Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Turkish/American Watermelon Juice

      A while ago I was browsing the fruit juice section at my local Shop-Rite, and beheld some watermelon juice.  I've obviously had watermelon many times in my life, as well as quite a few watermelon-flavored products (some which used actual watermelons, some which used artificial, chemical approximations).  But never, to my recollection, the juice alone.  So, I gave this a try.  It was from the ISO Naturals company, which is based in NJ in the U.S.  Although the label noted that the contents were a product of Turkey (spelled "Turkiye," with an umlaut over the "u"), so presumably the melons were grown and processed in Turkey, and then exported to the parent company in the U.S.A.

     This is yet another entry in my growing-ever-longer list of companies which don't seem to want to talk about their owner(s), founder(s), or company history much at all.  The official website noted that they've been in business "nearly a decade," but that was it.  Alternate business-related websites like LinkedIn listed some employees' names, but none were the owners or founders.  I looked up the names that were provided online to find out what ethnicity they were probably of, and leaned that they seemed Turkish in origin.  So, it would seem that IOS Naturals was probably founded by some Turkish folks, or perhaps Turkish-Americans.  Sometime around 2015 or 2016.  Alternate juice selections include pear, apricot, cranberry, super chia, "forest fruits," "green," and "red."  Aside from juices, IOS also markets spreadable fruits, seeds, salt & pepper, oils, fig balls, dried fruits, and capers.  The business is extremely into being all natural, as their wares are organic, and lack GMOs, preservatives, artificial flavors, and added sugar.

     Moving on the fruit whose juice I consumed, watermelons are native to Africa.  Wild watermelon seeds have been found in Libya which date back 5500 years ago.  A melon in Sudan is a good candidate for being the original progenitor for watermelons.  They were domesticated in Egypt by 2000 B.C.  Although these early watermelons were quite different, with yellowish-white inner flesh, and a bitter flavor.  People have been breeding them for millennia to make them into the red-fleshed, sweet, relatively easy-to-open fruits we know today.  Also, botanically this large fruit is technically a berry.  In addition to eating the flesh, some people press the seeds for their oil, and some other eat the rinds after they've been cooked or pickled.  In fact, I've had the rind in pickled form--see my long ago post on May 12, 2013 about Ottumwa, Iowa cuisine for more details about that.

IOS Naturals organic watermelon juice:  It had a slight odor.  The color was reddish-orange.  The taste was rather thin, and kind of watery.  It wasn't terrible, but not really appealing, either.  Just bland.  Not that sweet, not that much of anything.  Kind of like the fruit itself.  I probably mentioned this in previous posts, but I don't enjoy watermelon, because of its watery blandness.  Therefore, it makes sense that I also find its juice to be dull, and not worth the trouble.  I was also surprised by how high it was in calories--120 per serving, which was 8 ounces (240 mL).  There was apple juice concentrate in it too--maybe the apples were the main culprit here.  Anyway, I won't be buying this again, which is pretty much what I figured, since this fruit doesn't dazzle me.  But if you're a fan of watermelon in general, you'll probably enjoy this.  I'll stick to eating watermelon in the only way I've really liked, which was pickled.  As I covered in the previous paragraph.

    

     I also noted that the label on my bottle said that the juice had been "flash pasteurized."  Which, as I learned, simply means that it was heated at a higher temperature, for a shorter amount of time, than the normal pasteurization process.  This is thought to preserve the substance in questions' color and flavor better.  Since this will still kill any harmful bacteria, this sounds like a win-win situation.  Certainly better than the foolish alternative of drinking non-pasteurized drinks, and needlessly risking getting sick.

     

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--American/Chinese Bean Snacks

      So this one came about a couple of months ago, at the same Shop-Rite I reference very often on this blog.  A bean snack, which was listed as being a "Product of China," but also mentioned as being made for a Bronx, NY company.  I tried two kinds--the garlic & onion sort, and the zesty ranch flavor, both from the Bada Bean Bada Boom brand.

     Bada Bean Bada Boom (for brevity's sake, from now on I'll mostly abbreviate this as BBBB) is a brand of the Beyond Better Foods LLC company.  Which is one of those firms that doesn't include much of anything about its founder(s), general history, etc.  I had to cobble these details together from alternate online sources, such as LinkedIn.  Anyway, Beyond Better appears to have started in 2012, and currently employs a reported 32 people.  The person (or persons) ultimately responsible for the business's existence is a little vague.  LinkedIn has a Maria J. Coria as the founder, but other sources note that the owner is a Michael Shoretz.  (Perhaps Coria founded it, and later sold controlling interest to Shoretz, or something.)  In addition to the BBBB snacks, Beyond Better also had (has?) an ice cream line called Enlightened.  As far as I could learn, there are only 6 flavors of the bean snack.  Aside from the kinds I tried, there is a sweet sriracha, a sweet onion & mustard, a spicy wasabi, and a sea salt kind.  The website is very health-conscious, proudly touting how much more nutritious these bean snacks are versus regular potato chips.  Not surprisingly, the website also notes that their wares are vegan-appropriate, kosher, and free of gluten, GMOs, and soy.  (Although their factories do process tree nuts and peanuts, so be aware of that if you're intensely allergic to these substances.)  Evidently the secret to their bean snacks' relative healthiness is the beans themselves, and because they're roasted in a limited amount of sunflower oil.  Also, it should be noted that the beans used in BBBB are broad beans, often known as fava beans.  (Yes, yes, like the ones that Hannibal Lecter mentioned.)  More on that later.  I also was struck by a slightly defensive sounding question on their FAQ section on the official website, "Why is Bada Bean Bada Boom made in China?"  Their answer was that the broad beans are best from China, as they are native to there, and that the factories in this nation are confined to the highest safety standards, and ethics.

 Bada Bean Bada Boom garlic & onion flavor:  The pieces were bean-sized, and bean-shaped, or roughly ovoid, with a brownish-yellow color, and a pebbled texture.  They were dry and crunchy, obviously.  I could detect the garlic & onion flavor, but it wasn't very strong.  Okay, but not great.

Bada Bean Bada Boom zesty ranch flavor:  Same size, shape, color, and texture as the previous one.  Dry and crunchy, like the previous.  Some ranch hints, but again, not a strong flavor.  Alright, but not dazzling.  I would have much preferred a stronger, more significant flavor.  So both of these are clearly more healthy than regular potato chips, but they don't taste better.  I don't plan on buying them again.

     Two additional points struck me about this snack.  As the official website admitted, and other online sources corroborated, there is a medical condition called "favism."  Certain people have a genetic disorder, called "G6PD," which is a type of anemia.  When these folks eat fava beans the results can be nasty--fatigue, dark urine, shortness of breath, pale skin, lower back pain, rapid heart beat, fever, and diarrhea.  And it's not just fava beans either--other things like anti-malarial drugs, certain antibiotics, mothballs (presumably from skin contact, and not eating!), aspirin, and even stress can be triggers.  Which must really suck if you're afflicted and need to undergo surgery, or travel to areas where malaria is a danger, or if you get a bacterial infection, or if you're just worried about the possibility of any of these things.

     Finally, readers might be curious about the odd name of this snack.  Well, Bada Bean Bada Boom is clearly a reference to "Bada Bing Bada Boom."  "Sopranos" fans will recall that the first two words of this phrase were the name of Silvio's strip club in the show.  And this in turn is probably a reference to a quote from Sonny Corleone (played by James Caan) in the first "Godfather" movie (1972).  But, there's more.  The first public and notable mentioning of this phrase, as far as I could tell, is from the 1958 Pat Cooper comedy routine, "The Italian Wedding."  However, it's evidently a fairly common East Coast Italian-American saying, meaning, "long story short," or "there you go."  The derivation of the phrase is vague.  Some think it's from the Italian phrase "bada bene," which means, "mark well," (or possibly "mind you," according to translations I could learn online) while others think it's the approximation of the sound of a drum roll and cymbal crash after a joke at a comedy club.  So there you are.  I love "The Godfather," and "The Sopranos," so I think it's a cool name.  But, it's admittedly a rather unwieldy moniker, I will say.

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Israeli/American Flatbreads

   So this product caught my eye a bit because of its exclamation point after the name--"Absolutely," or, "Absolutely!" with the punctuation.  When I saw that this was a product of Israel that settled it, as I was going to buy it.  I went with the "original" and "everything" flavors from the Absolutely! flatbread line.  Despite what Jake Jarmel would think.  (This is a deep cut sitcom reference--see the end for an explanation, if you need it.)

