Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Special Candies

     Typically, candy epitomizes the term “empty calories.”  Candy is usually sugar-packed (or in the case of the ridiculous Pixie Stix, is basically just artificially colored sugar granules) and sometimes fatty to boot.  That’s what makes candy so delicious, and so hard for most to resist.

     Well, a few companies have tried to have their cake and eat it too, so to speak, and manufacture candy that’s tasty and healthy.  Snap Infusion, out of Massachusetts, U.S.A., has come up with something called Supercandy.  To quote from their website, the candy has “5 kinds of awesome”—B vitamins, electrolytes, antioxidants, fewer than normal calories, and is natural.  They also have the slogan, “Yes, your tongue has dreams.”  (Which makes me wonder—do all our organs do this?  Does my spleen sometimes dream it’s naked except for cowboy boots, back in school being forced to take a test it hasn’t studied for?)  Fittingly, there are currently five kinds of Supercandy—gummy multi-berry, bean multi-berry (it looks like a jelly bean, not like it’s lima bean flavored or something), caramel, sour gummy fruit-full, and tart fruit-full.  Additionally they are endorsed by a female free style skier, Taylor Urlich.  I’ve heard of free style swimming, but not skiing.  But evidently it’s a thing.

     Also, the folks at AWAKE Corporation (from Canada) have invented their own spin on candy.  It’s not advertized as being healthy, but it is energizing.  Specifically, it’s billed as an eye-opener—each bar has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee (about 100 mg.), and each smaller piece “bite” has the same as a half cup.  Because of this, their candy has a maximum amount per day warning (4 “bites,” or 2 bars).  All chocolate has some caffeine in it naturally, but this has been infused with over ten times the amount.  It has a vigilant-looking mascot, in the form of an owl named Nevil.

     For the Supercandies I was able to locate the gummy multi-berry and the caramel.  The former was orange and cherry flavored, and tasted like….gummy candies, or decent.  Which I guess is good— it wasn’t noticeably inferior or even nasty like some diet/”healthy” foods.  The caramel one was better—a nice sharp caramel flavor.  I would buy either again, especially the caramel type, as they’re both respectable candies.

     Although, to be fair, there is some criticism of these types of candy.  As a health website (the Mettler Center) points out, even “healthy” candy is still largely sugar based, with all the detriments that entails.  It’s still not as nutritious as say, a piece of fruit.  Furthermore, consuming diet type candies or snacks can backfire, as they result in slower drop of the hunger hormone ghrelin, meaning a person will be less satisfied with the diet version, and may end up eating more than if they were eating regular candy/food.  So keep this in mind—Supercandy may be better than most candy, with some benefits, but don’t go thinking it’s a healthy meal or anything.  (As an aside, I really like the name “ghrelin.”  I think it would make for a good monster name—“The marks on that haberdasher’s corpse show all the signs of a ghrelin attack,” or “While we were just talking, Ghrelin just razed Luxembourg and the better part of Helena, Montana.”)

     As for the AWAKE, I tried the caramel flavor, in the bite sized piece format.  It tasted like a typical carmel-filled chocolate.  Good, but not spectacular.  I might buy it again, but I don’t think I would necessarily seek it out.  Alas, I’m not really the target audience for this product, as caffeine doesn’t seem to really affect me.  Even so, I decided to be prudent and follow the stated piece maximum for each day.  But, I can see this being a viable alternative for coffee drinkers, as they could save some time in the morning by not having to brew up a pot, or drive to Starbucks or whatever.  As with any caffeine-based food or beverage, there are the usual health issues—addiction, nervousness, trouble sleeping, etc., so if you do indulge, I would follow the warnings on the package.  (Amazing caffeine trivia—severe addict Voltaire reportedly consumed a staggering 50-72 cups of coffee a day.  How he ever slept, or managed to be out of the bathroom for more than five minutes I’ll never know.)

Writing Announcement and Another Rare Poem

     Got some more good writing news recently.  "The Literary Hatchet" accepted another one of my stories, for their upcoming August issue.  You might recall that this same publication published a story of mine, "Sudden Death Overtime," back in April of this year.  The story that was accepted this time is titled, "St. Vincent," and it's about a decidedly unorthodox hitman.  This one is definitely only suitable for adult reading, as it's one of the more disturbing ones I've written.  I'll post more details when I get them.


