Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Ouzo, and a Writing Announcement

      It's been a while, so let's discuss an alcoholic beverage again.  My favorite type of hard liquor--one flavored with anise.  Today's post is about the Greek version of this, called ouzo.  The one I tried was Ouzo 12, from Kaloyiannis--Koutsikos SA Volos.

     According to what I read online, ouzo's origins date back to the 14th century, when monks on Mt. Athos made a liquor called tsipouro.  One version of this was flavored with anise.  Then, skip ahead several hundred years, after Greek independence in the 19th century, when Greeks began making their own liquors again.  In 1856 a man named Nikolaos Katsaros began distilling ouzo in the town of Tyrnavos, which he dubbed Tyrnavou.  Ouzo got a real boost in popularity when another anise-flavored drink, absinthe, was banned in much of the world in the early 1900's (see my post on October 18, 2015 for more on that drink, and its banning.)  By 1932 traditional ouzo was made using a copper container for distilling.  Aside from anise, many other herbs and botanicals are used for flavoring, such as fennel, mastic, cardamom, coriander, cloves, and cinnamon.  Although exactly which ones, and in what amounts are usually a trade secret.  I also couldn't find out what grain or fruit is the base of the alcohol.  The resulting "ouzo yeast" is then distilled.  The beginning and end parts of this process are then removed, and distilled again, while the middle part is then the ouzo.  That's the traditional way.  Some modern distillers "cheat" by mixing the ouzo yeast with a premade ethyl alcohol, as this is cheaper.  Also, like champagne, tequila, and bourbon, only ouzo made in Greece, using some proscribed manufacturing methods, can legally be marketed as "ouzo," at least in the EU.  For example, all official ouzo has to use at least 20% ouzo yeast to qualify, and the result must have an alcoholic content of between 37.5 to 50%.  Then there's the mystery of the name.  Reportedly, back in the 1800's silkworm cocoons were stamped "uso Marsiglia," or "for use in Marseille."  This became synonymous with saying something was of "superior quality."  Then a visiting doctor had some of the traditional Greek liquor and loved it, remarking it was "uso Marsiglia," and the first part of the expression stuck as the name.  Although others claim the name is from the Turkish word for grape, "uzum."  (Maybe grapes are the base for ouzo sometimes?)  As with other anise liquors, consumers often mix it with water and/or ice, which often causes the resulting mixture to go milky white, called the "louching."  Other drinkers take it straight, but combined with food such as fish, fries (chips), olives, cheese, etc.

     On the bottle I bought it mentions that its ouzo has been made since 1880.  Although this evidently refers to the original recipe or tradition, since the company has only been bottling it since 1950.  The website offers yet another explanation of the name "ouzo," as it claims it comes from the Italian word meaning aniseseed, "uso."  (For the record, when I looked online, sites said "uso" means "use" in Italian, and "aniseseed" in Italian is "seme d'anice," so this explanation doesn't appear correct.  Although I'm not a linguist, nor do I know anything about Italian, so keep that in mind.)  Kaloyiannis-Koutsikos (sometimes rendered with a "g" replacing the "y" in the first part of the name), is in turn owned by W.S. Karoulias.  This larger company partners with many other wineries, distilleries, and breweries.  Some examples include Anhydrous, Barafakas, Lakonia, Yamas, Paulaner, and Jagermeister.  Additionally, the "12" part of the title is a call back to the number put on ouzo barrels dating back to the 1880's.

Ouzo 12:  It had a clear color, and an anise-y odor.  The taste was also anise-y, or to my palate, good.  As far as other anise-flavored liquors, I thought it was considerably better than aguardiente, but not as great as Arak Razzouk.  Or about on par with Yeni Raki or Sambuca.  Which all means that it was tasty, and I quite enjoyed it.  If you like anise flavoring, you'll probably like this one, too.  The anise flavor was bold, and strong enough.  I had mine plain, as a shot.  I didn't feel the need to water or ice it down, so I didn't get the louching effect or anything.  So overall a more than solid booze, and I would recommend it.  

     We're not done with anise-flavored liquors.  We NEVER will be!  (Okay, that's an exaggeration, but hopefully there will be at least a few more.  Definitely sambuca (Italy), and perhaps Armenian oghi, Bulgarian mastika, and French pastis.  And any others I can locate.  And yes, I will cover non-anise liquors too--I'm an enthusiast, but I have my limits.

     Finally, I'm happy to report that "Death's Garden Revisited," the cemetery-themed anthology I was a part of which came out in paper format about a year ago, is now out in electronic format.  It's $5.99 to buy, or $0.00 if you have Kindle Unlimited.  So head on over and help yourself to some fun, poignant, interesting, and sometimes morbid tales about the places where the dead are buried.