     As has happened quite a bit recently, this was a revisit of sorts.  Absolutely! is a brand of the NJ-based Kenover Marketing Corporation, which, as it turns out, has tons or brands.  Probably the most famous of these is Manischewitz, which makes foods like cookies, matzo, noodles, crackers, soup, gefilte fish (see my post on April 6th, 2013), chocolate and candy, oils and vinegars, etc., but is arguably best known for its wines.  But one of its other brands might struck a chord with regular readers of this blog--Kedem, makers of the tea biscuits I discussed in my post on February 9th, 2019.  As usual, I won't repeat myself much here--consult that article if you're curious about the company's history.  For those that don't want to go back, Kenover started in 1948, and its brands are exported to over 30 countries worldwide.  As for the Absolutely!, aside from flatbreads, the brand also makes crackers, pizza, and snacks, all of which are free of gluten.  And if you're really a history buff of my blog, check out my original post about gluten-free products, in my post about gluten-free beers on December 10th, 2012.

Absolutely! flatbreads, original flavor:  The pieces were rectangular in shape, about 13 cm. by 4.5 cm. (or about 5 inches by 1.75 inches), and look like matzo.  They were white, with brownish/blackish cooked or singed-like edges.  When eaten plain, the flavor was like matzo, too--blandish, some salt tinges.  As the base for a cheese canape the result was much better, pretty tasty.  

Absolutely! flatbreads, everything flavor:  These looked very similar to the original ones--same size, shape, and color, except that some greenish/black spice granules were visible.  Eaten plain they tasted like the original kind too--pretty bland.  Some spice flavor, but not much.  As before though, as the base for a cheese canape the overall effect was improved significantly.

    In conclusion, then, if you like matzo, you'll probably enjoy these as well.  But they'll definitely need some help in the form of a condiment or topping, unless you really like plain matzo-type flavors.

 

     Returning to the reference in the opening paragraph, Jake Jarmel was a character on "Seinfeld," played by Marty Rackham.  In the 4th episode of Season 5, "The Sniffing Accountant," (first aired on October 7th, 1993), Jarmel gets into a fight with Elaine and breaks up with her over his disdain for her overuse of exclamation points.  (For the record, in general I agree with Jake--exclamation points should be used sparingly, I think, or they lose their effect.)  I was slightly surprised to learn that the Jarmel character actually appeared in 3 episodes, and Rackham also appeared as a cop in "The Trip Part 2," when Kramer is accused of being a serial killer in Los Angeles.  Finally, in real life Jerry Seinfeld claimed that a former accountant stole $50,000 of Jerry's money to buy drugs.

  

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--South African/Belgian Fruit Rolls

      It happened again.  I was browsing around in my local Shop-Rite, and came upon something kind of exciting.  A food from South Africa.  (Perhaps my first?   I can't recall anything else offhand.)  Obviously, I bought it without much further consideration.  To be exact, the products I got were two kinds of fruit rolls from the Bear brand--their apple/pear/raspberry, and their apple/pear/mango kind.

     I spent a bit of time researching Bear, and hit an internet wall of sorts.  Basically, all I discovered were some product lists.  Aside from the types of rolls I sampled, these included Minis (smaller fruit rolls), Splits (combination fruit flavors), and Fruit Treasures (which are also a sort of tiny rolls).  Some of the fruit flavors offered were strawberry, mango, raspberry, blackcurrant, and apple.  My packages weren't labeled as being "Splits," but were clearly combinations of different fruit flavors as well.  Anyway, a little deeper searching revealed that Bear is a brand of another business, and doesn't appear to be a separate company itself.  One which I've already encountered--Lotus Bakeries, out of Belgium.  So, as before, I'll try not to repeat myself much here.  If you're curious about the Lotus company, head on over to my post on November 2nd, 2019, which covers their Biscoff cookies/biscuits.  And it appears that the fruit itself was grown in South Africa--hence the notation on the box.  Otherwise, Bear had an advertisement made for it which was directed by an Emmy winner--Anna Mantzaris did a Bear commercial called "Wildly Irresistible."  (Mantzaris, a Swedish animator and director, won her Emmy for co-directing an ad for Apple called "Fuzzy Feelings" in 2024 )  But the main memorable feature about Bear fruit rolls is what's included in the box, with the food.  They have several cardboard trading cards, similar in size and shape to the baseball and football cards I collected as a kid.  Sadly, I was a little disappointed in these.  The front of the cards were cool--stylized drawings of the beast in question.  But I would have liked it if the back side had statistics and/or fun facts about the animal, such as how big aardvarks get, or how heavy a sailfish weighs, or other bits of trivia.  Instead, there were just other pictures, or maze type games.  So, just a friendly suggestion to the folks at Lotus--maybe consider changing up the cards.

Bear fruit rolls, apple/pear/mango flavor:  The rolls were in a circular shape, about 1.5 inches/4 cm. in diameter, and about 1 cm./.25 inches thick.  The color was brownish yellow.  The taste was sweet.  I could detect the apple in particular.  They were okay, but not great.  Okay for a fruit snack.

Bear fruit rolls, apple/pear/raspberry flavor:  Same size and shape as the previous.  These were a purple color.  Better than the other kind, I guess.  I like raspberry better than mango, it seems, at least for these rolls.  Chewy.  Again, a decent fruit snack, but not spectacular or anything.  I prefer Fruit Roll Ups or Fruit Leather better.  (I'm not sure that either or both of these are still made, but I recall liking them more.)

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Canned Vietnamese/Japanese Crab

      A few weeks ago I took an unexpected trip down memory lane at the grocery store.  While in the canned meat section, I happened to see some canned crab meat.  Years ago, when I was dieting, I would sometimes eat canned seafood, since it's surprisingly low in calories.  While also being fairly tasty and filling.  As I was looking to drop a few pounds once again, I bought some more, both the crab, and some minced clams.  And by chance, one of the cans I picked up was from Vietnam, by way of a Japanese company.  Specifically, the "fancy white crab meat" from the Geisha brand.

     This brand name sounded familiar, and I did a brief review of my blog history.  I learned that I'd tried a Geisha product before, in my post about baby corn on August 13, 2022.  So, if you're interested in the company behind the Geisha brand, Kawasho Foods, feel free to check out that post.  But I'll refrain from repeating much now.  Instead, I'll focus on the animal that I ate.  Fortunately, the official Geisha website provided the identity of the exact type of crab I'd had, which was the blue swimmer crab.  Among other common names, as it's also called "blue crab," "flower crab," and others.  This species is native to the Indo-Pacific region, off the coasts of the Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, Australia, and of course, Vietnam.  Only the males are actually blue--the females are more of a greenish-brown color.  As the end of the common name suggests, this crab is a talented swimmer.  The males also use their substantial front claws to help keep rival males out of their individual territory.  Their claws, and evident aggression are of little use versus humans, alas, so this crab is a very popular food source.  They're sometimes eaten in their less mature, soft shell state, or later in their mature harder shells.  The crabs also do well when they're farmed, which clearly makes it easier to harvest them.  (Although my can noted that my crabs were wild caught.)  The blue swimmer crab's distinctive movements also have had an odd cultural impact, as it inspired the movements of some characters in the Filipino stage plays/festivals called Linambay, or sometimes moro-moro.

Geisha fancy white crab meat:  No real odor, surprisingly.  Looked like white mush.  And it was--it must have been severely minced, or even pureed, since no pieces were even as big as a grain of sand.  It tasted kind of like regular crab, but watery and weak.  (It had been packed in water, but I drained out what I could.)  I had this plain, as I always used to do with canned seafood.  Overall this was very disappointing.  I usually love crab but this was like the light beer of crabmeat--a weak-tasting approximation of the real thing.  I guess given its whipped up nature it's more intended to be added to soups or stews or something.  But I definitely do not recommend this, and won't buy it again.  I'll stick to canned seafood that retains its texture, and flavor.

