Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--An Italian Water, and a Scatological Story

      Today I'll be discussing some water from the Acqua Panna brand, which is bottled from a spring in Tuscany, Italy.  And actually I bought and drank this water like two years ago.  I kind of forgot about it,  and/or whenever I remembered it the time wasn't right for a post, because I'd just done something about Italy recently, or of another non-alcoholic beverage.  Anyway, today's the day.  Additionally, I'll wrap this up by including a somewhat related tale from my time working as a field archaeologist.

     The area where the Acqua Panna spring is was bought by the hugely powerful and wealthy Medici family back in the early 1400's.  The date on the bottle and website is 1564, so that's evidently when the spring was first discovered and utilized.  However, it was fenced off and just used by the family for centuries, until the property, and spring were acquired by others.  The water wasn't bottled and sold until 1880.  In 1957 the operation was purchased by San Pellegrino, which in turn is currently owned by the giant Nestle corporation.  As for a few more tidbits about Acqua Panna, this water is actually alkaline, with a pH of 8.0.  It's also designated as a spring water rather than a mineral water.  I didn't feel like looking this up, but presumably the distinction is the amount of minerals occurring in the water.  If you're one of those conspiracy theorists that think that fluoride is some mind control drug or some such nonsense, you can rest easy, as Acqua Panna contains none of this substance.  I was a bit amused to see a "Serving Suggestions" part in the FAQ section on the official website.  Yes, they advise that you imbibe your water at a temperature of 12-18 degrees Celsius (or 53-64 degrees Fahrenheit), with neither ice nor lemon.  They also suggest some food and wine pairings for your Acqua Panna.  So some pretentiousness to go with your water, I suppose.  (Maybe I'm being a little harsh here, but c'mon, it's water.)

Acqua Panna spring water:  Like all non-polluted water, I guess, this water was clear and had no odor.  The taste was okay.  A little odd, though--it somehow tasted a little like it was carbonated, even though it wasn't.  So overall it was decent, but I wasn't dazzled or anything.  I certainly wouldn't pay its higher price or anything.  Perhaps my palate has been destroyed from years of drinking mostly tap water.  So unless you live in an area where the local water is unsafe to drink, or is significantly foul-tasting, I've never really seen the point of buying any bottled water.  And Acqua Panna hasn't changed my mind.  

     On to the work anecdote which, again, will be a little earthy and crude.  Back when I was digging full time, we obviously had to work in the extreme heat of summer--sometimes even in raw temperatures well over 95 degrees Fahrenheit (or 35 degrees Celsius) with heat indexes that were even higher.  Meaning we had to drink copious amounts of water, as well as consuming sports drinks for electrolytes, etc.  Anyway, one crew member was legendary for his foolishness in this regard.  I did not actually meet this person, so this story is second or third hand.  (Although these sources were people I knew and trusted, so I believe them.)  He told people that he "didn't like the taste of water."  Not the particular water in the area we were staying, but all water, across the board.  Really.  Instead he drank carbonated soft drinks all day--if memory serves, Dr. Pepper.  (Which, for folks who don't know is pretty much the worst kind of beverage you can drink in these circumstances, short of chugging alcoholic beverages.)  During long field days in the American South, in the summer.  Not shockingly, he got sick.  To the point of crapping his pants.  So, lesson learned, right?  Nope, not our guy.  After this he stuck to his stupid guns, and continued to avoid water for Dr. Pepper....but he did bring an extra pair of underwear, for the inevitable later rounds of bowel incontinence.  He didn't last long as a field tech--which is probably good, since he presumably would have eventually died from his stubbornness.  These actions prompted a nickname, clearly.  I can't recall this man's real name, but I do definitely remember his nickname--Brigadier Poopy Pants.  He had other annoying habits, too.  Like a lot of new field archaeologists, he was extremely into machetes.  Some guys (and it's almost always guys) regard machetes as more than just practical tools occasionally needed for brush clearing, and bring them along even when not needed because it makes them feel like a badass.  Ol' BPP tried to wear one into a restaurant at lunch, reportedly, before the supervisor made him leave it in the field vehicle.  He also had a vanity license plate that referenced coprolites, presumably "COPRLTE."  (Again, for those that don't know, coprolites are fossilized feces.)  Which I actually find kind of funny, but other folks didn't enjoy.  So. long story short, one of my coworkers was too stupid to drink water, even after doing something that most people would consider to be the most humiliating thing you can do.  I made some mistakes in the field about heat safety, but I'm proud that I didn't join his club, so to speak.  Hopefully BPP learned his lesson finally, and started forcing himself to choke down some water if he wanted to continue to work outside in the summer.  I'm also curious if he ever found out that his revolting exploits lived on in our company stories for decades after he left.  Was he capable of shame?