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Cake Bites

      This was another in my long list of foods from my alternate Shop-Rite grocery, located a few towns over.  Specifically, something called cake bites, which are kind of a hybrid between cakes and cookies, brought to us by the fine folks at Cookies United, in Islip, Long Island, NY.  I tried two versions--their frosted coffee cake kind, and the iced blueberry cobbler one.

     The company that made these products is kind of in between, age-wise.  It's far from ancient, but neither are they a very recent enterprise.  In 1994 Louis Avignone and Wally "Famous" Amos founded the company, later known as United Baking.  Later, this was divided into two entities--the sales and marketing part called Uncle Wally's (presumably run by Wally Amos), and the manufacturing arm and parent company, called United Baking.  Cookies United is in turn a subsidiary of these companies.  And then there are four main brands--Cake Bites (which are the products I'll discuss in detail), Bake Shop Bites (which makes a few specialized cookies like macaroons and brownies), Cookie Jar (which sells kits for making cookie houses) and Baker's Baker (which handles gourmet cookies sales in bulk).  Aside from the two I tried, alternate flavors of Cake Bites include vanilla iced, sweet lemon layers, the chocolate tuxedo, strawberry shortcake, filled Cake Bites, M & M minis, crumbles, and Cake Bites associated with famous movies and characters, such as Marvel, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Wars, and the upcoming Trolls line.  If you're so inclined, the official company website also sells a decent amount of merchandise, such as t-shirts, hoodies, grocery bags, key chains, coffee mugs, and pillows.  They also encourage consumers to suggest their own flavor ideas.  Although I don't know what happens if they like your idea--do you get credit in the flavor name?  A cut of the sales?  Or just the satisfaction of knowing your flavor was considered good, and the experience of eating a (hopefully) tasty treat?

Cake Bites, iced blueberry cobbler:  These were little cubes, about 1 inch (about 2.5 cm.) square.  The cake part was in three layers--two yellowish-white layers with a blue interior layer.  And then a white frosting covering the layers, with blue and purple sprinkles on it.  The texture was slightly crunchy on the outside, with a soft cake-y inside.  And it tasted....like cake.  I like cake in general, and this was a good example of one, with nice blueberry and vanilla flavors.  And despite being boxed and bagged up (i.e., it wasn't fresh), the cake itself was still soft and tasty, not stale or anything.  I really enjoyed this--it was like getting little bite-sized pieces of cake, as a quasi cookie.

Cake Bites, frosted coffee cake:  Same size and shape as the previous.  Only this time the two yellowish-white layers enclosed a dark brown layer.  And the icing was white, but with light brown streaks.  Same texture as the previous.  These were quite delicious.  I'm a sucker for cinnamon, and this had a bold cinnamon taste to it.  Really sweet, and the coffee cake layers were good as well.  I probably like this kind a bit better than the previous, but that one was really good, so this isn't a major criticism at all.

     So overall this was an extremely pleasant surprise, and rates my strongest recommend.  A really excellent and new kind of dessert.  I will definitely buy these again, and will eagerly try the other Cake Bite kinds that I can.  My local Shop-Rite just started stocking at least one of these Cake Bites, so I might not even have to drive as far to satisfy my sweet craving.  And if I see the other three United Baking/Cookies United brands I won't hesitate to try them, too.

The 11 Worst Movies Ever

      For the past few years, when I've discussed movies they've all been ones I at least liked, if not loved.  Let's flip that around today, and talk about films I actively despise.  So I've thought about it, and I'm going to present my least favorite movies ever.  Movies that I, to paraphrase a famous Roger Ebert quote, "HATED, HATED, HATED."  Sometimes so much that I couldn't finish them.  (Although, I'm being fair--I'm not cheating and including films I only saw a few minutes of.  To be on this list I had to see a fair chunk of it-- at least a third to a half of it.)  As you'll see, there is a mix on my list.  Some of these choices practically no one enjoyed, others are considered mediocre, and some are even regarded as being very good or excellent by most viewers.  In other words, the average reader will surely disagree with some of my picks, perhaps strongly.  But I'm not being click bait-y here--these are my honest opinions.  And I'll explain why I hated each one.  So even if you disagree, you'll know why I feel the way I do.  Anyway, let's get to it.  These aren't in any particular order.  For each one I'll include their release date, and their ratings on both the Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB), and Rotten Tomatoes (RT) (Both critics' ratings and general audiences', in that order), as well as some info about their cast and/or crew.  IMDB rates movies on a scale of 1-10, and RT rates them as a percentage, and for both the higher the better.  And some SPOILERS included.