     When I saw the brand name (again) I wondered if it was a bit tasteless, or even offensive.  I was under the impression that "geishas" were synonymous with prostitutes, and thus this might have been a rude term.  I was happy to learn that I this was cultural misunderstanding on my part.  I guess my first clue should have been that a Japanese company named this, and not a non-Japanese business.  The overall story is very detailed, but long story short, geishas were, and still are, performing artists and entertainers who do traditional songs, dances, and musical renditions, usually while wearing distinctive makeup, hairstyles, and clothing.  But nearly all geishas were not prostitutes, and didn't exchange sexual favors for money to their audience members.  So, at least this can of seafood ultimately led me to learn a little something about a different culture.  

Extremely Difficult Trivia About "It Follows" (2014)

      As I noted in last week's post about "28 Days Later," I'm trying to feature a few newer movies for these deep dive trivia quizzes.  Today's is only 10 years old, as you can see from the title.  I thought "It Follows" was great--about a totally new type of supernatural creature, with its own powers and limitations.  It's probably even a tad underrated.  So I'll try to help give it some more due.  And it's the same format as ever, questions followed by the answers, with many SPOILERS ahead.  Also, clearly, Happy Halloween to all those that observe this unholiest of holidays!

Questions:

1)    The opening scenes show a young woman who falls prey to the demonic "It" monster.  What's her name?

2)    In an early scene Yara is reading on a Kindle-like portable device.  What book is she reading?

3)    What is the name of Jay's date?

4)    What are the rules to Jay and her sister Kelly's Trade Game, which she plays on her date?

5)    Does Jay win the Trade Game?

6)    What reason did Jay's date give to choose the little boy for the Game?

7)    Which movie were Jay and her date going to see?

8)    What is the name of the movie theater they (briefly) attend?

9)    According to Jay, while they're walking around, what does her sister Kelly smell like?

10)   What is the number address of Greg's house, which is across the street from Jay and Kelly's?

11)   What card game are Yara, Kelly, and Paul seen playing while Jay's on her date?

12)   According to Kelly, when does her mom wake up, presumably for work?

13)   What is the professor reading to Jay's college class?

14)   Paul and Kelly both work at an ice cream store at an intersection.  At what two cross streets?

15)   According to Paul, behind what business did they find the porn magazines as children?

16)   Paul finds a photograph of Jay's date in a porn magazine in the dilapidated house.  Name the magazine.

17)   What school does Jay's date attend?

18)   We hear several announcements over the P.A. system at the school.  What room do girls interested in playing club lacrosse need to report to?

19)   And to whom should wrestler kids hand in their permission forms?

20)   And what show is this year's high school musical?

21)   What is the real name of Jay's date? (The one who infected her with the "It" demon.)

22)   Who infected this guy with the demonic curse?

23)   In the confrontation at the beach at Greg's vacation house, where does Jay hit the demon with a bullet?

24)   True or false?  The demon "It" creature is completely silent.

25)   What injuries does Jay incur from her car accident?

26)   According to the television broadcast, what is the name of the reporter covering the 4 alarm fire in West Detroit?

27)   According to Yara, how old was she the last time she went to the pool?

28)   What first life event did Kelly experience at the pool building?

29)   Did Paul used to pee in the pool?

30)   What street boundary did Yara's, and Kelly and Jay's parents not allow her to go beyond?

31)   While shooting at the It monster, Paul accidently hits a friend.  Who?

32)   Where on her body is the wound?

33)   What is the last name of Jay and Kelly?

34)   The It demon takes the form of strangers, and friends and family of its targets.  What people known to Jay does the entity impersonate?

35)   Where is "It Follows" set?

36)   When is "It Follows" set?

37)   For the It demon to be passed on, does the sex have to be heterosexual, or a certain type of sex?  In other words, does gay sex, or oral sex, or anal sex, or hand stuff count?  (Conjectural)

38)   Did Jay have sex with one, or all of the guys in the boat?  And did Paul have sex with one or both of the prostitutes he passes while driving?  (Conjectural)

39)  What old black and white movie are Kelly, Yara, and Paul watching at Kelly's house early on in the movie?

40)  And here's the biggest question:  Could you avoid the It creature for years, or even permanently, by traveling to an island, or another continent?  Would the demon have to walk and climb around on the ocean floor and all?  (Conjectural)

Answers:

1)    Annie.

2)    "The Idiot," published in 1868-69 by Fyoder Dostoevsky.

3)    Hugh, although we later find out that this is a false name.

4)    You scan the people around you, and pick someone you'd like to trade places with.  The other person has 2 guesses to figure out who you chose, and why.

5)    No.

6)    He has his whole life ahead of him, is happy, and (probably a joke) he can go to the bathroom any time he wants.

7)    "Charade" (1963).

8)    It's the Redford Theater.

9)    Cherry Coke, and banana nicotine.  Based on what's she's recently consumed.

10)   38748.

11)   Old Maid.

12)   5:15 am.

13)   An excerpt from T S Eliot's poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufock."

14)   Tyler and 12 Mile Road.

15)   Barry's Pizza.

16)   Playpen, which is a fake porn mag often used in American movies and television programs.

17)   Lawson High School.

18)   Room LT 431.

19)   Mr. Dwiggins.

20)   "The Mouse That Roared," which is based on the 1955 novel by Leonard Wibberley, and has been both a stage play and a movie.

21)   Jeff Redmond.

22)   An unidentified girl he met at a bar, and had a one-night stand with.

23)   The right side of It's head, and It's right ear.

24)   False.  In the attack at Greg's vacation house, it audibly hisses and moans at Jay.

25)   A slight head wound (and maybe a concussion), and a broken right forearm, which gets a cast.

26)   Rich Kensington.

27)   14.

28)   Drinking her first beer, which later caused her to vomit.

29)   It seems likely.  He brushes it off as no big deal, saying there are tons of chemicals in the water anyway.

30)   8 Mile Road, which is one of the borders of the city.

31)   Yara.

32)   Her lower right leg.

33)   Height.  That's in the credits--it's never spoken or written, as far as I could tell.

34)   It mimics Yara and one of the kids next door at Greg's vacation house, then Greg (while breaking into Greg's house), Greg's mother (while attacking Greg), and finally Jay and Kelly's dad at the pool building.

35)   The city of Detroit, Michigan, and its surrounding suburbs.

36)   Writer/Director David Robert Mitchell intentionally made this vague, and contradictory.  Characters have cell phones, so that suggests the late 1990's or beyond.  But the televisions are huge, thick, 1970's and 80's type monstrosities.  Yara's clam shell Kindle-like reading device isn't real.  The cars, clothing, and fashions are all mixed up, decade-wise.  This was all done to give the movie a timeless, dreamlike feel, and to make it weird and unsettling.

37)   This is unanswered in the movie.  We only see hetero, and presumably vaginal penetration sex.  But the writer/director confirmed in interviews that the It demon isn't homophobic, and homosexual sex will pass it on.  But as to what "base" will qualify, it's left unsaid.

38)   This is also unanswered.  Given Jay's reluctance to have sex with Paul right after Greg's death, it kind of seems like she changed her mind, and didn't have sex with any of the guys.  And it's also unknown if Paul has sex with any hookers.  But, on the other hand, having sex with strangers would be easier than with a friend.  Arguably evil, even if you do tell them what's going to happen next.

39)   It's the 1954 movie "Killers From Space."

40)   The writer/director directly addressed this type of strategy, and said the It monster could board a plane.  And therefore, presumably also a boat.  So apparently a plot to hide out in Tahiti or something, and/or to try to trick it into falling into a deep ocean trench forever probably wouldn't work.  Maybe the demon only walked in the movie because the characters never fled that far.  Since it probably can cover about 72 miles a day (24 hours of nonstop, 3 miles an hour walking pace), it knew it could approach them pretty quickly.  Although now I'm picturing the demon waiting around, frustrated, if someone was infected but went up to the International Space Station for months!

     For fans of this film, I just learned that a sequel is possibly on the horizon.  Filming may be taking place soon, and it may be released in 2025.  Stay tuned.  And I hope everyone has a great Halloween!

   

   

    

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Extremely Difficult Trivia About "28 Days Later" (2002)

      If you go back and look at the release dates for the movies I've covered in these detailed trivia quizzes, you'll notice that most, or nearly all of them, are from the 1970's and 80's.  With good reason--those decades are my favorite, movie-wise.  However, I do appreciate movies from the 1990's and into the 21st century.  So let's do one that's a bit more recent.  "28 Days Later" was an extremely influential horror film.  You can make a strong case that it reignited interest in the zombie movie.  Even if the creatures in "28 Days Later" aren't technically zombies, since they're infected living humans, not reanimated corpses.  But so what--they're certainly zombie-ish, in that they're mindless, savage monsters.  Anyway, let's get to it--normal format, many SPOILERS ahead, you know the drill.

