I came upon these while nervously shopping in my local Shop Rite supermarket last Saturday. My folks had tried these before, but I hadn't. I recalled them as being Canadian, and therefore, qualifying as "exotic" for my blog. Since they were indeed from our friendly neighbors to the North I got some--three varieties of their sugar-free cookies. For the record, I bought the almonette, oatmeal, and pecan shortbread kinds. All were made by Voortman Bakery, out of Ontario.
The Voortman Bakery was started in 1951 by two brothers of Dutch ancestry--William and Harry Voortman. By 1956 their wares were being sold in a local grocery store. And currently the company is huge, exporting to over seventy countries worldwide, employing over 200 full time employees, and having reported annual sales of $100,000,000 (in U.S. dollars, I think) as of 2015. Their ownership has changed a couple of times in the last decade. Swander Pace Capital acquired them, but only a few months ago Hostess Brands bought them, for a reported $320,000,000 (again, in U.S. dollars).
Like a lot of the companies whose products I tend to report on, Voortman has also been active lately in making their products be more natural and healthy. In 2004 they eliminated trans fats. In 2017 they nearly completely eliminated artificial colors, artificial flavors, and high fructose corn syrup. (I say "nearly completely" because some of their sugar-free baked goods still contain these substances.) Their products are all vegetarian-friendly, but some are not appropriate for vegans. Also, it's almost weird to see this in 2020, but their cookies and such are NOT gluten-free. Finally, I was morbidly amused to read a warning on the label of the cookies I got. It stated that the sugar substitutes they use can have a laxative effect in sensitive people. I don't think this is as extreme as the "olestra can cause anal leakage" warning from the WOW potato chips/crisps of the late 1990's, but still.* At the risk of being crass, (and medically unsound), maybe if you're constipated and can't afford Ex-Lax or Dulcolax, you can fix your problem in a decidedly tastier way!
1) Voortman Bakery, sugar-free oatmeal cookies: These were round, with a diameter of about 6.5 cm. (about 2.5 inches), with a brown color, and lumpy texture. I should mention I love oatmeal in general. These were a little dry, and not very sweet. Not terrible, but kind of average, or "meh."
2) Voortman Bakery, sugar-free pecan shortbread cookies: Same size and shape as the oatmeal ones. Yellow color, with occasional bits of pecan visible. Tasted good, like a typical pecan sandy. That happens to be one of my favorite kinds of cookies, and these were a good example. I didn't notice the lack of sugar--the sweetness level was fine, and they were nicely rich.
3) Voortman Bakery, sugar-free almonette cookies: These were about 3 inches by 2 inches (about 7.5 cm. by 5 cm.), with a roughly oval shape, with a scalloped pattern on the top and some icing streaks. Yellowish-brown color. These were good--almond-y, and again, decently sweet despite the lack of sugar. Not great, but better than average.
So, all things considered, the Voortman sugar-free cookies I tried were fairly impressive. Even the weakest variety was still okay, and the other two were quite good. I remember trying sugar-free products when I was younger, in the 1980's and 1990's, and most of those were absolutely inedible, horrendous garbage. Therefore, Voortman's concoctions were pretty skilled in comparison. I also am willing to try their other baked goods if/when I get the chance. For some reason, my Shop Rite is only stocking the sugar-free ones at the moment.
Also, this is only indirectly related, but the mentioning of Hostess reminded me of a couple of anecdotes. The food product line of this company is famous for several baked goods, including Ding Dongs and Sno Balls. But by far the flagship brand is the Twinkie. Aside from being a beloved treat for decades in the U.S., Twinkies are arguably most famous for two things. On the negative side, I would encourage readers interested in true crime to learn the history behind the "Twinkie Defense," used by Dan White's lawyers in his trial for killing San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1978. To be fair, the story has been misinterpreted over the years, with many thinking that White's defense was claiming that eating things like Twinkies caused White to go insane and do the shootings. Actually, his lawyers were claiming that his crime wasn't first degree murder due to diminished capacity, because of depression, and White's change in diet to eating junk food like Twinkies was a symptom of his depression, not the cause. Anyway, the strategy worked, and White was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter, and given a seven year sentence (of which he served five years). However, many people think that White was indeed guilty of first degree murder, and should have gotten a much longer sentence, such as life. I actually learned about this case from a song by the great punk group the Dead Kennedys, a version of "I Fought the Law" with altered lyrics.
The other thing Twinkies are famous for is supposedly being so chock full of preservatives and unnatural ingredients that they can still be edible for years, or decades. I've heard many jokes (and told them, before I knew the full story) over my life about how Twinkies and cockroaches are the only things that will survive a nuclear catastrophe and the like. Well, it turns out that a Twinkie's "lifespan" has been exaggerated enormously. Their shelf life ranges from 25 days to a high of 45 days. Which makes sense, since they're baked goods--their main ingredients include such mortal substances as flour and eggs. So, when the zombie hordes are massing around your bunker, better eat your Twinkies during the first month, and save the canned goods and military MRE rations for the long haul.
* I was very surprised to learn that olestra is still used in chips. Sales of WOW chips plummeted after the first year or so (they started in 1998), so by 2004 Frito-Lay changed the name of the chips to Lights, but continued using olestra. (Maybe these use less of it now?) As far as I can tell, they're currently being sold. So if you eat those chips, be forewarned--probably don't eat the whole bag!
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