1)  Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966).  IMDB raring of 1.6, RT rating of 0%/20%.  The story behind this movie is pretty interesting.  Fertilizer/insurance seller Harold P. Warren met Academy Award winning screenwriter Stirling Silliphant, and bet him that anyone could make a movie.  So he did, on an estimated budget of $19,000, which even in the mid 1960's was miniscule.  The resulting film was barely released, and achieved little to no critical attention.  Decades later it was popularized by Mystery Science Theater 3000, and enjoyed a cult revival, as a so-bad-it's-good movie.  Alas, in my opinion, it doesn't qualify as this.  It's not stupid fun like "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959), "Battlefield Earth" (2000), "Troll 2" (1990), "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats" (1977), etc.  It's mostly just ploddingly dull.  A family drives around in the country and ends up at a house run by a sinister cult leader, who has a bizarre henchman and a harem of women.  And nothing much of anything happens.  No action, no gore, no sleaze.  Inept acting, writing, directing, camera work, etc.  There are a few laughs had at how terrible it is, but not enough.  It's only 70 minutes long, but it seems much longer.  Reportedly, the only "profit" for the movie was the young actress who played the little girl (Jackey Neyman-Jones) got a free bike, and her family received 50 free pounds of dog food!

2)  Meet the Spartans (2008).  IMDB rating of 2.8, RT ratings of 2%/25%.  Grossed $84,600,000 on a budget of $30,000,000.  Writer/Directors Aaron Seltzer and Jason Frieberg are the creators behind a slew of "parody" movies--"Date Movie" (2006), "Epic Movie" (2007), "Disaster Movie" (2008), "Vampires Suck" (2010), etc.  Most of which, inexplicably, made large profits at the box office.  Most critics savage all of these, as well as many moviegoers.  I had only heard universally bad things about these movies, but I decided to give this one a chance when it was on cable television.  (I didn't directly pay for it, fortunately.)  The critics were spot on.  This was a miserable experience to sit through.  As many have noted, classic parodies like those made by Mel Brooks, The Zucker Brothers, and the British comedy team of Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright/Nick Frost satirize a movie, or genre type with intelligence and humor.  Meet the Spartans, though, and by all accounts their other offerings, just reference other movies.  No sly takes on the story, they just have characters and sets that recreate the original movie(s), but they don't make a joke, or attempt to comment on it.  Instead, they just say some profanity, or do something disgusting, or fart or something.  That's all this movie was.  Incredibly lazy--the lowest hanging "comedic" fruit.  At one point, a character looking like mentally distressed Britney Spears is kicked into a well, while she's wearing a t-shirt that reads "Little Miss Sunshine."  That's the extent of the joke, it acknowledges that this movie exists.  That's the type of "cleverness" in this pile of refuse.  Its creators truly are a cancer to the film industry.  When something's quality is even beneath Kevin Sorbo and Carmen Electra's self-respect and "talent," you know it's bad.

3)  Jumping Jack Flash (1986).  IMDB of 5.9, RT ratings of 27%/58%.  Grossed 29.8 million on an 18 million budget.  When my family first got a VCR in 1986 it was almost magic to me.  I could watch any movie I wanted, whenever I wanted.  No more having to go to the theaters, or having to watch edited versions on TV when they chose to schedule it.  So I loved renting movies.  But, there was a catch--they cost a bit of money, usually $2-$3 or so.  Which sounds cheap, but when you're in high school, making $3 am hour, it's more significant.  My point is, no matter how terrible a rented movie was, I almost always gritted my teeth and finished it.  Not this one.  I should mention, I'm not a fan of Whoopi Goldberg in general.  I find her incredibly annoying in nearly everything she does.  With one exception--1990's "Ghost" was a good performance.  (She was annoying in that, but her character was supposed to be, so it worked.)  But JJF was too much.  I forget the plot, mercifully, but I clearly recall my rage at trying to endure this.  I think I made it about halfway through before realizing no amount of money was worth this.

4)  The Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977).  IMDB score of 3.8, RT's of 10%/13%.  Grossed 30.7 million on a 14 million dollar budget.  I'm a huge horror fan, clearly, and "The Exorcist" as I've covered before (see my March 5, 2022 post), is one of my very favorite films.  So I reacted to seeing the sequel with interest.  Linda Blair and Max von Sydow were back, and joining them this time were quality actors like James Earl Jones, Richard Burton, and Louise Fletcher.  Director John Boorman has made some good films as well, such as 1981's "Excaliber" and 1972's "Deliverance."  But this one was really putrid.  Again, I'm hazy on the plot details, something about a mind reading machine, another demon possessing Regan, and bees in Africa.  But I do remember it wasn't scary, wasn't interesting, and didn't add anything worthwhile to the original story or characters.  Much the opposite.  I've loathed many sequels in my life, but this is the worst one.  It's making me angry all over again, just thinking about it