Questions:

1)    The movie opens in the lab with the infected chimpanzees.  What is the name of this facility?

2)    While walking around London in the beginning, Jim reads a newspaper briefly.  Name it.

3)    Jim is seen reading a postcard from the bulletin board of messages.  What does it say?

4)    There's some graffiti on the church's inner wall in the stairwell.  What does it say?

5)    Mark introduces himself to Jim with a joke.  What is it?

6)    Jim reveals that he was a bicycle courier.  Where from, and where to, was his last assignment?

7)    Just before the news went out, there were reports of infection in what foreign cities?

8)    How long had it been since Selena and Mark had seen an uninfected person?

9)    What section of London did Jim's parents live in?

10)   What are the two lessons that Mark tells Jim?

11)   As they walk to Jim's parents' house, Selena is singing a song.  What one?

12)   What is the full message to Jim that his parents wrote on a photo of him?

13)   Mark tells Jim the story of how his family was infected, at a famous London location.  Name it.

14)   Two infected people attack Jim, Mark, and Selena at Jim's parents' house.  Who are they?

15)   Where did these two people live? (Before they became infected, and possibly after.)

16)   According to Selena, how many seconds do you have to kill a person after they've been infected?

17)   Selena mentions three different kinds of soft drink to Jim on the apartment stairwell.  Name them.

18)   What number flat (apartment) do Frank and Hannah live in?

19)   After welcoming them in, Frank offers Jim and Selena an alcoholic beverage to celebrate.  What kind?

20)   According to Frank, when did they lose water pressure in their flat?

21)   According to Frank, when was the last time it rained?

22)   The four survivors hear a military recording on the radio promising a place of safety.  Where is this located?

23)   What is the license plate number of Frank's taxicab?

24)   The gang stops at a grocery store for supplies.  Which store?

25)   Selena says she never wants to eat another chocolate bar again, with one exception.  Name it.

26)   What weapon does Jim carry on their journey?

27)   The gang sees horses at one of their stops for the night.  How many?

28)   Selena reveals her previous vocation on the journey.  What was it?

29)   Major Henry West describes the safety measures of the mansion he and his men are living in.  Name them.

30)   Which solider serves as the chef?

31)   Which soldier was infected a few days before, and is being kept chained up?

32)   What welcome meal do the soldiers serve to Jim, Selena, and Hannah?

33)   All the soldiers are privates, aside from Major West and two other men.  Name them and their ranks.

34)   One of his soldiers contemplating suicide inspired West to promise his men women.  (Consensually, or non-consensually, alas.)  Who was this near suicide?

35)   There are 8 men in the military group, not counting the infected soldier.(Question #31).  Name them all.

36)   What two soldiers take Farrell and Jim to be executed?

37)   Aside from the previously infected soldier (Mailer), which soldiers are definitely infected, and not killed outright?

38)   How many uninfected people does Jim personally kill?

39)   What is the message that the group leaves on the ground for planes to see?

40)   If it's been 28 days, how is Jim still alive at the hospital?  (Conjectural)

41)   The infected don't seem to attack each other, only non-infected.  How do they track and identify non-infected people?  (Conjectural)

42)   Since the infected are still living human beings, how are they still alive after up to 28 days later?  (Conjectural)

43)   The infected are silent, aside from inarticulate yells, moans and growls.  With one exception.  Name the infected who speaks, and what they say.

44)   What animals are afflicted by the Rage Virus?  (Conjectural)

45)   What famous hospital did Jim wake up in?

46)   What (famous, and to some, infamous) building do Frank and Hannah live in?

47)   In what county is the cottage where Selena, Hannah, and Jim are living in at the end?

48)   What brand of whisky is the one that Frank enthusiastically takes from the grocery store?

Answers:

1)    The Cambridge Primate Research Center.

2)    The Evening Standard, a real paper, which is now named The London Standard.

3)    "I WILL MAKE YOUR GRAVE FOR YOU ARE VILE   NAHUM 1-14."  This is quoting from that passage in the Hebrew Bible book of Nahum.

4)    "REPENT THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH."

5)    "A man walks into bar with a giraffe.  They each get pissed.  The giraffe falls over.  The man goes to leave.  The barman says, "Oy, you can't leave that lyin' there.  He says, "No, it not a lion.  It's a giraffe."

6)    His last delivery was going from Farringdon to Shaftebury Avenue.

7)    Paris, France, and New York City, U.S.A.

8)    6 days.

9)    Deptford.  Which is a real area.

10)   Lesson One:  You never go anywhere alone, unless you've got no choice.  Lesson Two:  Only travel during daylight, unless you've got no choice.

11)   "Abide with Me," a hymn written by Henry Francis Lyte in 1847.

12)   "Jim--with endless love, we left you sleeping.  Now we're sleeping with you.  Don't wake up. X."

13)   Paddington Station.  Once again, a real place.

14)   Mr. Bridges and his daughter.

15)   4 doors down from Jim's parents' house.

16)   10-20 seconds.

17)   Pepsi, Lilt, and Tango.  Which are all real sodas, although some have altered their names since 2002.

18)   157.

19)   Creme de menthe.

20)   3 weeks ago.

21)   10 days ago.

22)   It's the 42nd Blockade, on the M602, 27 miles northeast of Manchester.  

23)   6441 OHR.

24)   Budgens Grocery.  Which is a real store, and still around today.

25)   Terry's chocolate orange.  Which again, is a real candy.

26)   A baseball bat.  Odd that he found one of these in England, but whatever.

27)   4.

28)   She qualified as a chemist, known as a pharmacist to some folks around the world.

29)   There is flat terrain all around the house.  They have floodlights connected to a generator.  There is a high perimeter wall, and they have tripwires and landmines embedded in the lawn.

30)   Jones.

31)   Mailer.

32)   Tinned ham, tinned peas, tinned beans, and an omelet.  (Sadly, the omelet was made with rotten eggs, and was inedible.)

33)   Farrell is a sergeant, and Mitchell is a corporal.

34)   Jones.

35)   Major West, Sergeant Farrell, Corporal Mitchell, and Privates Jones, Clifton, Bell, Bedford, and Davis.

36)   Mitchell and Jones.

37)   Only Clifton.

38)   Davis, at the blockade, Jones with a bayonet stab, and Mitchell by slamming his head against the wall, and then gouging his eyes out, and back into his brain.

39)   "Hello."

40)   Evidently the hospital had a good generator, and its power lasted longer than the rest of London.  And the intravenous fluids continued to hydrate and nourish Jim until close to his wakeup time.

41)   Clearly noise and movement attracts them, so using their eyes and ears.  But it seems to be something else as well, as they can still tell the difference between infected and uninfected people.  In other words, even if an uninfected person stays silent, and motionless, the infected still seem to go after them.  And since the movie doesn't have supernatural elements, I think that uninfected people have a different odor, and the infected can detect them using their sense of smell.

42)   We don't see them doing it, but since they're still living humans, they clearly are drinking water at least every 2 or 3 days or so.  And probably eating something on occasion, too, since some would surely have died from starvation otherwise.

43)   The kid that Jim kills at the gas station says, "I hate you!"

44)   It seems to affect only primates, as it was a disease designed for them.  We see pigeons, seagulls, geese, horses, crows, and rats acting normally, and showing no signs or infection.

45)   St. Thomas's Hospital, a real London hospital.

46)   Balfron Tower, again, a real place in London.

47)   Cumbria, in the Northwest part of England.

48)   Lagavulin 16 year Scotch.  A real brand, and one that Scotch afficionados usually respect.

