way it was originally designed, in a more primitive form, of course. Also, having the creature be human-made adds a villain, in the form of Dr. Meadows in particular, and the U.S. government/U.S. military in general. Sometimes it helps a horror movie when the danger isn't just the monster(s), but one's fellow humans, who can't, or won't, cooperate to effectively fight the inhuman threat. George Romero's "Dead" movies pretty much always had this. Movies are affected by their time and place, too. Making the government be the bad guy, or at least an alternate bad guy, wouldn't have seemed right to movie goers in late 1950's America. But in 1988, after 30 years of government corruption such as Watergate, this seemed more depressingly plausible, and it added something to the movie. When the government officials didn't care if the civilians live or die, it really adds to the pressure on these regular citizens to fight these multiple threats themselves.
Another important element in a film is having likable and relatable characters. There are exceptions to this, obviously, but in general it makes a movie better if we care what happens to the folks shown in it. "The Blob" isn't a 3 hour character study, but it still accomplishes this pretty well, I think. Brian Flag has a typical Han Solo/Titus Pullo (from HBO's "Rome" series) type "lovable rogue" character arc. When first encountered he's a troubled youth, who's had numerous brushes with the law, and seems fairly selfish and anti-social. But during the movie he seems to soften. We see him caring about the stricken hobo, and then, more dramatically, looking past his impression of Meg as a vapid cheerleader to get to know her better, sympathize with her, and help out. By the end of the movie he's risking his life to save the entire town. The other characters are fleshed out well enough, too. We like them, or at least can understand why they're acting the way that they do. Even Dr. Meadows' actions made sense to him--he's trying to give his country a powerful weapon to fight the Communist Soviets, and this is more important than a few hundred American civilians' lives. With one exception, I guess. Paul's friend Scott is kind of scummy, as he's taking advantage of his drunk girlfriend, so there's one person who dies that we don't mourn!
The character of Meg has some innovative traits as well. True, she does faint, and is rescued by Flag at least twice. But, she's not some useless damsel in distress. She takes the initiative to leave the military quarantine area to rescue her little brother, and his friend Eddie, from the Blob while they're in the movie theater. She leads them into the sewer, through it, and manages to save her brother. Eddie dies, of course, but Meg bravely dives into the water to attempt to save him from the blob. Then, at the end, it's Meg who leaves the safety of the town hall to save Flag from the blob, using the dead soldier's gun and bombs. She does need Flag to help her out after, but she's still actively fighting this nearly unkillable adversary. It's odd to say, but this 1980's horror flick is rather progressive in some ways.
As I mentioned in my piece about movie remakes, don't take this as a harsh criticism of the 1958 version of "The Blob." That was a fun movie, with a new, quirky monster. The cast and crew did the best they could within the constraints of their budget, and the special effects of the time. Here's another area where the remake excelled, though. The 1988 "Blob" effects were really good. The gore is well done, and appropriately disgusting. And the blob enveloping and dissolving scenes are repulsive, yet convincing. Characters are pulled into sink drains, phone booths are engulfed, weird protoplasm tentacles shoot out and grab people, and it's all real looking. It's not perfect, mind you--there are a few quick moments when the effects of the creature aren't as strong, but the overwhelming majority of scenes are very effective. If another remake is done, the effects would surely be mostly CGI, and most likely, be overly slick and video game-ish, and ultimately hollow and unrealistic, as these often are, in my view. Score another one for practical effects.
(END SPOILERS--SAFE FOR EVERYONE) 1988's "The Blob" was directed by Chuck Russell. Readers with good memories may recall that I did an article about another Russell movie, 1987's "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors" back on July 7th, 2018. Other Russell credits include executive producing 1981's "Hell Night," co-writing 1984's "Dreamscape," and directing "The Mask" (1994), "Eraster" (1996), "Bless the Child" (2000), "The Scorpion King" (2002), and "I Am Wrath" (2016). Again like "Nightmare on Elm Street 3," the Blob remake was co-written by Frank Darabont, best known for writing and directing "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), "The Green Mile" (1999), "The Mist" (2007), and writing/directing/producing 2001's "The Majestic." He also allegedly script doctored "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), "Minority Report" (2002), "Collateral" (2004), and "Godzilla" (2014), and developed the AMC television show "The Walking Dead," and produced, directed, and wrote some of the show's first season episodes.
Brian Flag portrayer Kevin Dillon's credits include "The Delta Force" (1984), "Platoon" (1986), "Heaven Help Us" (1987), "The Doors" (1991), "Hotel For Dogs" (2009), and roles in both the television show and movie versions of "Entourage." Shawnee Smith (Meg Penny) was in such movies as "Annie" (1982), "Summer School" (1987), "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995), television's "Becker" (1998-2004) and 6 entries in the "Saw" movie series. Paul Taylor was played by Donovan Leitch (son of singer Donovan), who was also in "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" (1984, also one of my favorite movie titles ever!), "Glory" (1989), "I Shot Andy Warhol" (1996), and "The Dark Knight" (2008). Jeffrey DeMunn (Sheriff Geller) was in "Christmas Evil" (1980), "The Hitcher" (1986), and several other Frank Darabont movies, like "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), "The Green Mile" (1999), and "The Mist" (2007). Fran was played by Candy Clark, who was in "American Graffiti" (1973, and she was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress for this role), "Q" (1982), "Cat's Eye" (1985), "Cherry Falls" (2000), and "Zodiac" (2007). Joe Seneca (Dr. Meadows) was in such films as "The Taking of Pellham One Two Three" (1974), "Kramer vs. Kramer" (1979), "The Verdict" (1982), "Silverado" (1985), "Malcolm X" (1992), and "A Time to Kill" (1996). The character of Deputy Briggs was played by Paul McCrane, best known for roles in "Rocky II" (1979), "Fame" (1980), "Robocop" (1987), "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994), and television's "ER" (1994-2009). Horror movie stalwart Bill Moseley shows up too, in a small role as an injured soldier. Among his credits are parts in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" (1986), "The Night of the Living Dead" (1990 remake), "Army of Darkness" (1993), "The Devil's Rejects" (2005), and "Grindhouse" (2007). Reverend Meeker was played by Del Close, who was a famous comedian and coach/teacher of many famous comedians, such as Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, John Belushi, John Candy, Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey, Shelley Long, Amy Poehler, Gilda Radner, Harold Ramis, and many others. He also acted in "American Graffiti" (1973), "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986), "The Untouchables" (1987), and as far as I can tell, was the only person to act in more than one "Blob" movie, as he was also in the 1972 sequel "Beware! The Blob" (which was directed by, of all people, Larry Hagman, best known for playing J.R. Ewing on the TV show "Dallas"). Jack Harris, who produced the original "Blob," also executive produced and provided the story for the 1988 remake.
So, all in all, I don't know why this version of "The Blob" isn't better known and regarded. It was a box office bomb, earning only 8.2 million compared to its 19 million dollar budget. It does have a cult following, but not enough of one, I think. The 1958 version is still remembered, as a campy, cheesy 1950's monster movie, but its better remake really isn't. But I highly recommend it to horror/sci fi fans. It's frightening, and occasionally gross, with compelling characters, a good plot, and even some intentionally comedic moments. So check it out.
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