     Just to fill out this post a little, I was revisiting some of my old papers from childhood.  Included in them was a poem I wrote in high school, in 9th grade as I recall.  As I discussed way back in my 2nd ever blog post (February 14th, 2012), I'm not much into poetry, either reading or writing it.  So with that negative endorsement, here it is:

I needed some money, that much was very clear,
To buy my family a Christmas gift.
If I did not, my mom would shed a tear,
And everyone else would be really miffed!
After searching for money in the park,
I still could not hit upon an answer.
I guessed I could have gone to a loan shark,
But dealing with them was worse than cancer!
I thought I might earn by shoveling snow,
But there was just none on the ground.
I soon did find it was a very tough go,
I realized there were no jobs to be found.
        But then a thought came to me on my deck,
        I could make cash betting football with Eck!


     I received an "A" and a "Nice work."  (Again, it was a small school, and I was only like 15.)  And to explain, the "Eck" in the last line was my teacher, Mr. Eck, and I did indeed bet football games with him (I think I came out ahead, too).
     For those not big on poetry, like me, this is an example of an English sonnet.  Also commonly known as a Shakespearean sonnet.  Ol' William didn't invent the form, but he did help to popularize it.  It differs from the classic Italian sonnet in that its end rhyme scheme is a-b, a-b, c-d, c-d, e-f, e-f, g-g.  Additionally, I learned that the term, "Sonneteers," for people who write sonnets, of course, can be used as an insult, apparently.  I plan to start using this myself, although presumably inaccurately.
     Finally, to end on a sad note, I recently found out that my teacher passed on about a year ago.  So RIP, Mr. Eck.  Thanks for being a fun, and informative English teacher, and for teaching us "Liar's Poker," which is a gambling game using dollar bill serial numbers. 

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Golden Berries

     The first thing to know about golden berries is that they have more names than a 1970’s-1980’s European zombie movie.  Here’s some of their alternate names:  Aztec berry, Inca berry, Cape gooseberry, African ground cherry, Peruvian ground cherry, Peruvian cherry, giant ground cherry, and my favorite—amour en cage (French for “love in a cage,” which presumably is also a cliché S&M movie title).  Or, evidently in the U.K. folks stay stiffly clinical, and refer to it as physalis, after its scientific name Physalis peruviana.  As some of their names indicate, golden berries originate from South America.  But they’ve been introduced worldwide over the past several hundred years.  Now they’re grown in the U.K., South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, India, China, Thailand, and Turkey, among others.

     The French “love in a cage” moniker comes from the fruit’s structure.  Each berry is enclosed within a papery, wrapperlike hood called a calyx.  The fruit itself is usually yellow or orange, and they are typically the size of a large marble.  The “cherry” part of many of the names is a misnomer, as they’re not related.  Actually they are close cousins of the tomatillo.  Traditionally they’re eaten in fruit salads, or as dessert garnishes.  Golden berries are also dried and made into their version of raisins.  Perhaps in Paris that form is known as, “the love in a cage whom you’ve forgotten to feed or water for weeks on end.”

     I found mine in the Stop & Shop in central Jersey, the same place I located the Indian snacks from last week’s post.  They were, as advertised, very sweet and tart, with an unusual, distinctive taste for a berry.  I enjoyed them, and would have them again.  However, with one caveat.  I don’t know if this was Stop & Shop’s fault or what, but at least 60-70% of the individual fruits were inedible—most were dried out, blackened husks, and some were literally sporting penicillin-like colonies.  I think the calyx might be the cause for this, as you couldn’t see the individual berries through their covering.  Maybe the calyxes help keep them fresh, but in this case the batch I had was clearly way too old.  But, as I said, assuming that they’re ripe the berries themselves are very tasty.