5)  Revenge of the Dead (AKA Zeder) (1983).  6.1 rating on IMDB, No RT score for critics, 75% for general audiences.  It reportedly grossed about $208,000 (converted from Italian currency) on an unstated budget.  Okay, this one is obscure.  Probably only other obsessive zombie fans such as myself have even heard of this one, much less seen it.  The writer/director Pupi Avati is fairly well regarded in the independent horror circuit.  His "The House With Laughing Windows" (1976) was a weirdly fun outing for me.  But, this one was a zombie movie which forgot to add the zombies.  Almost literally, as I recall.  (It has been decades since I saw it.)  In it, there's something about a mysterious place called the K-Zone, which restores the dead to life, and people investigating that.  Anyway, I just recall being incredibly bored, waiting for anything to happen.  I think that there was one or maybe two zombies at points, who didn't do much of anything.  The movie wasn't scary, not entertainingly bad, not funny, and not compelling in any way.  I don't know why living dead fans often rate this one fairly highly.  One small crumb of a compliment--one of the movie's posters was undeniably awesome.  It features several zombies literally breaking up through the street and sewers.  The exact kind of cool walking corpse action that is sadly missing from the film itself.

6)  J'Accuse (1919).  IMDB rating of 7.7, RT scores of 67%/90%.  Reportedly grossed 3,500,000 on a 500,000 budget (French currency).  As you can tell from the date, this was a silent movie, and in black and white.  The basic plot is about dead soldiers returning from the grave to prevent further warfare.  Sounds potentially interesting, right?  It's not.  It was interminable.  I can barely remember anything happening, other than boring talking.  No interesting characters, or cool action scenes,  or scary moments, anything.  Plus, unlike a lot of pre-1950's or so movies, which were often short, like 70-90 minutes, this one was incredibly long--the version I saw was 166 minutes.  I only watched it the whole way through out of foolish determination not to let the movie win.  And I know some readers might be thinking, of course you found it boring.  It was a silent movie, a vastly different type of cinema, and you're too much of a philistine to appreciate it.  But, you would be wrong.  I've seen several other silent movies, and liked them, such as "The Battleship Potempkin" (1925), "Haxan" (1922), and "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" (1920).  So, all in all, potentially compelling idea but horrifically terrible execution.

7)  Movie 43 (2013).  IMDB rating of 4.3, RT scores of 4%/24%.  Grossed $32,400,000 on a $6,000,000 budget.  The story behind this is more interesting than the project itself.  Charles P. Wessler and Peter Farrelly wheedled, conned, and used all of their industry pull and influence to trick stars into appearing in this movie.  For years.  And for this.  It's a series of short vignettes of "comedy."  There are two different main wrap around stories, and I saw the version where kids are excited by a forbidden website which shows extreme videos.  My overall impression about this is what a colossal waste of time and talent.  Because here is some of the cast list--Elizabeth Banks, Halle Berry, Gerard Butler, Anna Faris, Richard Gere, Terrance Howard, Hugh Jackman, Justin Long, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Chris Pratt, Liev Schreiber, Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet.  Several big names also directed segments, like James Gunn and Bob Odenkirk.  And the critics were accurate--rather like with "Meet the Spartans," the short vignettes are tedious, obvious, lazy, one-note, and gross-for-gross's-sake crap (often literally!).  I'm not a Farrelly brothers fan in general, but this is still the worst thing they've been involved with that I've seen.  And it leaves me wondering--imagine if these guys had used all their power and influence to convince movie stars to appear in a good movie, instead of this!

8)  Head (1968).  6.4 on IMDB, RT scores of 71%/78%.  Budget of  $750,000, gross of $16,000.  What a disappointment.  Growing up, I really liked The Monkees.  Their music, and their television show.  (I know, "The Pre-Fab Four" didn't write or even perform, much of their music, but still.)  So hearing that this movie was a more adult, edgier project by them, not limited by 1960's/70's TV rules sounded intriguing.  And what we got was this.  It was the perfect negative stereotype of the arthouse movie--weird for weird's sake.  Like the previous film, this one is a series of short sketches, without anything really connecting them.  And it's.....nothing.  Not funny, not interesting, not dramatic, not incisive, with no engaging comments on society, nothing.  It's just random refuse, a complete waste of celluloid.  I tried to sit though it twice, and once made it through an hour, before I had to admit defeat and give up.

9)  Unbreakable (2000).  7.3 score on IMDB, RT scores of 70%/77%.  Grossed $248,000,000 on a $75,000,000 budget.  Yeah, I'm going here--fight me!  For the record, I'm not a big M.Night Shyamalan fan.  "The Sixth Sense" (1999) was good, the first half or so of "Signs" (2002) was okay, and "The Visit" (2015) was sort of fun in a so-bad-it's-good way, but otherwise, ugh!  But Unbreakable was terrible.  Such a dumb plot--a guy doesn't notice that he never got sick or hurt until a train accident in his 40's?!  But he's only affected by water?  And clearly Samuel L. Jackson's character was set up as an antagonist, only nothing comes from it.  The film just ends with no resolution.  I realize that they finally did a sequel much later, but I refuse to watch it to see how they explain everything.  Like a lot of Shyamalan's movies, this one had a decent set up, but a very lackluster execution and conclusion.  I found this film to be incredibly dull.  Even the characters themselves seemed listless and disinterested.  The time I saw this was at a friend's house, on home video.  Out of kindness I soft-pedaled how much I hated this at the time.  But I'll be more direct now.