     The moral of this story is don't be like BPP--if you're working outside in the heat, drink plenty of water and sports drinks.  Even if you're a weirdo and don't really enjoy them.  It's much better than the alternatives.

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--American/South American/Central American Banana Snacks

      I took a slight chance for this week's topic.  As I've mentioned previously, traditionally I haven't been much of a fan of bananas.  At least fresh ones, out of the peel.  Their taste is okay, but not great.  Also, it seems that I have a mild allergy to them, as after eating them my throat is a tiny bit sore, and sometimes some mild stomach discomfort occurs.  (Oddly, cooking or other preparations seem to solve this.  I enjoy cooked plantains (which are a subtype of bananas), and plantain chips/crisps.)  But, I tried two varieties of banana snacks from the Barnana brand--their original, plain banana bites, and the banana bites dipped in peanut butter.  Since peanut butter is my second favorite food, I clearly was hedging my bets with this latter choice.

     The Barnana company was birthed in 2012 by a man named Caue Suplicy, although a Nik Ingersoll is listed as a co-founder.  Suplicy was born in Brazil, and grew up enjoying the dried banana pieces that his father created using a device made from an old window pane.  Suplicy also found that dried banana chunks made for convenient and tasty food while competing in triathlons.  (Triathlons are a particularly grueling sport, usually consisting of swimming, biking, and running large distances back to back to back.)  At some point Suplicy had relocated to Los Angeles, California, and decided to go into business producing these same dried bananas, and later dried plantain snacks as well.  The company has flourished since, and is currently sold in such huge stores as Whole Foods, Costco, and Target, among others.  The major philosophy of the company (besides, presumably, making a good amount of money) is environmental sustainability.  The bananas and plantains used for Barnana's products are "upcycled," meaning they're from fruit that was going to be thrown away and wasted due to being overly ripe, scuffed up, and/or not in aesthetically pleasing shapes.  Instead these imperfect bananas and plantains are dried, processed, and sold.  The Barnana business is also reportedly fairer to the farmers in Central and South America which grow their fruit, in that they pay them 30% over market prices.  So, all in all, Barnana appears to be have its heart in the right place when it comes to minimizing environmental problems and not exploiting its workforce.  Alternate products include chips (crisps), nuggets, and scoops made from plantains, banana bites dipped in peanut butter cups and chocolate, and dried bites made from mango goldenberries and coconut.  Pink salt and lime are common condiments used on their banana and plantain products, too.  Not shockingly, given the company's other reported values, their wares are proudly touted as being free of GMOs.  Some, but not all of their products are Paleo diet-appropriate, and some are also vegan and Kosher.  For allergy sufferers, though, some of the Barnana items are made in facilities that also process things like peanuts, tree nuts, etc., so to be safe they should check each individual product before consuming.

Barnana original banana bites:  These kind of looked like chunks of brown bread.  The pieces weren't quite uniform--some were less than an inch (about 2.5 cm.) long, and some were a little bigger.  They were chewy, and alright tasting.  Not great, but they kind of grew on me.  They also didn't give me a sore throat or any stomach issues, so that was a plus.