     Nutritionally golden berries are a good choice, too.  They have less sugar than many similar sized berries, and have a decent amount of Vitamin A, Vitamin C, niacin, thiamine, beta carotene, and antioxidants.  The alternative medicine crowd is big on them as well.  They claim the berries are effective against jaundice, help regulate blood sugar and keep your kidneys and liver healthy.  But, as always, these claims haven’t been scientifically proven to date.  Finally, they’re also touted as being superfoods—see May 1, 2014 post for more discussion on that issue.

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Indian Snacks, and the World's Hottest Food

     So, for the first time in a grocery store I found premade Indian snacks for sale.  (Incidentally, I mean Indians as in the country, not Native Americans.)  The store, Stop & Shop, had a decent international foods selection in general.  And evidently the area between Princeton and New Brunswick, NJ, has a decent sized population of folks with Indian ancestry, or at least customers who like the cuisine. 

     Obviously, given the theme of this type of blog post, I’m pretty much always willing to try new and exotic foods.  However, in this case I was particularly eager, as I’m quite the fan of Indian food.  Everything from the appetizers, to the entrees, to the bread on the side, to the yogurt-based beverages are very tasty.

     Here are the snack foods I found.  I’m yet again using the U.S. scholastic method for grading—A for excellent, B for good, C for average, D for unsatisfactory but barely passing, F for failing, and pluses and minuses as necessary.

Peanut Bhujia, distributed by Deep Foods, Inc., made in the U.S.A.  These were peanuts wrapped in a coating made of chick pea flour, corn starch, corn and canola oils, urad flour, salt, chili, black salt, mango powder, black pepper, citric acid and spices:  A-.  I love peanuts, and these were basically just crunchier, spicier versions.

Cruncy Chor, also a Deep Foods, U.S.A. made product.  These were tiny yellowish crackers made from chickpeas, corn and canola oil, salt, red pepper, black salt, citric acid, and spices:  B-.  These were pretty good, but not as palatable as the previous bhujia.  Spicy again.  Rather messy to eat, too, as the crackers were easily broken into essentially powder.

Hot N’ Crunchy, once again distributed by Deep Foods, but actually made in India.  Clearly, this is a generic name—I couldn’t find a more specific one on the bag, or during brief internet research.  This snack looked sort of like trail mix, with small rods, pea sized spheres, and tiny crackers all together.  Made from gram flour, rice flour, rice flakes, corn flakes, peanuts, palm oil, red chilis, and spices:  B+.  These had a chip-like flavor to them, which I suppose comes from the corn flakes.  Decent again, and also spicy.

     Therefore, even the worst of these was still pretty good.  I would recommend any of them, unless you’re not into spicy foods.  Because the spice is noticeable—I could only eat a moderate amount at a sitting, as the spice grew on me.

     Speaking of spice, I was curious about the hottest foods in the world.  I’ve been in multiple restaurants that advertised extremely spicy food, usually in the form of hot chicken wings.  Back in my college days, I remember chowing down on the Thermonuclear wings at Cluck U Chicken in New Brunswick, NJ.  During one particularly embarrassing, (drunken) night, I was so overwhelmed by the wings that I drank the ranch side dressing to try to get some relief.  Some places which tout ridiculously hot foods even require potential customers to sign a legal waiver so the restaurant doesn’t get sued if you harm yourself.

     The standard scale used in defining food hotness is the Scoville Scale, named after its developer, the pharmacist Wilbur Scoville, in 1912.  Various types of pepper are the undisputed hotness title holders.  Back in 2007, the champ was the Bhut Jolokia, commonly known as the ghost pepper.  It scored a high of 1,000,000 Scoville units.  But the hot pepper game is constantly changing, so it was surpassed repeatedly in a short amount of time.  The Infinity Chili scored a 1,067,286, and then the Naga Viper Pepper got 1,382,118.  Then the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion scored a 2,000,000.  The latest champ is the Carolina Reaper (whose original moniker was the boring “HP22BNH”), which clocks in with a high of 2,200,000.  It’s a cross between the ghost pepper and a red habenaro.  Its developer is Ed Currie of the South Carolina based PuckerButt Pepper Company (really).