10)  Eyes Wide Shut (1999).  7.5 on IMDB, RT scores of 76%/74%.  Grossed $162,000,000 on a $65,000,000 budget.  I'm normally a Stanley Kubrick fan.  He's had some duds, but I really like or even love "Spartacus" (1960), "Dr. Strangelove" (1964), "A Clockwork Orange" (1971), "The Shining" (1980), and "Full Metal Jacket" (1987).  Leading up to his movie, I heard that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise took a year or more out of their busy schedules, just to be part of this magnum opus.  And the result was this...thing.  Cruise plays a guy who is slowly involved in some conspiracy involving a sex club for the rich, while his marriage to Kidman's character is struggling.  Only, again, nothing really happens.  People seem to be following Cruise, threatening violence or murder, or something, only they ultimately don't really do anything.  In what was supposed to be a huge, revelatory scene Kidman's character breaks down and tell her husband a long story about being sexually attracted to some random guy one time.  Which somehow stresses their marriage even though, again, nothing really happened.  She didn't have sex with the man, or even kiss him.  She just thought about it, briefly.  Ohh, so terrible!  This movie even makes giant sex orgies boring, somehow.  To paraphrase Bart Simpson once more, "You know what's more interesting than nothing?  Something!"  And yet many viewers disagree with me, and loved Eyes Wide Shut.  Did we see the same movie?!

11)  My Dinner With Andre (1981)  7.7 IMDB, RT scores of 92%/85%.  $475,000 budget, and disputed grosses--either 1.7 or 5.2 million dollars.  This one had a potentially interesting idea.  It's a movie where 95% or more of it is the conversation between two guys at a restaurant.  But this movie is abysmal.  Because if your movie is just talking, the conversation should be....something compelling.  Interesting, dramatic, thought-provoking, funny.  Engage me in some way.  But it didn't.  The guy doing most of the talking, Andre Gregory, goes on and on about nothing much in particular.  Tedious tales about some theater troupe in Poland, interminable accounts of his family's problems, stuff like that.  For 111 minutes.  It was so dull and unmemorable that I can't recall most of it.  (Which, really, is fortunate for me.)  Somehow the man speaking is both annoying and forgettable.  And I like Wallace Shawn, but he's wasted here--mostly he just encourages the boring guy to keep speaking.  Plus, take another look at those ratings--people love this movie!  How?  I'm halfway convinced that people are lying about their true opinions of the film as a prank.  There are only two amusing things related to this movie, and these are jokes about it from other projects.  In a "Simpsons" episode nerdy Martin Prince is playing a "My Dinner With Andre" video game, with buttons for "Tell me more," and "Bon mot," instead of a joystick or firing buttons, etc.  And in "Waiting for Guffman" Christopher Guest's delightfully quirky character is selling action figures for the characters in "My Dinner With Andre."  (Get it, because there's no action in it!)  So like some of the other picks in this list, a germ of a possibly good idea was ruined with woeful execution.  Sometimes being creative and different aren't enough, you still need to entertain the audience in some way.  My only emotional reaction to this was frustration about wasting my time and attention on it.

     So there we are, my least favorite movies ever.  Feel free to disagree, or even criticize my criticisms.  Opinions are necessarily subjective, after all.  But for me these movies were the most miserable viewing experiences I can recall, and don't ever want to repeat.

 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Soppressata

      Today's focus is yet another happy accident.  I was looking for some pepperoni at my local grocery, when I saw packages of something called, "soppressata."  Obviously I bought some and brought it home.  I got the "sweet soppressata" from Fratelli Beretta USA, Inc., which in turn is the American affiliate of the Italian Salumificio Fratelli Beretta SPA company.

     Soppressata is a traditional meat made in Southern Italy.  Officially it's a dry salami.  There are two main types of it--a cured kind, and an uncured one.  There are also some variations about which cuts of pork are used to make it.  Sometime it's fine cuts from the shoulder, or loin, or from ham.  For others it's kind of like sausage or hot dogs, and created using lower quality, fatty scraps.  The name for this meat is taken from the Italian word "soppressare," which means "to press, to tighten, and to suppress."  That's because soppressata is traditionally pressed between weights for two days, before it's hung up to dry and age for 2-6 months.  It also tends to be spicier than most salamis.  These spices can also vary, but some common ones are salt, chili peppers, cinnamon, rosemary, black and red pepper, garlic, and even wine.  It's then consumed in sandwiches, as a pizza topping, as part of a charcuterie board, or on focaccia (an Italian bread).

