As I've mentioned in previous posts, when it comes to alcohol I'm mainly a beer guy. There are a few hard liquors I enjoy, like Jagermeister, Becherovka (see my July 27, 2014 post), and absinthe (see my October 18, 2015 post), but overall I don't drink much of the stuff. However, the other day I was in line at my local Canal's liquor store, and saw something interesting near the check out registers. Outer Space Vodka, allegedly distilled through 4,000,000 year old meteorites. Intrigued, I bought a tiny sample bottle (50 mL, or about 1.69 ounces). Keeping with the theme, the bottle was a neat little alien head. And this reminded me of another vodka I tried years ago, which also had a cool container, and also was filtered through a special kind of rock--Crystal Head Vodka.
At this point I'd like to tell you some background information about Outer Space Vodka, such as who exactly makes it, and the exact details about the meteorites, etc. Alas, this liquor's online presence is sparse. The official website which I consulted was only a list of the five countries where you can purchase it (the U.S., Canada, Korea, Australia, and the U.K.), and links to places where you can then acquire it. The other online mentions were a paragraph or two about it, and then a review. Even this terse data was contradictory--I read that the vodka was made in the U.S., using Iowa corn, but then my bottle label read "Product of France." Also, a photo of a slightly older bottle said is was "re-imported by the La Marsalle Company" out of Illinois, but this has evidently changed. The current listed importer is Stoller Imports, again out of Illinois in the U.S. Stoller's website didn't have much more about this drink. I even sent an email with my questions to the Stoller "contact us" address, but as of yet haven't heard back. (I'll of course update this post when and if I do receive a reply.) Anyway, all I can tell you now is that Outer Space Vodka apparently began in September of 2015, it's distilled five times, has an alcohol content of 40%, and won a Gold medal at the 2016 SIP Awards, held in California. Maybe that's the point? Perhaps the company is deliberately cagey about details, to appear mysterious, almost like.....an alien conspiracy?!
In contrast, Crystal Head Vodka's details are quite well documented.The vodka was created by actor and writer Dan Aykroyd, along with his artist friend Dan Alexander. The product was sold starting in 2008, with a distinctive glass skull bottle design, inspired by the 13 Crystal Skulls. After being distilled four times, each batch, made from a variety of Canadian sweet corn, is then filtered seven times, the last three times through Herkimer diamonds. Herkimer diamonds are actually a type of quartz crystal, which are double terminated and amazingly clear--hence they kind of resemble diamonds. They're found in Herkimer, New York, and also in the overall Mohawk River Valley, as well as in a couple of other places around the world. Folks who are crystal fans think that these rocks have special powers, such as the ability to heal. The 13 Crystal Skulls are reported to be ancient Mayan or Aztec artifacts, which are also imbued with special powers. One owner said they could cure cancer, cause visions, and even kill people. But, as a recently retired archaeologist, I'd like to insert some facts here which kind of destroy the fun story. None of the skulls can be determined to have come from Mayan or Aztec sites, or any ancient archaeological sites. They were first heard of, and displayed, in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Moreover, the scientific analysis that has been performed on them has proven that they were constructed using special drills only available in the 19th and 20th centuries. So, in short, they're hoaxes. (Also, as an aside, if a person owned an object that cured cancer, why wouldn't they be decent and cure thousands, or millions of afflicted people? They could assuredly make tons of money doing so as well, even if they were selfish and greedy.) But, back to the vodka, it's proudly made without common additives, such as citrus oil, sugar, and glycerol. A look online shows that it seems to be considered a quality vodka. And the distinctive bottle comes in alternative versions--some have a metallic coating, some are baked and colored, etc. Officially the drink is made by Globefill, Inc., out of Canada, and the bottle is made by Bruni Glass, out of Italy. And to those that care, Crystal Head Vodka is both gluten-free and Kosher. If you're curious, Dan Aykroyd is known for acting in such movies as "Trading Places" (1983), "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" (1984), "Driving Miss Daisy" (1989), "Tommy Boy" (1995), "Grosse Pointe Blank" (1997), "Behind the Candelabra" (2013), and "Get on Up" (2014). He also wrote and acted in "The Blues Brothers" (1980), "Ghostbusters" (1984), and on television's "Saturday Night Live" (1975-79). (And more notoriously, he acted, wrote, and directed the infamous "Nothing But Trouble" (1991).)
Outer Space Vodka, Stoller Imports, made in France (?): Since I'd never had it before, and since I'm not that into vodka, I bought the small bottle. It's very cool--it's a green glass alien head, complete with huge black eyes, and a tiny mouth and nose. The odor of it was typical--kind of astringent. The color was clear, of course. I tried it three ways--plain, mixed with orange juice (a screwdriver), and mixed with cranberry juice (often called a Cape Codder). Plain it tasted like regular vodka, no better or worse. It was okay as a screwdriver, and better as a Cape Codder. I know it's not exciting to hear that it was just mediocre and not great or terrible, but there we are. A cursory look at reviews online were similar--it doesn't seem to be thought of as anything but an average vodka. In that case, coming up with their bottle was a good marketing idea, I think. It worked on me, anyway!
Crystal Head Vodka, Globefill, Inc.: I had this one years ago, in 2009, so my memories are a bit hazy. Also, this one time was during a day of quite a bit of celebrating, so my memory was further hazed by other alcoholic beverages, if you get my drift. I happened to be visiting a friend in Cortland, NY (Hi Aaron!). We were in a local bar, and saw the distinctive bottle. The bartender was a friend of my friend, so he gave us small samples for a nominal price, or maybe even for free. We were also struck by the coincidence, as my friend was actually from the Herkimer area, where the filtering rocks were also from. Anyway, I recall being surprisingly impressed. It tasted much smoother and less harsh than most vodkas. Maybe it's the lack of additives. Or maybe it's the "magic stone" filtering. Or maybe it was psychological, because we liked the bottle and some of Aykroyd's movies. The point being, I would recommend it to people who like vodka. Although I don't think it will cure any of your diseases or medical conditions. Except for debilitating sobriety, I suppose.
I'll conclude by discussing meteorites a bit. These objects are solid debris which lands on a planet or moon, usually from an asteroid, comet, or another planet. They're called meteors when they're in the atmosphere, and meteorites if they don't completely burn up and make it to the ground. As of 2018 there have been over 59,000 documented ones, and over 1400 witnessed falls. The biggest meteorite crater is the Vredefort Crater in South Africa, which has a diameter of 300 km. (about 190 miles). Another famous one is the Chicxulub Crater off the Yucatan Peninsula, which caused the huge extinction of 75% of the world's animals 65 million years ago. Some meteorites are even older than our sun, which is 4.6 billion years old--some of the dust in the Murchison Meteorite (which fell in Australia in 1969) is up to 7 billion years old!
Finally, another thought. Maybe the Outer Space Vodka says it's a product of France, even though it's possibly American, as a deep cut reference to another Dan Aykroyd vehicle--the Conehead characters, from both the skits on "Saturday Night Live" and the movie. If you recall, the absurd Coneheads, who were obviously aliens, told people they were from France as well. But this is just another wild, unsubstantiated conspiracy theory. (Which in most cases is redundant. Zing!)
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