     I should note all of these scores are somewhat controversial.  Some folks contend that the Scoville Scale is too subjective.  They point out that the Scoville process involves 5 (trained) human tasters judging each candidate (after it’s been dried and dissolved in alcohol, and then diluted in a sugar water solution).  Differences in the human raters’ personal tastes, or simply sensory fatigue (taste buds can be desensitized after repeated tastings) can lead to different scores from different spice labs.  An alternate method is considered more objective and empirical, since it measures the capsaicin amounts (the substance that causes pepper hotness) using high performance liquid chromatography, and comes up with American Spice Trade Association Pungency Units.  (Roughly, one of these corresponds with 15 Scoville units.)

     But, my personal favorite will always be the fictional pepper featured in the chili cook off episode of “The Simpsons.”  It’s the episode where Chief Wiggum uses a super hot pepper which causes Homer to run off in a panic, and have various terrifying yet ultimately insightful hallucinations, assisted by his coyote spirit animal, voiced by Johnny Cash.  I’ll end by including Wiggum’s description:  “The merciless pepper of Quetzalacatenango… grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.”

Obscure Baseball Feats/Records

     With the baseball season well upon us, I thought today I’d discuss a few records which the casual fan might not know.  If nothing else, I need to distract myself from how terrible my Phillies are.  Most of these are records accomplished in one game, by unlikely players (and yes, some of them are Phillies).  As for the abbreviations, the slash for batters (ex. .300/.400/.450) is batting average, on base percentage, and then slugging average.  OPS+ is on base percentage plus slugging average, adjusted for time period, ballparks, etc.—100 is about average and the higher the number the better.  On a similar note, ERA+ is the earned run average adjusted for time period, ballparks, etc., and once again 100 is average and above that is better.  WHIP is the pitcher’s ratio, walks and hits per innings pitched.  (Below 1.00 is spectacular, about 1.25- 1.30 is average, etc.

1)      Tony Cloninger was mostly a slightly below average pitcher in his 12 year career, posting a 113-97 won-loss record, a 4.07 ERA, a 1.381 WHIP, and a 88 ERA+.  However, on July 3^rd, 1966 while on the Atlanta Braves, he did something no pitcher had ever done before, or since.  At the plate he hit two grand slams (and drove in another run, for 9 total RBI’s) in a 17-3 rout of the Giants in San Francisco.  Not bad offense from a position usually considered (rightfully) to be an easy out.

2)      Staying on grand slams, we have the case of Fernando Tatis.  Corner infielder and outfielder Tatis was about an average hitter in his career, going .265/.344/.442, with an OPS+ of 101.  Twelve other players, including of course Cloninger, hit two grand slams in one game, but Tatis shockingly hit both in the same inning.  As a St. Louis Cardinal against the Los Angeles Dodgers on April 23, 1999, in the 3^rd inning, Tatis hit his two.  Almost as shockingly, both came off the same pitcher, Chan Ho Park.  Why manager Davey Johnson left Park in so long is quite the mystery.

3)      Let’s move to no hitters.  Rick Wise was a decent, but not great pitcher, going 188-181 won-loss, with a 3.69 ERA, a 1.289 WHIP, and a 101 ERA+.  However, on June 23, 1971 while pitching for the Phillies he had a spectacular game.  In addition to pitching a no hitter (with only one baserunner, a walk), he hit two home runs at the plate.  If you’re curious, four other guys have thrown no hitters in a game and also hit one home run—Frank Mountain in 1884, Wes Ferrell in 1931, Jim Tobin in 1944, and Earl Wilson in 1962.

4)      Throwing a no hitter is almost always a career highlight for a pitcher.  However, poor Ken Johnson suffered an embarrassing distinction.  He’s the only player to throw a complete, 9 inning no hitter and lose (0-1, with the run scoring on multiple errors) while pitching for the Houston Colt .45s  versus the Cincinnati Reds on April 23, 1964.  For his career Johnson was a mostly so-so hurler, going 91-106 won-loss, with a 3.46 ERA, 1.199 WHIP, and 102 ERA+.