Barnana banana bites, dipped in peanut butter:  Same size and shape as the previous ones.  But, there was one crucial difference--each piece was covered in a shiny brown coating, which reminded me a little of chocolate-covered raisins.  These were chewy underneath the coating.  The taste was better, because of course peanut butter makes pretty much everything better.  So overall a pretty good snack.  I would consider buying this kind again.  These had more calories than the originals, and had some fat in them, so they're not as healthy, clearly.  But the tradeoff for this is a significantly improved flavor.

     Just to cap this off, if you're curious about the name of the brand and company, Suplicy changed it to "bar"nana reflecting his belief that bananas are one of nature's energy bars.  The employment website LinkedIn had some more personal information about Caue Suplicy, too--maybe too much?  It reveals where Suplicy went to college, and how many languages he speaks.  Alas, this last bit isn't anything interestingly obscure, such as he's fluent in Esperanto, or even Klingon.

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Two Canadian-Made Kinds of Swedish Fish

      A month or two ago I was in the candy aisle at my alternate Shop-Rite, and discovered something a little strange.  Both the original Swedish Fish, and a low sugar version of Swedish Fish made by a different company are made in Canada.  So a competition was natural.  I bought both, and decided to see which was best.

     Starting with the elder statesman, Swedish Fish were developed by the Swedish company Malaco in the late 1950's.  (I know this detail is a bit vague--I couldn't find out who invented it, and exactly when, or a lot of other historical background information anywhere online.)  Malaco teamed up with the large British confectionery company Cadbury to distribute this candy to the U.S.  For those that are curious, no, the candy is not made using actual fish.  It's just that Sweden was, and presumably still is associated with fishing, so it seemed appropriate to mold the candies into a fish shape.  The original Fish were red, and the flavor was cherry-ish.  Swedish Fish were enormously successful in my home country.  At some point (again, details are frustratingly absent), the mammoth Mondelez International Group entered into a partnership with Malaco, and Mondelez now makes and distributes the candy in North America.  (Although oddly, some of the candy intended for Canada and American consumers is also made in Turkey.)  Malaco still exists, and still makes Swedish Fish, and other candies, for European customers.  I did learn that Malaco is abbreviated from "Malmo Lakrits Compani," and began in 1934.  Also, there is a slight difference in Fish made for North Americans, and those made for Europeans.  The former have "Swedish" embossed on each individual candy, and the latter have "Malaco" on them.  Moreover, in 2008 Swedish Fish got a jokey slogan--"A Friend You Can Eat."  (Technically, of course you could potentially eat any and every friend, but unless you're in extreme starvation conditions it's not usually socially acceptable, or legal.)

     The "new kid on the block," so to speak, is Smart Sweets Inc.  Again, it was a bit difficult to track down, but the founder appears to be Tara Bosch, who started the business in 2016.  If there was one thing I took away from the various articles and information about Smart Sweets, and Bosch, is that she, and her company seem to hate sugar with an all-consuming passion.  (I'm exaggerating a little, but still.)  Smart Sweets' candies avoid sugar, and even sugar alcohols, whatever that means.  Instead, the company uses stevia, and allulose to flavor its wares.  Their biggest selling brands currently are their Sweet Fish, Peach Rings, Sourmelon Bites, and Sour Blast Buddies.  Somewhat surprisingly for a health-conscious company, their products are not Kosher, and some are not even vegan (they use gelatin in some cases).  Their manufacturing facilities may process peanuts and tree nuts as well.  Moving on, Smart Sweets has succeeded enormously in its short life, and its products are sold in over 130,000 stores, and generated millions of dollars.  A business website listed its total employees as being between 51-200, and its base in in Vancouver, B.C.  Plus, for those that care, reportedly 80% of Smart Sweet's employees are female, although the CEO as of late 2021 is listed as being a Douglas MacFarlane.

Malaco traditional Swedish Fish:  The individual pieces were fish-shaped, clearly, and about 2 inches long by .75 inches wide (or about 5 cm. by 1.75 cm.), with "Swedish" embossed on them.  The fish were facing left.  My box had 4 kinds--the traditional red, orange, yellow, and green.