   

 

 

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Pumpkin Spice Liqueur

      Since it's Halloween season, I thought I'd do another pumpkin-flavored alcoholic beverage.  I think I've more than covered pumpkin beers over the years (see my post on October 31st, 2023 for the most comprehensive post about them), so this year I'll discuss a cream liqueur with pumpkin flavoring.  Specifically, the one made by the Pennsylvania Dutch brand, out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

     The ultimate story of the maker of this blog post topic goes back to 1884.  A French immigrant, Charles Jacquin, began a business that made cordials.  If you're curious, "cordials" seem synonymous with "liqueurs"--they're both alcoholic drinks made from spirits (a base liquor) flavored with spices, or herbs, or fruit, or sugar, or some combination of these.  The resulting beverages are often after dinner, or dessert drinks, also known as digestifs.  Anyway, Charles Jacquin et Cie, Inc., did well, and weathered the Prohibition years (1920-33) by manufacturing non-alcoholic cordials.  The move to the current Philadelphia location occurred in 1933.  In 1937 the first importation of a foreign beverage was started, with the French drink Forbidden Fruit.  By the 1950's, Jacquin's was producing over 40 kinds of cordials and liqueurs.  In the 1990's the firm began the Pennsylvania Dutch line, with their egg nog being the flagship offering.  Currently, and since 2020, the CEO of the company is a 3rd generation family member, John A. Cooper.  The label on my bottle notes that the producer is Dairyland Distillers, Co., but this is a subsidiary of Charles Jacquin et Cie, Inc.  Also, the company is itself a subsidiary of Chatam International, Inc.  And aside from Pennsylvania Dutch, some of the other brands under the Jacquin umbrella include Forge Vodka, Roasted Daughter, Irish Manor, and Rock & Rye.  Alternate cream liqueurs from the Pennsylvania Dutch brand include chocolate cream, salted caramel, egg nog, peaches & cream, strawberries & cream, peppermint bark, lemon cream pie, and American bourbon cream.  As far as how it's consumed, some people drink their cream liqueurs straight, some have it over ice, some mix it into cocktails, and some bake it into desserts.  Finally, Charles Jacquin et Cie, Inc. obviously focuses on manufacturing and distributing alcoholic beverages, with one exception--they import and sell French jams and jellies made by the St. Dalfour Gourmet French brand.

Pennsylvania Dutch Pumpkin Spice Cream Liqueur:  This drink had a light orange color, and a slightly spicy odor.  I had mine straight, after chilling it for a while.  The taste was like egg nog with pumpkin spice in it, or like advocaat (see my post on July 30, 2022 for more on that drink) with pumpkin spice in it.  Since I like both of those other drinks, and pumpkin spices in general, this was a compliment.  It was good.  Creamy as billed.  A nice odd take on an alcoholic drink.  I'd recommend it to those who like egg nog, advocaat, and also like pumpkin spiced things.  It also hid its alcohol content pretty well too--it's 14.75%, but went down easier than I would have expected.  Looking back, on October 23, 2021 I tried another pumpkin spice liqueur, from Bols, and I think this one was a bit better than the Bols one.

     As a preview for what's ahead for this month, I hope everyone likes horror movie trivia quizzes.  Because that's what in store for the next two posts.  Enjoy!

Extremely Difficult Trivia About "The Hils Have Eyes" (1977)

      It's Spooky Season once again, my favorite time of the year!  To kick it off, let's do a deep trivia dive into the classic 1977 movie "The Hills Have Eyes."  It's one of Wes Craven's career high points, that's for sure.  Brutal and uncompromising, and it still holds up today.  Alas, it did lead to one of Craven's worst outings, with "The Hills Have Eyes Part 2" but we won't talk about that.  Anyway, the usual format, with questions followed by the answers, many SPOILERS ahead, etc.

Questions:

1)    What is the name of the old man's gas station/store?

2)    According to the sign, how many miles away is the next source of gas?

3)    According to the old man, why were authorities investigating the area lately?

4)    What is the name of the town where the old man buys his supplies?

5)    To what city is the Carter family heading?

6)    The Carter family is in this remote area because of a gift.  What was it?

7)    Which family member gave the gift for Question #6?

8)    Bobby is wearing a t-shirt with a university's name on it.  Name this school.

9)    What number anniversary are Big Bob and Ethel about to celebrate?

10)   How much does the old man charge the Carters for the gas they buy?

11)   According to the old man, how long ago did the mine stop producing ore?

12)   Big Bob just retired from his job as a police detective.  From what city?

13)   What turnoff from the main road does the Carter family take after the gas station?

14)   In Big Bob's (sometimes racist) diatribe, who does he say shot at him on two occasions?

15)   What is the name of Big Bob's doctor?

16)   What kind of bird does Bobby see, and identify to Brenda?

17)   According to Ethel, via Marlon Perkins, how many feet long can rattlesnakes get, and in how many minutes can their venom kill you?

18)   Someone in the Carter clan is seen killing an animal.  What kind?

19)   Where is Doug heading to on foot, and about how far away is it supposed to be?

20)   According to Big Bob, about how far away is the old man's gas station from where the Carter vehicle breaks down?

21)   What beverage does Lynne express a craving for, along with a shower?

22)   The family discusses how their dog Beast killed a poodle previously.  Where?

23)   While calling for help on the CB radio, Ethel uses the wrong code word.  What is it?

24)   What call sign code identity does Lynne use on the radio?

25)   Where do Lynne and Doug live?

26)   According to the old man, when did he and his wife settle in the area?

27)   What was the name of the old man's wife?

28)   According to the old man, how heavy was his son (Jupiter) at birth?

29)   In what month and year did Jupiter burn down the original family home?

30)   How did Jupiter acquire a woman to breed with?

31)   According to Doug, how far away was the military tower, dump, and the end of the road?

32)   The feral family's Mama is seen drinking an alcoholic beverage.  Name it.

33)   A message on the blackboard by the door of the trailer says to call someone.  Who?

34)   What member of the feral clan syphons the gas from the station wagon, using his mouth and a hose?

35)   What brand of digital clock is seen in the trailer?

36)   What two brands of soft drink are seen in the trailer refrigerator?

37)   What three identifiable things does Mars eat in the trailer?

38)   What member of the feral clan fatally shoots Lynne, and then who fatally shoots Ethel?

39)   Who stabs Mars in the thigh?

40)   Who kills Big Bob?

41)   Who kills Mercury?

42)   What is the name of Doug and Lynne's baby?

43)   True or False?  The feral clan is seen engaging in cannibalism.

44)   While calling for help later, Bobby uses a different CB radio call sign.  Name it.

45)   What does Pluto say he is on the CB to fool Bobby into revealing important information about the Carter's situation?

46)   Jupiter accrues four types of injuries from Bobby and Brenda.  Describe them.

47)   Mars accrues several kinds of injuries as well.  Describe them.

48)   What is the eventual fate of the feral clan's Mama?  (Conjectural)

49)   Who killed Beauty (the Carter's female dog)?

50)   What is Doug's (and presumably Lynne's) last name?  (It's never spoken aloud, but it's in the credits.)

51)   Why didn't the feral family kill the old man (their grandfather) much earlier than they did?  (Conjectural)

52)   Where is the movie set?

53)   Was the feral clan inbred?  (Conjectural)

Answers:

1)    Fred's Oasis.

2)    200 miles.  When we see the maps, though, this is clearly an exaggeration.

3)    Because the feral family recently raided an Air Force PX.

4)    Corn Creek.

5)    Los Angeles, California.

6)    Big Bob and Ethel were given the deed to an old silver mine.

7)    Their Aunt Mildred.

8)    Ohio State University.

9)    Their 25th, or silver anniversary.

10)   $6.80

11)    40 years.

12)   Cleveland, Ohio.

13)   Strike Creek Road.

14)   His fellow police officers.  (Hopefully by mistake, but who knows?)

15)   Dr. Springer.

16)   A turkey buzzard, "the janitor of the desert."  (Online sources say it's really some kind of hawk.)

17)   20 feet long, and 8 minutes, or possibly, 8 feet long and 20 minutes.  In reality, 8 feet long is about the upper range for a large rattlesnake, but their bite doesn't usually kill this quickly.  It depends on the amount of venom injected, where on the body it bites you, etc., but most victims have enough time to get medical treatment, and survive.

18)   Lynne kills a tarantula she finds crawling around in the trailer.

19)   A military installation, approximately 6-7 miles away.

20)   15 miles.

21)   A gin and tonic.

22)   Miami.

23)   Instead of saying, "mayday," she says, "maypole."

24)   Mobile Unit 2345 CB.  Which is actually not their personal call sign, but the type of radio they're using.  (See Question and Answer to Question 44.)

25)   New York City.

26)   1929.

27)   Martha.

28)   20 pounds, and reportedly, he was as hairy as a monkey.

29)   August of 1939.