5)      Pitcher Bobo Holloman had a truly bizarre career.  Delayed in part by World War II, among other things, he didn’t make the majors until he was 30, with the St. Louis Browns.  After making a few relief appearances, he was given his first start on May 6^th, 1953.  He threw a no hitter.  But, a couple of months later, in July, he was released, and with good reason, as his numbers were a won-loss record of 3-7, with an ERA of 5.23, a 1.821 WHIP, and a 81 ERA+.  He never pitched in the majors again.  Going back even further, the wonderfully named Bumpus Jones in 1892, while pitching for the Cincinnati Reds against the Pittsburgh Pirates, also threw a no-no in his first starting assignment.  This was really his only bright spot.  In his two year career, he went 2-4, with a 7.99 ERA, a 1.896 WHIP, and a 57 ERA+.  Sabermetrician Bill James rates him as the worst, most unlikely pitcher to throw a no hitter ever.

6)      As a lover of the odd, and absurd, I really enjoy it when position players are picked to pitch.  Obviously, this is usually only in games when the team is already losing by a ton, or more rarely, when they’ve run out of pitchers in a long extra inning game.  The latter scenario has resulted in a few position players getting unlikely wins.  Regular outfielder Rocky Colavito did so for the New York Yankees against the Detroit Tigers on August 25, 1968.  Colorado Rockies catcher Brent Mayne also won a game, on May 6^th, 2000.  Philadelphia Phillies second baseman Wilson Valdez beat the Cincinnati Reds on May 25, 2011.  The last guy was Baltimore Oriole designated hitter Chris Davis, on May 6, 2012.  Davis’s case was weirder because he beat another position player-turned pitcher, outfielder Darnell McDonald of the Boston Red Sox.

7)      Merv Connors had a brief, two year career with the Chicago White Sox in 1937-8.  This third baseman/first baseman did well at the plate, hitting .279/.367/.485, for a 111 OPS+.  Known as a good power hitter in the minors, unfortunately his defense was evidently atrocious, as he was let go despite his solid hitting.  He did have one moment in the sun, though, as he hit 3 home runs in one game, on September 17, 1937.  He only had 5 others, total in his short stint in the big leagues.

8)      Staying on this topic, there’s infielder Steve Jeltz.  Unlike Connors, he was fairly pitiful at the plate, compiling totals of .210/.308/.268, with an OPS+ of 61, with only 5 home runs.  Inexplicably, though, two of these came in one game, while he was with the Phillies, on June 8, 1989, against the Pittsburgh Pirates.  To add to the unlikely fun, he hit one right-handed, and the other left-handed.

9)      Only 13 pitchers have hit homers in a World Series game, although Bob Gibson and Dave McNally each did it twice.  The last one was Phillies pitcher Joe Blanton, on October 26, 2008, against the Tampa Bay Rays.  Blanton’s might be the most unlikely of all, since he’s never even had another extra base hit, let alone a home run, in his career to date (he’s still active).

10)  Some players, like Pete Rose, are renowned for their ability to play multiple positions.  Four times this was taken to the extreme, as players played all nine positions in a single game.  Obviously this is kind of a contrived record, usually only done late in the season, when it won’t affect the standings.  Bert Campaneris of the Kansas City A’s was the first, on September 8, 1965, followed by Minnesota Twin Cesar Tovar on September 22, 1968, Texas Ranger Scott Sheldon on September 6, 2000, and finally Detroit Tiger Shane Halter on October 1, 2000.

11)  The players who have played on the most World Series winning teams are, not surprisingly, former New York Yankees.  Catcher/outfielder Yogi Berra played in an amazing 14 Series, and won 10 times, or one ring for every finger.  Outfielder Joe DiMaggio was a close second, winning 9 times.  Infielder Frank Crosetti was on the playing roster for 8, played in 6, and then was a coach for 9 more.

