Today I'll be discussing some water from the Acqua Panna brand, which is bottled from a spring in Tuscany, Italy. And actually I bought and drank this water like two years ago. I kind of forgot about it, and/or whenever I remembered it the time wasn't right for a post, because I'd just done something about Italy recently, or of another non-alcoholic beverage. Anyway, today's the day. Additionally, I'll wrap this up by including a somewhat related tale from my time working as a field archaeologist.
The area where the Acqua Panna spring is was bought by the hugely powerful and wealthy Medici family back in the early 1400's. The date on the bottle and website is 1564, so that's evidently when the spring was first discovered and utilized. However, it was fenced off and just used by the family for centuries, until the property, and spring were acquired by others. The water wasn't bottled and sold until 1880. In 1957 the operation was purchased by San Pellegrino, which in turn is currently owned by the giant Nestle corporation. As for a few more tidbits about Acqua Panna, this water is actually alkaline, with a pH of 8.0. It's also designated as a spring water rather than a mineral water. I didn't feel like looking this up, but presumably the distinction is the amount of minerals occurring in the water. If you're one of those conspiracy theorists that think that fluoride is some mind control drug or some such nonsense, you can rest easy, as Acqua Panna contains none of this substance. I was a bit amused to see a "Serving Suggestions" part in the FAQ section on the official website. Yes, they advise that you imbibe your water at a temperature of 12-18 degrees Celsius (or 53-64 degrees Fahrenheit), with neither ice nor lemon. They also suggest some food and wine pairings for your Acqua Panna. So some pretentiousness to go with your water, I suppose. (Maybe I'm being a little harsh here, but c'mon, it's water.)
Acqua Panna spring water: Like all non-polluted water, I guess, this water was clear and had no odor. The taste was okay. A little odd, though--it somehow tasted a little like it was carbonated, even though it wasn't. So overall it was decent, but I wasn't dazzled or anything. I certainly wouldn't pay its higher price or anything. Perhaps my palate has been destroyed from years of drinking mostly tap water. So unless you live in an area where the local water is unsafe to drink, or is significantly foul-tasting, I've never really seen the point of buying any bottled water. And Acqua Panna hasn't changed my mind.
On to the work anecdote which, again, will be a little earthy and crude. Back when I was digging full time, we obviously had to work in the extreme heat of summer--sometimes even in raw temperatures well over 95 degrees Fahrenheit (or 35 degrees Celsius) with heat indexes that were even higher. Meaning we had to drink copious amounts of water, as well as consuming sports drinks for electrolytes, etc. Anyway, one crew member was legendary for his foolishness in this regard. I did not actually meet this person, so this story is second or third hand. (Although these sources were people I knew and trusted, so I believe them.) He told people that he "didn't like the taste of water." Not the particular water in the area we were staying, but all water, across the board. Really. Instead he drank carbonated soft drinks all day--if memory serves, Dr. Pepper. (Which, for folks who don't know is pretty much the worst kind of beverage you can drink in these circumstances, short of chugging alcoholic beverages.) During long field days in the American South, in the summer. Not shockingly, he got sick. To the point of crapping his pants. So, lesson learned, right? Nope, not our guy. After this he stuck to his stupid guns, and continued to avoid water for Dr. Pepper....but he did bring an extra pair of underwear, for the inevitable later rounds of bowel incontinence. He didn't last long as a field tech--which is probably good, since he presumably would have eventually died from his stubbornness. These actions prompted a nickname, clearly. I can't recall this man's real name, but I do definitely remember his nickname--Brigadier Poopy Pants. He had other annoying habits, too. Like a lot of new field archaeologists, he was extremely into machetes. Some guys (and it's almost always guys) regard machetes as more than just practical tools occasionally needed for brush clearing, and bring them along even when not needed because it makes them feel like a badass. Ol' BPP tried to wear one into a restaurant at lunch, reportedly, before the supervisor made him leave it in the field vehicle. He also had a vanity license plate that referenced coprolites, presumably "COPRLTE." (Again, for those that don't know, coprolites are fossilized feces.) Which I actually find kind of funny, but other folks didn't enjoy. So. long story short, one of my coworkers was too stupid to drink water, even after doing something that most people would consider to be the most humiliating thing you can do. I made some mistakes in the field about heat safety, but I'm proud that I didn't join his club, so to speak. Hopefully BPP learned his lesson finally, and started forcing himself to choke down some water if he wanted to continue to work outside in the summer. I'm also curious if he ever found out that his revolting exploits lived on in our company stories for decades after he left. Was he capable of shame?
The moral of this story is don't be like BPP--if you're working outside in the heat, drink plenty of water and sports drinks. Even if you're a weirdo and don't really enjoy them. It's much better than the alternatives.
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