30)   According to the old man, "He stole a whore that nobody would miss."

31)   About 5 miles.

32)   J & B Scotch Whisky, the brand so popular in movies.

33)   Johnson, when they get to Los Angeles.

34)   Pluto.

35)   An Avatar.

36)   Coca-Cola, and A&W Rootbeer.

37)   A handful of raw meat (hamburger?), some milk, and the blood from the neck of the Carter's pet bird.  Also a bite of something greenish--maybe lettuce?  (I couldn't tell for sure.)

38)   Mars shoots both of them.

39)   A dying Lynne, using Pluto's makeshift blade.

40)   It appears to be Jupiter alone.  Possibly aided by Mercury, but everyone else is accounted for.

41)   Beast the dog pushes him off a rock overlooking a steep drop.

42)   Katherine, or Katy for short.

43)   True, we see them dining on Big Bob's remains.

44)   Breaker 1 Niner for KUY 9532.

45)   He pretends to be a member of Air Force Rescue.

46)   He's dragged on the ground through brush from the cable trap, he's part of, or at least near, the trailer explosion and suffers some burns, is hit by Brenda's hatchet blows, and finally Bobby shoots Jupiter twice, finishing him off.

47)   As mentioned before, Lynne stabs him in the right thigh, Doug shoves him down, and hits him with several rocks, including in the head,.  Then Ruby induces a rattlesnake to bite Mars on the back of his neck or upper back, and finally Doug finishes him with several stabs to the chest.

48)   It's unknown.  She's not at any of the attacks, so is presumably alive at the end of the movie back at the feral clan's home.  She's not seen in the 1984 sequel.  Jupiter, Mars, and Mercury definitely die in this movie, and Pluto was killed or at least mortally wounded (he's somehow resurrected for the sequel).  Ruby is getting friendly with the Carters at the end of this movie, and in the sequel is living in civilization, with Bobby.

49)   According to him, while he's fighting Beast, it was Pluto.

50)   Wood.

51)   I think they had a very uneasy alliance.  Grandpa Fred would trade things they needed for things they'd stolen or trapped elsewhere, since Fred periodically traveled to town for supplies.  In return, the family let him live, and he didn't turn them into the authorities for their (presumably) other thefts and murders.  It's only when he appears to be leaving for good that they kill Grandpa Fred.

52)   It's actually conclusively shown, as the Carters are looking at the map right before the crash.  It's in Nevada, in southern Nye county (which is huge).  The map shows that they're within or just west of the real Nellis Air Force Bombing and Gunnery Range, and possibly the adjoining Nevada Test Site (nuclear testing area).  They're either east or southeast of the real town of Scotty's Junction, and northeast of the real town of Beatty.  Very close to the border with California, and Death Valley National Park.

53)   Oddly, there's no evidence of this.  Mercury, Pluto, Mars, and Ruby all appear to be in their 20's or 30's, so it appears they're all the descendants of Jupiter and Mama.  (Or some or all were kidnapped from outsiders as babies or children.)  There aren't any kids young enough to be the product of Mama and Mars, Pluto, or Mercury, nor any of the male members and Ruby.  So, unless these children died or ran away, the feral clan doesn't appear to be carrying on incest.  Some rare civilized behavior!  Although, it looks like there's some issues with Jupiter and/or Mama's genetic line, given Jupiter's physical oddities, Pluto's deformities, and Mercury's apparent mental deficiency.  And I guess it's possible that they are committing incest, but there are fertility issues or something.  But I'm rambling, there's no evidence for it, which is the important thing.

     I'll end with a quote from Jupiter as he's taunting the corpse of Big Bob.  I find it ghoulishly poetic:

             "I'll eat the heart of your stinking memory!"

 

 

 

Interview with J. Rocky Colavito

        Today you'll be meeting another one of my "Scream and Cream" co-authors, J. Rocky Colavito.  His entry in that book is the disturbingly named "SporeGasm."  Anyway, here we go.   

J. Rocky Colavito is nearing the end of a forty-plus year career of teaching college students English, Literature, Rhetoric, Film Studies, and Horror. His classroom journey has taken him from upstate New York, to urban and rural Arizona, to the bible belt of Louisiana, to the urban sprawl of Indiana. He started writing horror very early in life, took a long hiatus because of a bunch of different factors, and returned to it in 2017 courtesy of a random opportunity to teach a horror writing class. Out of that came the short story “Red Eye” (published in Dark Dossier), and the collection Can You Handle This, My Darling? (recently updated to Malevolent Micros). Participation in a writing group led to his first paid sales and the beginnings of his association with Buck Neighkyd, his first serial character whose adventures can be followed in Caveman Magazine and in the novel Creative Control (Buck’s Origin story). He has subsequently published in a variety of horror genres ranging from quiet to extreme. He is the author of the Neo-giallo series (five works, and counting), the stoned cryptids series (inspired by Cocaine Bear, two books forthcoming in 2024), and professional wrestling adjacent horror (also forthcoming in 2024). He hails from Western New York, but calls Tucson, Arizona his adopted home. When he’s not curating his social media and dealing with his classes and grading, he follows local professional wrestling, the writings of a special group of author friends, and practices the arts of cooking and puzzle solving courtesy of the New York Times.

If you could talk to any writer, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you discuss?

Carl Hiaasen, I’d love to find out how he sharpened his eye for dark human, human folly, and environmental consciousness.

Do you plan your entire story or novel all out in advance, with a complete outline, etc., or do you just start writing, and see where it takes you, making it up as you go along?

Total pantser; I might have a rough idea of structure once I get started (ie when to change beats, add a killing or sex scene, and so on). I like watching the piece form organically.

How do you come up with your story titles?

Inspiration from past artifacts (lots of the Neo-Giallo titles reflect the titles of Giallo films), obscure stuff (nursery rhymes), twists on quotations, and my dreams.

What writers have influenced you the most?

James Ellroy, Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Carl Hiaasen, Jonathan Maberry, endless writers of Giallo films, the Rialto report, porn journalism of various types, Frank Edwards, Mickey Spillane, Dan Jenkins.

What is your current work in progress?

PCPiasa, the third novel in the Stoned Cryptids series (preceded by SmackSquatch and MethMoth—these are currently in limbo as the press that was going to publish them disbanded and a new one is being reorganized from the wreckage). This one involved another regional cryptid—a flying creature that is invulnerable to conventional weapons and capable of bringing down aircraft. Qulaifies as extreme horror because of the presence of sex and violence.

Do you prefer writing short stories, novellas, or novels?

Comfortable in all three. Preference is dictated by what the call asks for.

What is the best stunt, lie, or practical joke that you’ve pulled off?

Back in the day we used to wear athletic supporters that had this snap pouch in the front where you inserted the protective cup. I and a couple friends caught a frog and put the damn thing in the pouch in a teammate’s jock. He was in a hurry and put the thing on and the frog kicked> much hilarity. Those were definitely the days.

What is your favorite beer/alcoholic drink/wine?

Quit drinking over twenty years ago. Back then it was Corona with lime and tropical drinks (mai ties, margaritas, mojitos, et al).

What are your five favorite novels?

No particular order:

American Psycho.

The Big Nowhere

Kiss Me, Deadly

The Dragon Factory

Native Tongue

What are three things you wish you hadn’t done in your writing career?

Connecting with a certain person who is the source of constant travail

Trying to do everything myself (covers, editing, marketing, et al)

Waiting so long to start

What do you do to break a case of writer’s block?

I rarely suffer from it, when I do I start something else

Which book do you wish that you’d written?

American Psycho

Do you have any guilty pleasure reads, and if so, what are they?

Porn journalism.

What is the first book you remember reading?

The volume of a children’s encyclopedia on dinosaurs

Have you had any negative fan experiences, such as cyber stalking or the like?

Not from fans, just with another author/editor.

What’s your stance on reviews of your work?  Do you ignore them, read every one, obsess over them?

Appreciate them regardless of stance.

About allegory and symbolism—do you often intentionally insert these things into your stories?  Have you ever looked back on one after you’re finished and realized you put in some of these without consciously realizing it?

Not deliberately, and no, I don’t intentionally look for this kind of stuff.

How do you handle rejection from magazines and publishers?  Do you have any particularly funny or unprofessional rejections to share?

Shrug, say a quick thanks, and move on. When something's rejected it just means that there’s another place for it.