12)  Something very strange happened in 1912.   In May, Detroit Tiger star outfielder Ty Cobb went into the stands and beat up a handicapped heckler.  (This was par for the course for the sociopathic Cobb.  Although, the heckler reportedly used an ugly racial slur, so it’s almost hard to know who was the good guy in all of this.)  Cobb was then suspended indefinitely.  In protest, the rest of the Tigers refused to play.  So the Detroit organization was charged with finding replacement players with little notice.  They literally signed people off the streets of Philadelphia, where their next game was scheduled.  A team of these replacements and some unretired former ballplaying coaches completed the roster for the May 18 game.  Predictably, the experiment was an abysmal failure, as they lost to the Philadelphia A’s 23-2 (or possibly 24-2—different sources give different totals, and I couldn’t find the box scores).  Replacement Tiger pitcher Allan Travers pitched an 8 inning complete game, giving up 26 hits, 7 walks, and the 23 (24?) runs (“only” 14 were earned), for an ERA of 15.75, an ERA+ of 22, and a WHIP of 4.13.  After this debacle MLB forced the real players to return, and Cobb’s suspension was lifted.  All but one of the replacements, including Travers, never played in another Major League game again.  This, sadly, isn’t the all time record for most hits and total runs allowed though—position player turned pitcher Dave Rowe gave up 29 hits, 7 walks, and 35 runs (although “only” 12 were earned) in 9 innings in a game in 1882.  Travers did something else unique—he’s the only major league baseball player to become a priest.

(In the game hours after I wrote this, my pitiful Phils almost made bad history against the Rockies, getting no-hit for 7 and a third innings.  Fortunately they finally got a couple measly hits to break it up.)

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Odd Jams and Preserves

     I’ve never been that into jams and preserves.  Like most kids, I used to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and occasionally I would have grape jelly on toast, but not often, and not for a long time.  I did try Nutella in college and liked it okay, and I also had vegemite/marmite (See April 30, 2012 post) a few times, but these were far from regular events.  While wandering through the condiment aisle in the Kroger supermarket in West Virginia recently, I decided to change this up.  This store seemed to have an unusually varied selection of jams and preserves for sale, so I snapped up a few that I found the weirdest.  As usual, I’ll give some details about each one, and then rate them near the end.

     Apple butter is a bit of a misnomer, as it contains no dairy products.  It evidently exists largely due to its resistance to spoilage, which is superior to apple sauce.  It was invented in the areas that would become Germany, Belgium, and The Netherlands in the Middle Ages.  Basically, they slow cook the mashed apples until they carmelize.  My butter was the Kroger store brand, called “Private Selection: Washington Apple Butter.”  It was a dark brown color, rather similar to vegemite.

     Pumpkin butter is also not a real dairy butter.  This was also a Kroger Private Selection, coming from pumpkins grown in Oregon.  It was, not surprisingly, a yellowish-orange spread.

     The Four Fruits Preserve was the lone import, as it’s made in France, by a company called Bonne Maman.  It looked a lot like regular grape jelly—purple.  The fruits used were cherries, strawberries, raspberries, and red currants.  The last one I’ve never had.

     I’d never heard of hot jalapeno pepper jelly, but in talking to friends, apparently it’s part of traditional U.S. Southern cuisine.  It’s used as an additive to meat, like mint jelly with lamb, or on crackers with cream cheese.  The jar also suggests that I sauté it in a sauce pan with baby carrots, as a side dish.  Given my deep hatred of carrots, and general unwillingness to cook, this one wasn’t going to happen.  Also, it was unique among these selections in that not only did I not have to refrigerate it after opening, I was specifically warned not to, as the contents would crystallize.  This one looked red, and pectin and spices were added to the jalapenos.  It was made by Braswell’s out of Georgia.

     Since I was in a hotel, with no toaster or cooking apparatuses other than a microwave, I kept things pretty simple.  I had each jam or preserves on bread—Nature’s Own “Whitewheat Bread,” which seems like naming a car a “Ford Chevy,” but whatever.  It was okay bread, and mild, so I could get the full effect of the spread.  I’ll use the typical U.S. scholastic system for grading—A for excellent, B for good, C for average, D for unsatisfactory but barely passing, F for failing, with pluses and minuses as needed.

Washington Apple Butter:  B+.  Sweet, and good.  Liked this better than regular apple sauce.

Oregon Pumpkin Butter:  A.  Really liked this one—reminded me of pumpkin pie, which I’m also a big fan of.