     Online information about Salumificio Fratelli Beretta SPA was quite limited.  The business was started in 1812, in the Italian community of Barzano.  Given the name, and the fact that later owners are referred to as having the surname "Beretta," I assume the founder(s) were also surnamed Beretta.  And since "fratelli" means "brothers" in Italian, presumably it was at least 2 Berettas who started the company.  The business was local for over a century, only starting to ship its products throughout all of Italy in 1921-60.  The first American facility was in 1997 (New Jersey), and then in 2007 (California).  Aside from soppressata other products offered include salami, prosciutto, coppa & bresaola, antipasto, and mortadella, or basically, a slew of cured meats.

Fratelli Beretta sweet soppressata:  The pieces looked a lot like pepperoni, or salami--primarily red in color, with little white specks visible.  The pieces were pre-sliced into round discs, very thin.  (Which was different than what I'd heard about this meat, or seen in some online photos, which were the slightly flattened, oblong shape instead of being round.)  Plain the pieces were good.  On a roll with Swiss cheese and ranch dressing was better, very tasty.  Chewy and rich.  The slightly sweet and spicy meat pairs well with the roll, cheese, and dressing.  I would definitely recommend this.  I've already bought a couple more packs of it, and it's becoming a staple of mine.  If you like pepperoni and/or salami you'll probably like soppressata--they're not identical, but fairly similar.

    It only hit me later, when I looked up where in Italy that Barzano is, that I realized that Italian cured meat purists, if there are any (and the absurdist in me hopes so), might question my soppressata's authenticity.  Since soppressata is a tradition in Southern Italy, and Barzano is well in the northern part of the country.  This is kind of a moot point anyway, since mine was prepared here in New Jersey, and not in Italy (either North or South), but just throwing it out there.  It's close enough to count for me, because it's surely based on traditional Italian recipes and production methods, but to be a completist I suppose I would try Southern Italian-made soppressata if I encounter it, and compare.  

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A Pickle Juice Beverage--Yes, You Read that Correctly

      Recently, I was in the alternate Shop-Rite grocery and saw something new--a drink bottle called Pickle Juice.  As a lifetime Philadelphia Eagles fan, I immediately thought about the famous 2000 game wherein the Eagles drank pickle juice to combat the heat and ended up beating the tar out of the Dallas Cowboys in Texas.  Anyway, I checked out the bottle.  And it seemed to be exactly what its name suggested, and not some weird flavor of soda or something.  Needless to say, I bought it.  Specifically, I got the Pickle Juice from The Pickle Juice Company LLC, out of Texas.

     My online research revealed a definitive connection between the product and the game I recalled.  Reportedly, the founder, Brandon Brooks, saw that game and heard about the pickle juice gambit.  He then was inspired to start marketing a pickle juice beverage, starting the company in 2001.  Which is kind of weird to me.  First off, if Brooks was a Texan, as the location of his company suggests, it's a bit strange that he was motivated to sell a product similar to the one that beat his (presumed) hometown, favorite team.  (I know I would not have done so, being constantly reminded of a disastrous, terrible game, even if the overall idea was sound.)  Secondly, and more broadly, my interest in NFL football is quite intense, arguably more than is healthy for my well being and especially my stress levels, but even I have never decided to found a business based on the results of one.  Finally, as an Eagles fan, I was further confused because Brandon Brooks is the name of a famous former Philadelphia Eagles player, an offensive guard who played for them from 2016-19 and 2021, including the Super Bowl winning 2017 regular season squad.  I know, it's a coincidence, and "Brandon Brooks" isn't the most unique name, but still, it kind of struck me all the same.

     As for the company itself, The Pickel Juice Company LLC sells....pickle juice.  They recently created a version with chili lime flavor, but otherwise it's just the one product.  Kind of.  It's actually a misnomer, false advertising.  Because the pickle juice sold by The Pickle Juice Company isn't actually pickle juice at all!  (Dun Dun Duuuun!)  Instead it's the ingredients used to make pickles (i.e., vinegar, spices, etc.) mixed up into a drink, but no cucumbers are ever soaked in them.  The company even makes this point a major part of their marketing, as they have a "no pickles were harmed in the making of Pickle Juice" slogan, and have anthropomorphized pickles named Peter and Piper as "pitchvegetables.".