Red (cherry):  Chewy, familiar cherry flavor.  As good as I recall.

Yellow (lemon):  Not as good.  Same texture, lemon flavor not as tasty.

Orange (orange):  Nearly as good as the cherry--nice texture, and orange flavor.

Green (lime):  Probably the best.  I tend to like lime flavor best, in general.  Sweet, chewy, and tasty.

Smart Sweets Sweet Fish:  These were similar to the regular Swedish Fish, although there were subtle differences.  The fish were facing right, and were slightly smaller--1.75 inches long, and .5 inches wide (or about 4.5 cm. by 1.25 cm.).  The color was red, but slightly duller than the Swedish kind.  And "Smart Sweets" was embossed on them.  Compared to the Swedish originals, these had a softer texture, (although the Swedish Fish box I bought might have been older), not quite as chewy.  The taste was good, but not quite as good as the Swedish ones--the sweetness was noticeably weaker, and different.

     Therefore, gun to my head, I'd say the original, Malaco Swedish Fish taste a little better, but it's close--the Smart Sweets ones were decent.  And clearly many customers really like the kind with much less sugar.  So if you're looking to cut back on sugar in your diet, but still want the occasional serving of fish-shaped candy, the Smart Sweets' ones seem like a good alternative.  Finally, I should say it was a coincidence that I did a post about Canadian candies the same week the smoke from all those wild fires covered much of the Northern U.S.

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Three Flavored Vodkas, and a Piece About the Ending of "Dawn of the Dead"

      Today I decided to work on my post for this week, about some flavored vodkas from Truly.  I'd tried the vodkas a few months ago, so that was done, and started to research the beverage, and the manufacturer.  After that, though, I had some twinges of doubt, so I went through my old catalog of posts.  And discovered that I'd already covered some Truly products, in an article about some of their hard seltzers back on September 22, 2018.  This happens.  When you've done over 500 total posts, and probably at least 300 about weird foods and drinks, some repetition is inevitable--I can't always recall if I've tried something while  I'm standing there in the liquor store or grocery.  But, it wasn't a complete loss, as these drinks were at least not the same exact type I'd sampled before.  However, I won't repeat myself, so if you're curious about details of the Truly Distillery, or about the company that acquired the brand (Boston Beer Company, best known for brewing Sam Adams beer), head on over to that September 22, 2018 post.  Otherwise, I'll report on the Truly vodkas, and then move on to my comments on the ending of the original 1979 version of "Dawn of the Dead."

Truly pineapple mango vodka:  This one had a orange-yellow color, and fruity odor.  Its alcohol content was 30%, and it contained 5% juice.  I could detect the pineapple and mango tastes.  The actual juice probably helped with this.  I'm not a huge vodka fan in general, so the flavoring surely helped.  It was alright.  Not great, but okay.

Truly wild berry vodka:  Had a yellowish-orange color, and berry-ish smell.  Same alcohol content and juice content as the previous.  Kind of similar to the first one.  Okay, nice berry flavor--not too strong, not too weak.  Not awesome, but solid.

Truly strawberry lemonade vodka.  Same amount of booze and fruit juice.  Pinkish hue.  I could taste the advertised flavor.  (Which was okay, since I like regular pink lemonade alright.)  Nicely tart.  Maybe a bit harsher than the other two.  Still, not to be a broken record, but once again this was good, but not great.

     The fact that I liked, but didn't love these is actually quite a compliment.  Considering my very negative opinion of the Truly Hard Seltzers.  Which makes sense, since in general I like some vodkas (and especially some vodka-based cocktails), but have no appreciation for any seltzer.

     I did a trivia dive on the original, 1979 version of "Dawn of the Dead," (see my post on October 30, 2021), and have surely mentioned it a few more times.  With good reason--it's one of the very best zombie movies ever.  If it's not at least in your top 5 zombie films I deeply question your taste in living dead movies.  Anyway, if you haven't seen it, I couldn't possibly recommend it more.  But there will be many SPOILERS about the movie ahead.