Four Fruits Preserves:  B+.  Good.  However, I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t pick out the individual fruit flavors.  Nicely tart.

Hot Jalapeno Pepper Jelly:  A. Very bizarre.  At first I couldn’t decide what I thought of it.  As advertised, it was both sweet and spicy at the same time.  After a few bites I realized I really liked it, and it was the best of the bunch.

     So there you have it.  I liked all of them, and really enjoyed the pumpkin butter and hot jalapeno pepper jelly.  I ended up finishing all the jars but the apple butter, as I ran out of bread.  I would recommend any of these.  But despite my enjoyment, I don’t think I’ll be buying these again very often—I’m still not into buying spreads and making sandwiches, etc.

    

     

Exotic/Disgusting Foods and Beverages Forum--Persimmons

     I’d heard of persimmons for many years, but I never had the chance to try them until I was in rural Wysox, Pennsylvania, of all places, in the same grocery (Tops) where I first had cherimoya (see November 15, 2014 post).  Each individual one is about the size of a large apple, and they have smooth skins which are a yellowish/reddish/orange color.  As with tomatoes, whose skin is similar in look and feel to the persimmon, these fruits are technically berries, although most folks don’t categorize them in that way.  Persimmons are native to much of Asia, Southwest Europe, and the U.S.  The name I’m using for them is derived from a Native American word for “dry fruit.”

     Persimmons are known for their astringent flavor.  Even the more mild varieties are considered to be a little harsh tasting when they’re unripe.  Having learned this, I dutifully aged my persimmon for a few days.  When properly ripe they’re supposed to be quite soft, and are often eaten with a spoon after being cut open, like a natural pudding.  Alas, either I didn’t age mine enough, or else I’m just not into persimmons period.  It was juicy, but the flavor was weird.  A friend found it chalky, and I agreed.  It was sweetish, but not that great.  In short, I’m not tempted to try it again, even if I was more careful to age it the right amount of time.  They are, as I recall, not too expensive, though—I think mine was about $2 or so.

     There is, however, one interesting aspect of the persimmon—what it does in the stomach.  It’s packed with a tannin called shibuol that reacts oddly to stomach acids, and can coagulate into a gluey mass.  This mass, called a diospyrobezoar, which is a type of phytobezoar, can grow until it causes pain, nausea, vomiting, gastric obstruction, and even perforation.  Treatments include ingestion of meat tenderizer, or Coca-Cola, to dissolve the mass, or the use of lasers to break it up.  In extreme cases surgery may even be necessary.

     Bezoars, which are the umbrella term for all types of trapped masses in the gastrointestinal system, have a funny history.  People used to think that they had magical properties—the most common idea being that they protected a person against poisons.  Evidently they can provide some protection against arsenic, but not completely, and they’re useless against other poisons.  Before this was proven scientifically, though, people used to pay large sums for disgusting growths from peoples’, or animals’ stomachs and digestive tracts (and some may still do).  Just to add more info, phytobezoars are composed of undigested plant parts, like seeds, skin, fibers, etc.  Other types of bezoars are caused by undigested milk, drug tablets, soil, gum, and even hair.

     I was also strangely amused to see that Coca-Cola was of medical use in dissolving the diospyrobezoars.  I only saw Coke mentioned, and not other sodas, or even other cola flavored beverages, like Pepsi, RC, etc.  Why is Coke so special?  I’d like to find out.  But I’d love to see Coke use that attribute as a ridiculously specific, rare ad slogan.  Something like, “Have a Coke and a smile, because you know your painful and repulsive stomach growths are getting smaller!”

     But, now that I may have scared you off of persimmons, with all the talk about awful stomach “pearls,” you should know that getting them is rare.  Basically, unless you eat them daily, especially unripe ones (which have more of the tannin), you’ll probably be fine.  Although it is recommended that you don’t eat persimmons on an empty stomach, to save you some possible mild upset.

     Given my disdain for this fruit, now I’m very confident that my tombstone won’t contain the line, “Died when his diospyrobezoar burst through this stomach, reminding onlookers of that infamous scene from ‘Alien.’”