     But the bulk of the company's website is dedicated to their claims about how healthy their Pickle Juice is.  About how all of the electrolytes help athletes recover after exercise, especially in hot temperatures.  They go on to say that theirs is the "only product made that's scientifically proven to stop muscle cramps."  Which, in my opinion, is a bit misleading, or even possible false.  The website does cite a 2010 BYU study which showed that athletes who imbibed pickle juice recovered better after exercise than those that just drank water.  But, what about other sports drinks?  I don't think that anyone disputes that consuming electrolytes after exercise is more beneficial than consuming no electrolytes, but WHICH electrolytes?  My point is, I think that regular sports drinks like Gatorade and Powerade clearly provide electrolytes, and I'm not convinced that Pickle Juice is necessarily superior to them.  For the record, Pickle Juice does seem to have more potassium and especially sodium than these other drinks, but then they have at least one B vitamin that Pickle Juice lacks, Vitamin B12.  So the question is, which electrolytes are the best for athletes, and what are the best amounts of sodium, potassium, etc.?  I may well be wrong, but it seems like further, more detailed studies are needed before we can say that Pickle Juice is definitively better than their competitors and truly the only drink that can prevent muscle cramps.

The Pickle Juice Company, Pickle Juice:    Was more clear than I expected--maybe slightly yellowish, but basically it looked like water.  It had a distinct vinegar-y odor, though.  The taste was... like pickle juice. Maybe not as strong as actual pickle juice from the jar (not that I've drank that much, but what drips off the pickles themselves), but strong enough.  So it wasn't pleasant to drink.  I guess it does have the electrolytes people need after exercise, especially outdoors in the heat, but I question that many folks enjoy this.  Why not just drink Gatorade or Powerade?  Or Powerade Zero or the lower calorie/lower sugar types of Gatorade if you're concerned about those things. Because with those, you get arguably (?) the same type of electrolyte benefit, but the drink actually tastes good.  You can choose from dozens of flavors, such as grape, lemon lime, orange, fruit punch, etc.  So unless you're one of the rare people who likes consuming the liquid in the jar after eating the pickles, why would you drink this?  And I should say, I like pickles, both the sour and sweet kinds.  I've eaten entire jars of them, plain.  And even I think drinking down a lot of salty vinegar is strange, when you have much, much better alternatives. 

     Finally, I'll end with a bit more detail about the fateful football game I mentioned before.  On September 3, 2000, the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys opened their seasons in Texas.  On a day when the outdoor temperatures were reportedly 109 degrees Fahrenheit (or about 42.7 degrees Celsius), and on the field it was as high as 130 degrees (or about 54.4 degrees Celsius).  Anyway, the visiting Eagles blew out their division rivals 41-14.  The game is probably best remembered for the Eagles executing a successful onside kick on the opening kickoff, recovered by special teamer Dameane Douglas.  Running back Duce Staley rushed 26 times for 201 yards and a touchdown, and caught 4 passes for another 61 yards.  Surprisingly, quarterback Donovan McNabb had a lackluster game, completing only 18 of 30 passes for 130 yards, 1 touchdown, and 2 interceptions, for a passer rating of 51.2.  (He did rush 5 times for 29 yards and a touchdown, though.)  The Eagles defense played great, holding the Cowboys to only 167 total yards, and sacking them 5 times.  Individually, linebacker Jeremiah Trotter returned an interception 27 yards for a touchdown, and lineman Hugh Douglas had 2 sacks.  And, we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that this game somehow prompted a guy to start a beverage company, one which despite my opinions is evidently quite successful.  So there's that, too.

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--2 Thai/American Dried Fruits

      Today's focus was yet another fortunate find from my local Shop-Rite grocery.  I was actually looking for blog fodder, and found some.  Dried papaya and mango didn't seem all that exotic, but then I checked the back label--"Product of Thailand" was written on each.  Although the company that packaged and distributed these products is based in the U.S. state of New Jersey, hence the name of this article.  The company in question was Paramount Foods, LLC.

     As its website noted, Paramount began in September of 2006.  The point of the business was to, "provide bulk nuts, dried fruits, and grains to supermarkets in Northern New Jersey."  Since this time Paramount has expanded its selection quite a bit.  Now it also sells cookies, chips, seaweed, coconut water, coffee, sauces, salt, herbs, veggies, honey, fruit and aloe juices, bread, and spices.  It also has expanded its footprint a little, as its products are now sold in parts of Pennsylvania and New York, as well as South Jersey, since that's where I am.  The business's name is derived from the initials of the founder's three daughters--Payton, Morgan, and Taylor.  Oddly, the website didn't mention the name of the founder.  However, alternate online sources revealed it to be David Carn.  This was a tad difficult to find out, as calling your food company "Paramount" is not exactly the most unique moniker.

     Moving on to the fruit,  mangoes appear to have originated in South Asia, probably in areas of India, Bangladesh, and the Andaman Islands.  Now, though, they're grown in many other parts of the world that have the requisite hot tropical climate, such as most of Southeast Asia, East and West Africa, Spain, the Caribbean, Australia, and the warmest U.S. states such as Florida, California, and Hawaii.  They're eaten in a myriad of ways.  Raw, cooked, pickled, or as part of chutneys, salads, jams, jellies, ice cream, smoothies, or other beverages.  Nutritionally they're quite healthy.  They're strong in their amount of Vitamin C and folate, and also have small amounts of just about every other vitamin.  There is a downside, though--their leaves, stems, skins, and sap can cause skin reactions (dermatitis) and anaphylactic responses in some people.