     Being an obsessive fan, I've learned over the years from documentaries, and articles, that the original ending of the movie was different.  In it, Roger and Stephen expire as they do in the eventual version, but Peter and Fran die as well.  Peter by shooting himself in the head, and Fran by standing up and putting her head in the moving helicopter blades.  And I found this potential ending to be quite poor.  In the eventual version, Peter does contemplate suicide with a gun, but snaps out of it at the last moment and runs up to the roof and joins Fran as they fly away.  So if Peter did kill himself I wouldn't really like it, but it's not totally out of character.  But Frannie--Hell no!  Not my Fran!  In the earliest viewings of "Dawn" as a teen I liked all four main characters, but my favorite was Roger, as he was competent, but endearingly childlike and enthusiastic.  But the more times I've seen it, I've switched to appreciating Fran the most.  She has the biggest character arc by far.  She starts out as a television station employee, possibly a producer or something like that.  Or, essentially, she has no relevant skills in the living dead apocalypse.  She clearly has no weapons or fighting experience--she hadn't been in the military, the police, and she didn't possess any other survival skills.  She's a liability at first--Peter and the guys forbid her from joining them down in the zombie-strewn mall, because she can't be of any use.  Fran is almost killed by a single zombie (the Hare Krishna one) that manages to make it to their upstairs hideout.  But, critically, she learns.  She practices, and learns how to shoot, and also picks up how to avoid the zombies.  After a time she helps Peter and Stephen block up the four mall entrances to secure it.  Better than Roger does, as his carelessness results in his being bitten and doomed early on during this process.  And, very importantly, she's the only one to learn how to fly the helicopter, even though her boyfriend Stephen is clearly not very pleased to teach her.  Good old practical minded Fran realized that survival in this world required people to be as versatile as possible, and to be self-reliant.  Also, she's pregnant.  I don't see her going through all the travails and difficulty associated with this for 7-8 months only to decide to chuck it and commit suicide near the end.  In short, I don't think that Fran would commit suicide--she's too much of a survivor.  She seems like the weakest of the bunch at the start, but clearly she's the strongest of them, mentally at least, by the end.  Roger was fatally careless, and it costs him his life.  Stephen lets his greed for the mall and its contents cloud his judgement, and he engages the bikers, which results in his death, and revival as a zombie.  He could have just stayed quiet, and hidden, and he would have survived.  Finally, Peter was strong, psychologically, but as I mentioned before, committing suicide doesn't seem completely unrealistic.  But Fran would keep fighting.  Maybe she would eat a bullet if she was bitten, or hopelessly surrounded by a zombie horde (to protect herself from an agonizing death, and to protect others), but not if there was a possible escape.  Moreover, "Dawn" is an incredibly depressing movie.  Society has basically ended, and just about everyone appears to be dead (but not gone!).  The audience deserves a tiny ray of hope.  I'm not against bleak endings, wherein everyone dies, across the board (as in Romero's earlier "Night of the Living Dead"), but not this character, and Peter.  That would be too much.  Also, it's not like the eventual ending was some ludicrously happy ending--Fran and Peter have very little fuel left, so they might not survive much longer anyway.

     So, all in all, that's why I'm glad that George Romero rethought things and changed the ending to the one we know today.  It is amusing to see that the crew was very practical, though, and reused the fake Fran head in another scene.  Specifically, the one early on in the housing project raid, when the crazed Wooley shotguns a guy's head apart.  They just repainted the head, added facial hair, and filled it with a bunch of meat, fake blood, and condoms, and voila!--cool exploding head gag.  To paraphrase the common 1960's graffiti, Frannie (not Frodo) lives!  At least technically, as the movie cuts to the credits.  After that Peter and she may well have died quickly, perhaps a half mile away.  But not by her own hand, if there was any hope of getting away.