What is the most disturbing movie(s) you’ve ever seen, and why?

Full Metal Jacket—total dehumanization of the soldiers and what happens to the protagonist at the end.

Do you usually do a lot of research before you start a project?

Depends, I’ve done a lot of research in my time as an academic, so I draw upon that. I look up stuff as needed otherwise.

Most of my research wis watching movies in the genre I’ve chosen, or reading within that genre.

What are your feelings about your earliest stories?  Do you feel they still hold up, or are you a bit embarrassed by them?

They’re a starting point, I hope I’ve built on how I started.

What pieces of advice would you give to aspiring writers?

Grow a hide—people gonna hate and be critical, listen to the useful stuff, tune out the rest

Make writing a non-negotiable part of your everyday life. Don’t let shti get in the way of doing it.

Don’t be afraid to try new things

Listen to your characters; voice is important.

Just do it!

What’s your writing history?  Did you start as an adolescent, or was it later?  And then how long did it take before you starting submitting your work?

I’ve written on and off since I could push a pen on paper. I got to be pretty good at writing academic essays, and that’s how I spent most of my life prior to a few years ago making writing part of my life. I got the chance to teach a horror writing class for non-majors and that was the start. I did the projects for the class alongside the students. Self published a collection of micro fictions, and then got my first unpaid fiction publication from that class. My first paid publication introduced a serial character, and my first novel published by a press was that character’s origin story.

The movement into fiction from scholarship was abrupt, but it is how I’m going to spend my retirement.

Are there any topics that you refuse to write about, because you think they’re in bad taste, or are too extreme?  Explain

I try not to kill animals “on screen” and I won’t include graphic child exploitation. Children do die, but not in the way that adults do. I’m pretty cool with writing extreme horror, so I have few to no boundaries. 

What’s your post-writing process?  Do you edit extensively?  Do you use beta readers or writing groups?

Spell and grammar check, post submission edits with line editing as needed. I also edit as I go.

How much of your work is based on your personal experiences, such as work, relationships, and so on?

Not much, I have set works on college campuses so a lot of that is informed by places I’ve worked or attended. I do keep an ear to the ground for news of the weird emanating from colleges and universities, and I’ve personally lived and experienced a lot of weirdness in my forty some years of teaching. Characters may be composites of people I’ve known or heard about. Situations may be similar, but not exactly so. 

Do you have any writing rituals, such as doing it at a regular time every day, or writing in public places, or while listening to music?

I pretty much write after dinner, but am trying to do it earlier in the morning before doing other stuff. I don’t have rituals per se other than eating some kind of snack that’s bad for me while I write. I’m really partial to large size Smarties at the moment.

What famous books and movies do you think are underrated, and why?

Original Godzilla in Japanese; it’s a textbook on allegory

The Fog—an excellent take on The Crazies

The Crazies (original)—unsettling because it’s something that could happen

The Children of Ravensback—cries for a quality remake, also chilling because of the basis in reality

What famous books and movies do you think are overrated, and why?

Everything by Stephen King after The Stand—too ponderous and self absorbed

The Walking Dead series—too many spin offs and overstayed the welcome

 

 You’ve been a writer, editor, and publisher.  Which of these is your favorite?  And has serving as the latter two changed you as a writer?

Actually, I’ve only been a writer, so I can’t talk about the other two. But watching others put collections together is super fascinating and instructive.

 As an editor/publisher, what’s the most unprofessional and/or crazy experience you’ve had with a writer, or submitter?

I’ll flip this and speak to an unpleasant experience with an editor who engaged in a destructive back and forth with the head of a press I was attached to. I was put in a position to have to choose sides and ended up having four items being put in limbo as a result of the press collapsing. I cut off contact with the troublesome editor, who then had the sack to contact me through an intermediary in an effort to mend fences and get me to contribute to another one of his projects.

Otherwise, things have been positive.

     I'd like to thank Rocky for stopping by, and letting us know a bit about him.  Be sure to check out his books.   And obviously, don't forget about "Scream and Cream," available now on Amazon, in both ebook and paperback.

The Release Date for "Scream and Cream" is Here!!

 

     I'm very excited to announce that the anthology I've been referencing for the past few months is finally out, and available.  Both as a Kindle ebook, or as a paperback.  Brought to us from the fine folks at Crimson Cult Media, and publisher/editor/author Marie Lestrange.  Next, I'll introduce the 13 people who have stories in this horror/erotica book.  They are:

Carietta Dorsch

Paul Lonardo  (whose interview was just published here 3 days ago--check it out)

Bert Lestrange

Shaun Avery

K.L. Rassmussen

Yvon Wang

C.C. Parker

D.W. Milton

J. R. Santos

K.L. Massey

Myself, Paul Stansfield

Marie Lestrange

J. Rocky Colavito  (whose interview you can read here this Saturday, the 28th)

     Here's the preorder buy link to Amazon again, which also includes more information about the book:

                                     SCREAM AND CREAM PreOrder   

     (Just in case this preorder link isn't still working, you can obviously reach the page for "Scream and Cream" by typing this name in the search bar on Amazon.)

     Also, if you'd like to read some reviews and ratings about this book before purchasing, you can head on over to Goodreads.  As of now there are 5 ratings and 4 reviews, all very positive.

     So what are you waiting for?  Get yourself a copy and be disturbed, frightened, and a little turned on, all at the same time! 

Interview With Author Paul Lonardo

      As I've been mentioning for the past month or two, the "Scream and Cream" anthology of which I'm a participant in, is due out soon.  In three days, actually.  Normally I post on Saturdays only, but I'll be making an exception next Tuesday, September 24th for the book's release day.  Stop by then for much more information about "Scream and Cream," such as an author list, ordering info, etc.  To whet your appetite, today I'll be interviewing one of my co-authors, Paul Lonardo.  He shares a birthplace with horror legend H.P. Lovecraft, and.....I'll let him take over from here.  A blurb about his story in "Scream and Cream" is included at the end of this interview.  Enjoy! 

 

                                                                           

I am a freelance writer and author with numerous titles, both nonfiction and fiction books, across multiple genres. I have placed short fiction and nonfiction articles in various magazines and ezines. I am a contributing writer for Tales from the Moonlit Path, The Smithfield Times, and ShopinRI magazine. I am an active HWA member.

Instagram: PaulLonardo13

Twitter: @PaulLonardo

Author Website: https://www.thegoblinpitcher.com/

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-lonardo-b88b4b12/

Alignable: https://www.alignable.com/lincoln-ri/paul-lonardo-palonardo-aol-com-author-ghostwriter

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/paul-lonardo

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/734960.Paul_Lonardo

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/paul%20lonardo/_/N-8q8

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Paul-Lonardo/e/B000APQ0Z4/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_ebooks_1

 

 

1.               Do you plan your entire story or novel all out in advance, with a complete outline, etc., or do you just start writing, and see where it takes you, making it up as you go along?

 

I usually let the story take me where it wants to go. For longer projects, a novella or novel, I’ll plot out some points that I want to reach so I don’t meander too much, but I find that when I get a kernel of an idea for a story, it is usually going to pop for me if I put the time in to write it to completion.

 

 

2.               How do you come up with your story titles?

 

A lot of the time I come up with a title first, even if I don’t have an idea for the story itself. I have lists of potential titles for stories. Although, it is difficult to be original no matter how obscure the title sounds. It’s always disappointing to search and find that the title has been used already, often by multiple authors in different genres.

3.               What writers have influenced you the most?

 

Since I continue to read whenever I can, I continue to be influenced by writers and books. These days, it’s more lesser-known or unknown writers whose books I will pick up. But as far as those writers who have influenced me to become a writer, I have to credit Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Robert R. McCammon, Dean Koontz, to name a few.

4.               What is your current work in progress?

I am writing a lot of short fiction at this time, checking the submission calls of various genre magazines and ezines. They are very inspirational in getting the creative juices flowing. With a theme and a deadline, it becomes a challenge and it’s a great test to see how you are improving as a writer.

5.               Do you prefer writing short stories, novellas, or novels?

 

Short stories have always been a favorite of mine. Maybe that’s because I grew up reading comic books (some superhero comics, but mostly the horror comics). The tales were short and exciting, with new ones every month that I couldn’t wait to read.