     Papayas took an opposite route.  They were "born" in what's now the Western Hemisphere, in Southern Mexico and Central America.  But like mangoes they've been avidly transplanted, and are now cultivated in many other suitably hot areas like Central Africa, Hawaii and Florida, India, and Australia.  (And clearly, at least some are grown in Thailand, given where mine came from.)  Nutritionally they're rather similar to mangoes, as they contain huge amounts of Vitamin C and some folate, and small amounts of most other vitamins.  Also like mangoes, some folks get adverse allergic reactions to papayas, if they're unripe.  Papayas are eaten raw or cooked, as parts of entrees or in jams and juices.  Finally, when green and unripe their juices can tenderize meat, and are often used to do just that.

Paramount Foods LLC dried mangoes:  These were an orange color, in strips of various sizes--they kind of looked like sweet potato chips.  Their texture was chewy, and the taste was sweet.  I haven't had a lot of mango in my life, as I recall, but these were good.  Surprisingly so.  Nature's candy, I guess.  I would recommend these.  Also, their texture rather reminds me of dried ginger.

Paramount Foods LLC dried papaya:  These were smaller in size, mostly in cube shapes that were reddish orange with some whitish spots.  The texture was chewy once again, and kind of raisin-y.  The flavor was not as good as the mango, but still alright.  They didn't taste as sweet as the mango, which I suppose is why I preferred mangoes more.  I'd still recommend them, though.

     After mentally patting myself on the back for eating healthier snacks, I got an unpleasant surprise when I checked the ingredient list for both of these.  I figured this list would be brief--basically dried mangoes or dried papaya.  But, they both had sugar added.  (And artificial colors, if that bothers you.)  Which, depressingly, might explain why I enjoyed the mangoes so much, and liked the papaya okay--they weren't super healthy, plain fruit, but had the extra sugar.  So keep that in mind--there are probably healthier brands of dried fruit which are basically just the fruit itself.

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--A German/Polish Candy

      Okay, we're back to talking about food today.  More specifically, about an exotic candy, Toffifay, which is a hazelnut/caramel/hazelnut cream/chocolate confection from the Storck company.  My particular candy was actually made in a Polish facility, but the overall company is German, so that explains why two places are in this post's title.

     The Storck company, also known as August Storck KG, was started back in 1903 by a German man named, of course, August Storck.  Storck, who had previously been a farmer, originally called his confectionary business Werther'sche Zuckerwarenfabrik.  Fortunately for those who prefer shorter names, he renamed it some time later.  Additionally, for reasons I couldn't find out, this man also changed his surname, with his new one being Oberwelland.  Storck has become hugely successful in the 120 years of its existence, as it currently employs over 7000 people, and is exported to over 100 countries around the globe.  (If you're curious, unless you're reading this in parts of central or southern Africa, of in much of Southeast Asia, or on many Pacific Islands, you can probably get a Storck product in your general location.)  As such, Storck has many brands, all of which involve some kind of candy.  Some of these most popular ones include Werther's Original, Knoppers, Mamba, Riesen, and Merci.  The brand I tried, Toffifay, was started in 1973.  Also, this is the American version of the name--in other parts of the world it's rendered "Toffifee."  To give you another idea of how successful Storck has been, the current owner, Axel Oberwelland, is estimated to have a net worth of 3,900,000,000 (presumably in Euros).  Axel's brother Timm Oberwelland is in the film industry rather than the candy and chocolate game.  IMDB lists over 29 completed projects from him, with highlights being the films "Alien Invasion:  S.U.M. 1" (2017), "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World" (2018), and "Catweazle" (2021), as well as the 2020-21 television series "The Island." 

Storck Toffifay candy:  These candies were bowl-shaped, about 1.25 cm. (about 1 inch) in diameter, with a light brown outer rim, and a dark brown center.  The texture was slightly crunchy on the outside, but chewy on the inside.  I could detect a hazelnut flavor, and the chocolate was not too dark and bitter.  I'm not typically a big fan of hazelnut, but this was good.  Solid candy.  If you like Nutella, for example, you'll probably also like these candies.

     Finally, much to my disappointment, the previously mentioned "Catweazle" movie does not appear to be cautionary tale about a cat/weasel hybrid.  I was picturing something hideous made by a deranged surgeon, or an accident similar to what happened in the transporters in "The Fly."  Instead it's a children's fantasy story, about a Norman magician who travels 900 years into the future.  (Based on a British television show from the 1970's.)