 

6.               What is your favorite beer/alcoholic drink/wine?

 

Wine is my go-to adult beverage of choice, but since I discovered the espresso martini, my wine rack has been gathering dust and aging, which is okay.

7.            What are three things you wish you hadn’t done in your writing career?

 

There is one major thing I wish I hadn’t done, and that is starting later in life. If I had less self-doubt and been more serious about my writing when I was younger, I could have enjoyed the entire experience longer, including all the ups and downs that come with the profession.

8.            What do you do to break a case of writer’s block?

Being the quintessential Taurus, I try to push through it, that whole DON’T GET IT RIGHT, GET IT WRITTEN attitude. What writer’s block may be is simple lack of inspiration, but that can come at any time. You have to be open to it. If you give up, you’ll never know what you might have had. How often do you hear writers, as well as other artists, express surprise by how well a book (or song, or anything else they created) was received by other people.

 

9.            Do you have any guilty pleasure reads, and if so, what are they?

Sadly, I’m one of those people who keep the supermarket tabloids in business. I blame my mother, God rest her soul. She always made me buy those gossip rags for her, and every once in a while I find myself reaching for one while waiting in line.

10.            What is the first book you remember reading?

 

I can’t say for certain if it was the very first, but it had to be close, and it was one I took out of the school library numerous times. And that would be Maurice Sendak’s classic, Where the Wild Things Are. Love it to this day. I own a copy now, got if for my son when he was young. I actually got it for me, but that’s just between us.

                                                                  

11.            Have you had any negative fan experiences, such as cyber stalking or the like?

 

Does my wife count? Just kidding. She’s my best fan. Come to think of it, she’s my only fan.

12.            What’s your stance on reviews of your work?  Do you ignore them, read every one, obsess over them?

 

I prefer not to look at personal reviews, good, bad or indifferent, unless they come from another writer/editor/publisher with constructive criticism. Once a book is out, there’s nothing that can be done. Some will like it, some will not like, others may be in the middle somewhere, and that’s fine. That’s part of it. You have to take the good with the bad, but I won’t obsess over it.

13.            About allegory and symbolism—do you often intentionally insert these things into your stories?  Have you ever looked back on one after you’re finished and realized you put in some of these without consciously realizing it?

As a young writer, I would intentionally use symbolism whenever I could, but I eventually realized that this heavy-handed manner of storytelling can sometimes detract more than benefit a narrative. Symbolism is best when subtle, and it is most effective when done on a subconscious level. As a more experienced writer, it becomes something that you’re not even aware you’re doing. When you go back after and notice it, that’s when you know you’re onto something.

14.            How do you handle rejection from magazines and publishers?  Do you have any particularly funny or unprofessional rejections to share?

 

Rejection is part of the process, and I’m at the point where I expect a large percentage of submissions to be rejected. It’s a numbers game, so when a story does get accepted, I’m ecstatic about it because it’s like winning the lottery. Not getting any response is the worst because many publishers still ask that you not to simultaneously submit your story elsewhere. I say submit it everywhere at once. If you want to increase your chance of winning the lottery, you have to buy more than one ticket.

15.            What is the most disturbing movie(s) you’ve ever seen, and why?

No matter how many times I see it, The Exorcist continues to scare the crap out of me. A half a century since its release, it’s as disturbing as ever. It has aged remarkably well, though it’s clear that movies have a much faster pace today. Still, you get pulled into the film by the story and its characters, and don’t realize that the possession sequences do not occur until the very end of the movie.

16.            Do you usually do a lot of research before you start a project?

 

I do plenty of research, but I would say that most of the research happens during the writing process, not before I begin the project, though I do some there, as well.

17.            What are your feelings about your earliest stories?  Do you feel they still hold up, or are you a bit embarrassed by them?

I don’t know if ‘embarrassed’ would be the right word to describe my feelings about my earliest works, but they certainly need a rewrite. Which is why I don’t like to read my older stories, unless my intent is to rewrite and release an updated version. If my writing style and knowledge of myself, life, and the human condition hasn’t changed since I wrote my first piece, I’d be in a lot of trouble as writer.

18.            What pieces of advice would you give to aspiring writers?

 

Well, I am often asked what advice I have for someone who wants to pursue a career in writing. My response is always the same. It may sound cliched, but the simplest things are sometimes the solutions to biggest dilemmas. If writing is something you really enjoy, don’t let anything stop you, no matter how little time you have to devote to it. Always write for you first, write what interests you, and the readers who find you will be lucky they did.

19.            What’s your writing history?  Did you start as an adolescent, or was it later?  And then how long did it take before you starting submitting your work?

 

I’ve been writing in various forms most of my life, though my initial interest was in cinema and filmmaking. I was in high school when I borrowed a friend’s Super-8 movie camera, which touched off a personal, creative spark. I began making my own blend of action and horror movies. I wrote the scripts and was behind the camera shooting scenes around the neighborhood with my friends playing the parts.

 

We had lots of laughs making those movies. I took it more seriously because they were all projects I had envisioned, and I wanted to see them through to completion. It was really a creative outlet that I was experimenting with, and the experience got me thinking seriously about screenwriting. In those early years, I went to movies all the time, so I learned everything I could about how screenplays were written and tried my hand at them, writing several original stories for the screen. They were certainly awful, but they were mine.

 

Growing up in the 80s, I was a fan of dark fantasy and horror, in books as well as film, so when I turned to other forms of writing this was the genre I focused on.

 

Stephen King and other contemporary horror writers influenced me in those years when I started writing my own short fiction, developing ‘my voice,’ as they say about a writer’s early efforts.

 

I’ve written more than twenty books to date, including novels, novellas, short story collections, as well as a host of nonfiction titles, and recently a book of haiku poems, naturally in the horror genre, where they are called horrorku. I continue to work with other people on collaborative nonfiction projects, and I also ghostwrite and edit books for aspiring authors.

 

As evidenced from my list of books, there are numerous other genres represented in my fiction besides horror, including romance and a children’s adventure novel. My nonfiction ranges from true crime, to sports, to biographies, and assisting others with their autobiographies. I really enjoy the challenge of writing in a genre that is new to me. It keeps me feeling fresh and eager to learn different styles of writing and approaches to a topic or subject matter. This also ensures that I continue reading, because you have to read in the genre you are writing.

 

20.            What’s your post-writing process?  Do you edit extensively?  Do you use beta readers or writing groups?

Editing doesn’t really stop for me. Today, with self-published works, even when the book is released, there is the capability of rewriting and uploaded the new version. It’s dangerous only because touching up a story can literally go on forever. At some point, however, you just have to let the story go and stand on its own, in the same manner you have to do when your child reaches a certain age. There’s always a new story to create. And that’s what’s so great about writing.

                                                                       

21.            How much of your work is based on your personal experiences, such as work, relationships, and so on?

 

Experience, not much. My work is based largely on curiosity. Something sparks my imagination and makes me want to explore a topic, subject or emotion. Life experience is another matter altogether. The mature writer you become understands so much more about…well, everything, than the novice writer you once were. There is no shortcut to this life knowledge, but it seeps into your writing every step of the way.

22.            Do you have any writing rituals, such as doing it at a regular time every day, or writing in public places, or while listening to music?

For me, a comfortable place to write is important, and I actually have two places I can work. Which location I use depends on the time of the year. Besides the quiet and still of the night that I prefer, I also require cooler air temperatures. In the summer, I have a basement office area that is always cooler than the rest of the house. In the winter, the upstairs living room is where I’ll be working, with a window air conditioning unit at the ready if the heat ticks up to high.

 

 

23.             You’ve been a writer, editor, and publisher.  Which of these is your favorite?  And has serving as the latter two changed you as a writer?

 

Writing is first and foremost my favorite. Editing is my least favorite because it is less creative and more tedious, but it probably the most import part of the process and essential to creating a really good book. So, if you should ever find a really good editor, hang on to them for dear life. Publishing can be fun, but time-consuming. I should do more promoting of my own work, but I always end up jumping right into a new project.

     And here is a short blurb for Paul's contribution to "Scream and Cream," titled "Rebirth."

Rebirth plays off the frightening legend of the Hindu Goddess Chhinnamasta, who is represented by a headless woman. Her image symbolically represents sexual restraint. When a young man seeks out a woman that he does not know to enlighten him on the pleasures of tantric sex, he gets a whole lot more than he bargained for. This erotic/horror tale could be described as fifty shades of red